Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Oooo Adventuresss

I called 911. It was me..everyone can go back inside now. Fire trucks and ambulances and MPs rolled up all up in their gear..there must have been 10 firemen. Everyone came outside, it seemed..or at least everyone near my house.

This is what happened:

I'm on the phone with Amanda and all of a sudden something smells. It's just me, Supernanny, a bag of Doritos (of which I only eat a small handful you can get off my back, too.), and Amanda on the phone. We're talking it up about acupuncture and herbal remedies and something smells like burnt out birthday candles. Straight up BIRTHDAY CANDLES. Maybe it's a ghost's birthday? Maybe they're having a celebration nextdoor? That's an awful lot of candles..jeeze how old are they really? So I call and call for Orion to hurry downstairs to see what he thinks..and we're both wandering around sniffing the air. I open the closet under the stairs that houses the furnace. I move the furniture away from the outlets in case it's an electrical fire. Orion swears it's not. Amanda lets me go so I can figure it out. "I'm calling the fire department" I say. " don't need to" he says. "Then what IS it?" and I start to panic. "Does it smell in the babies' room?? Are they okay?? Go see if they're okay!". It doesn't smell upstairs at all. The smell downstairs is getting stronger."That's it...I'm calling. I'd rather be safe than sorry."

My call to them went something like this:

911, what's your emergency?

I don't know, really. Something smells really bad in my blown out birthday candles..and I can't figure out why.

He gets my information and I waited outside. The sirens got louder as they got closer. I can't help but smile when this happens. Someone's (or a lot of someones) coming to save me! My culdesac lights up with all kinds of pretty flashy lights. I point them to my house. The neighbors file out to the lights as if they were flies and just couldn't help themselves. What I tell them it smells like is confirmed and *my* term is being relayed all over the place "blown out birthday candles!" which makes me feel all kinds of special and I give my nose a nice stroke of appreciation. Good job, done good. I tell them how paranoid I am about fire and I'd just rather be safe than sorry and they don't blame me, of course. They check everything. The lights. The furnace "I just changed the filter yesterday!". They are sniffing everywhere..and checking each room with their little meters. They feel the dryer and ask if I've been doing laundry and I say yes. It's not the dryer. They open the dishwasher and they were rewarded with a nice steam facial. You're welcome. They dig around in there and....


Sure enough, one of the plastic straws from Maddox's cup flew out and was melting. I feel like a jerk..calling them all the way out here for something I could have discovered myself. To be honest though..I really didn't even think about that because the kitchen barely smelled. Everyone is sniffing the melted straw and agreeing that yup..that's what it is!

They all filed out..and as soon as their blinking lights went away..the neighbors went back into their houses. I'm glad I could be their entertainment for the evening. You're welcome.

I, however, refuse to go to bed until that smell is totally gone because I'm THAT paranoid. "What if it was just a freak coincidence that the straw was melting at the same time??"

Soon I'll write about how frazzled I am about this move we're doing in less than 3 weeks. I feel like I should be running around frantically packing stuff..but then I catch myself and say "hey, don't pack things anymore. That was a long time ago and it can't hurt you ever again. Now..go have a lovely fruit chunk popsicle"..but there are thinngggsss I need to do! I must be sure to have THINGS for our 3-ish week (or longer *shudder*) stay in a hotel! I must make sure not to let them pack anything I'll absolutely need in the 90 days it'll take to get all of our stuff! And seriously..why in the balls does it take 30-90 days to get ANYTHING anymore? They just gonna bypass the Panama Canal and do it old school? Explain it all you want..I'll never get it.

But that's for another time.


YogaNana said...

We're going to rest easier knowing you've been checked out thoroughly and nothing is actually burning. :o)

Sarah said...

Glad everything turned out safe and sound! I did get a little bit of the chuckles while reading about your little adventure though.

chelsea said... girl man I swear...although it can't be as bad as me actually smelling fire here and i just called oh least your first instinct was to actually call dumbass would have burned waiting for Glad to know all is fine...I have no clue any of that was going on...I was in bed watching cartoons with the kids till 8:30 then just fell asleep myself. Damn Kevin for being in the bored when no one calls now. Oh and be calm about the really don't have to even worry about what your keeping out till the day the movers are supposed to be there...cuz they'll ask you want all to take, and you can just set aside right there what you want left, and they'll leave it. So no worries lady...