I love that he brings a burp cloth with him everywhere. If I forget one? Don't worry..he's most likely grasping onto one already. Kind of like a small security blanket.
I love how his hair's finally starting to grow on top and it's just a field of white fuzz.
All crazy like hahaha
I was looking through my Livejournal a few days ago..and I kept coming across pictures of Calix when he was around Maddox's age
And I swear to you..if it wasn't Orion in the picture with him..I seriously would have thought that was Maddox.
I won't lie when I say yesterday I was a little less than pleased. It was a rough one..lemme tell ya. And I know.. I knowwww I bitch too much..but jeeze! I didn't get *anything* done yesterday. Why? Because Mr. Maddox? Insisted on being held or he would open the gates of screaming. He also wouldn't take any naps. At all. He'd fall asleep..I'd put him down..he'd wake up and scream..and that's exactly how it went ALL day! It was just frustrating, really. I was getting so irritated..I could feel myself about to freak out "I'm going to scream", I said..and it kept building..and building..and I tried to stop it, I really did..but right then and there..sitting on the couch.. I *screamed*. I screamed so hard my throat still hurts today. It probably sounded like someone was getting murdered over here. I mean..I'm serious when I say it was a true contender for a horror movie. Tears immediately followed. I cried and cried and cried some more. Saying how I'm not cut out for this..and about how tired I am..I'm just so *tired* and saying how I'm just so sick of being a single parent right now. I need a break. No. I need a vacation.
A vacation away from the kids. And at this point, I'm not sure if I would take Orion with me on that vacation. I just want to be alone. Alone with my thoughts and my tears. A week, at most, where I only have to worry about myself. If I choose to sleep all day? I choose to sleep all day. When I'm hungry, I can eat..and I want it to be delicious..different food. I just have these dreams, man. I really do. I need to be selfish for a few days. I just need to be Abby again..and not someone's mom..or abandoned wife. I want to bask in the sun with some kind of an icy, fruity..preferrably alcoholic drink in hand..and read as much as I want without having to put it down to feed or change a kid. I'm just really craving me time...and dammit, I think I deserve it.
That's something that'll always be a dream though. My life will never provide such a vacation for myself.
7 comments:
hey abbo-- come to miami at one point this summer. i mean you'd have to bring the kids but i'd help and i'm sure my dad's housekeeper would too and we could drink alcoholic drinks by the pool :) seriously!
there's tam's offer ... or you could just keep planning for the day the kids are raised. :o)
Tama..right..I'm so sure I'm going to be taking my large ass to Miami and seriously get into a swimsuit in front of one of the thinnest most beautiful girls on the freaking planet. No. Effing. Way. Oh dude.. I'm so totally posting pictures of what having 2 kids and not working the weight off does to your body tomorrow. Oooo..it's gonna be frightening.
and mama..Orion and I are *hopefully* going to take a cruise when he gets home. A vacation..and honeymoon type thing all wrapped into one. We found a cruise package thingy that'll allow us to take both boys..as young as they'll be..and they'll have things to keep them entertained. And then there's still the possibility of us moving to Hawaii..so..I suppose part of my sun basking..drink holding..dream can be lived out there. Meh..ya neva know.
Hey Abs, much of what you feel I have felt too. The world of young babies and children feels like it will consume your life forever....but they do grow up and become more independent, and you won't have to wait too long for some "me" time. You do deserve it. Single parenthood is VERY hard. Count the blessing of having your finances taken care of. Oh, and Conor totally does the same thing with those burp cloths, like a mini security blanket. He loves to hold one in his fist and rub it on his cheek while he sucks his thumb. So cute! Thanks, Raelene!
They really do look alike! I don't know how you do it all by yourself. I really admire you. :)
ab- oh psht. look-- my dad's pool has no one there except me, and my body would look a bit thicker too if i'd just busted out two kids. noone is judging!!
maybe we can arrange it so i come to KY to help you with the flight or sometihng. don't calix and maddox fly for free at this point? at least maddox does for sure.
i think you should consider it :)
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