November 2, 2009

I'm sorry I've become such a bad blogger. I've been busy, yes..but never so busy that I can't sit down for a couple of minutes to write SOMETHING. Other things I'd rather do, I guess. Distracted..lazy..tired. So very tired.

What's been going on..well, I've been to the podiatrist twice so far (and my doctor is incredibly good looking. He can't help it.). He's given me 2 steroid shots (one on each visit) to help relieve this plantar fasciitis pain I've had since June..and with the last visit a boot. Dude, I know. And I'm not even allowed to walk around in it. I'm supposed to sleep in it and every time I'm on the couch it's supposed to be strapped on. I also have to do foot stretches 3 times a day and I'm still taking the pills for the inflammation that comes with the whole thing. While it still hurts a little...it feels better than it did so we're hoping for my next appointment on the 16th to be the last. Fingers crossed!

I've also been hanging out with a new group of girls. I think I'm the oldest in the group..but not by much (like a few months haha). We try to meet up once a week for coffee or eaties or whatever and other things are planned on the side. They're a nice group of girls and it doesn't feel so lonely anymore now that I've found them, ya know? My plan is for all of us (or whoever can make it) to do it up Sex and the City style and hit the town for my birthday next week (!!)..but probably on the 13th so Orion can have his wife on her actual birthday. So that'll all be fun..I'm pretty excited.

Orion left on the 20th for WLC (finally! It's only taken a YEAR to go haha). He graduates on Wednesday the 4th..I'll be there in a cute dress taking pictures of my darling! Time flew by..but time was also named Abby and she was in a constant state of drippy sweat. Yo, being a single mother..or playing a single mother for a couple of weeks is HARD when the kids are not itty bitty anymore. Calix has had an especially hard time with daddy being away..and golly knows I've been trying my best to make things happy and merry around here..but you know, your day can only be as good as your attitude is. And when you have a crappy attitude and you make all kinds of evil 'if I had a knife I would stab you' kinds of faces at your mother and scream out in public that she's hitting you when she's buckling you into your carseat so you don't DIE because believe it or not, child..I LOVE YOU. When you act like I'm kidnapping you at Walmart instead of just trying to leave the store without buying you a special treat for not taking a nap (I have ears, my darling)..when you beat your brother up and consistently go play in the upstairs hallway well after bedtime..when you beg for something specific to eat and mommy makes that thing for you and then you refuse to eat ANY of it..when you hurl chairs at mom..when you outright disobey mom..when you bring your mother to embarrassment and tears in public or at home on multiple occasions because she is just exhausted from all of this..I'm sorry, dear..but your life is going to be hard. There will be plenty of corner time, your toys will be taken away, and you will absolutely get spankings (as much as it hurts my heart to do so).

I honestly believe his behavior is because he misses Orion so much..but doesn't know how to express it. He'll call at night and Calix will say he doesn't want to talk to him..like he's too good to talk to him..and when I hang up, he'll cry that he wants to talk to daddy. That sort of thing. Either that, or this child and I will be the mother and son who are in a constant battle with one another..all throughout our lives. I'm way too tired for the latter. I want a happy relationship with BOTH of my sons. I want to be able to scoop them up when they are hurt and check out what's going on. Calix screams and pulls away and says "don't touch me! don't look at me!!" and then cries about the splinter that's in his foot and he won't let me pull out for him. It sure is frustrating.

Anyway, we're trying. I'm always sweaty from all of the running around..but I'm still here. I've threatened to run away..but I guess that's frowned upon.

I've finally started to work out. I had to wait a few days because I couldn't take my eyes off of Calix for more than 2 minutes in the beginning without there being some kind of something awful happening. So that's helping me to lose more weight than I was without it..which is freaking awesome. I love that number ticking down to my goal! I'm still about 25 pounds away from the goal..but you know what? 25 seems like nothing compared to the initial scary 60. It's just that it's the food time of year and with delicious eats everywhere..it's just taking a little longer than I anticipated. But that's okay..I'm still proud of me for still dropping the weight..even if it gets a little slow for a couple of months. I had gained 4 pounds right before Orion left..from all of the fast food and what not..but since he's been gone, I've lost those 4 as well as another 4..but then gained a pound from the Halloween party I threw but then lost that pound. And I haven't weighed myself yet today so I'll check tomorrow morning..but I feel like I've probably lost a bit more. I'm running at a faster pace..I ran 3/4 of a mile this morning before going back to speed walking..but the thing is? I felt like I could have run longer. How awesome is that? I'm so proud!

I'm too tired to re-post the Halloween pictures (the majority of them are on Facebook if you want to see them)..here have this one:

We had a super awesome time..and I'm pretty impressed with how my first party like that turned out. I need more practice, for sure..but I don't think it was a bad one by any means.

Okay, I'll try to be better about this. You'll at least get graduation pictures on Wednesday..so there's always that to look forward to. And kissing Orion. At least I look forward to that one..if anyone else does, we are going to have some problems. Step up. hahahah



Hey, happy birthday, Emily!!