Wednesday, June 11, 2008


I've been putting this off because it's post number 500..and well, I don't think I could come up with 500 things most people don't know about me (unless you really know nothing about me at all..) and I don't even wanna try.

I'll tell you something though..I've never ever chopped an onion in my life. I've bought them..but have always opted out of using them. There..that should hold you over for a while.

So..I have pictures instead..because I'm just an old beaten down woman. There are so many things I wish I could say but I just can't seem to find the words. I sat with Orion for about an hour after he came home tonight just talking and talking and crying and crying because I feel so helpless. I needed a good cry and who better to cry with than the person who understands you the most? It's just been one of those days, ya know?

Afterwards, I went out to get my blood pressure checked. Probably not the best idea what with the day's events..but I'm supposed to go no excuses. 157/103. Yeah..I know. I've been feeling like I'm about to stroke out or something but what can I do short of grabbing a doctor here by the throat and shaking them while screaming that I need to be put on some frickin medication already? We've all noticed over the last 3 YEARS my blood pressure has been super super high and meds. I don't know. People stress me out and Orion's been doing his best to have me just breathe and relax.

I'm just exhausted. Back to the pictures:

I's got a ball!

I's got a bus!

I know it's kinda weird..but I like this picture so hush

Maddox in the middle of being chased by Briana. She's in love with him. He's not so much in love with her. He's into boy things right now..and older women. Not so much anyone near his own age. So every time she climbs on him and hugs and kisses all over him and he just rejects reminds me of The Sword in the Stone..ya know..the fat squirrel and Merlin scene? teehee

Calix and Alana cuddling and checking out a sweet book

My days can be pretty awful sometimes..or at least *feel* that way..but life can't be SO bad if I have two of the coolest kids ever, right? Right.


YogaNana said...

The pictures look like you had a great day. What was so wrong?

And you tell those people to put you on some meds. You might want to try Hawthorne until (and even after) they do. Oh, and petting a cat. What? You have no cat?

When you get to Hawaii: cat. :o)

Sarah said...

Aww!! Abby! I wish you lived here-ish, so you'd have some family who could take your kiddos off your hands for a few hours so you could have some R&R! Send them out. We'll keep those cute little guys for you for a couple days! Not that they are what's stressing you our or whatever, but sometimes we really just need some time to be alone.

Those pics are adorable! I love the way you make them all b&w except their do you do that?!

chelsea said...

Shitty that nothing is getting done about that blood do need to just flat out say(yell if need be) that you NEED to be put on medication for that, cuz obviously there's something wrong with this picture...and if need be print out proof from like webmd that you'd meds for that problem, and bring them that and show them that you're not stupid and KNOW you need them. They will fuck you over as often as they can at that hospital. Your moms right...cats are a must....:) Damn allergys

Jenna Consolo said...

Abby dear, I feel that way too sometimes, at least what I think is similar, where I can't quite put my finger on it, but life just seems to be pressing down so hard. Crying helps me too. So does talking. I'm with Sarah, I wish we all could live closer so we could be more of a physical support to each other. But I can at least send you buckets o' love!

Hannah said...

Poor Abs. You are such a good Mama and that's hard work. Did something happen that day to get you so down?

Have you had an appointment to deal with the depression thing?

I love you Abby. Hang in there.

Abby said...

When I get to Hawaii: cat. Oh, I know..I *know*. I've been begging for a cat for quite some time now..and it's been agreed upon that when we get to Hawaii: cat. I've been checking out their Humane Society webpages to get an idea of what kind of a kitty I can get. They have one that looks just like Sassy..but she's 11 years old.