We showed up a cool 5 minutes early..I checked in. The receptionist then had me go get weighed (ya'll..I don't wanna talk about it.) and then sent me down the hallway to see Lynn. Walked in..and she was like "Uh, Sir..will you please take the child down to the waiting room" I was all "Um..aren't we here for an ultrasound?" "paperwork" "we did that last time" "what's your last name?" and I told her..she sighed heavily and then told us to go back down the hallway and tell them I'm actually here for a physical. Okayyyyy. SO..back into the weighing room for blood pressure. I passed. Barely. 126/83..or something along those lines. Went back dowwwnnnn the hallway to see Lynn again.. did the ultrasound (and lemme tell ya..she's very quick about it. Thanks for the blurry picture. Thanks.). I was determined to connect with the baby this time..hopefully get a little teary or SOMETHING.
Lynn doesn't have time for you to get teary and appreciate what you're seeing.
I don't have my scanner anymore..seeings as I gave it to Noah before leaving Colorado. However, I did my best to take a picture of the little person (sorry it's so terrible!):
Got ushered into another room where the nurse literally said "time to get naked". Sexy. Put my gown on..then the doctor came in. She happened to also be in the elevator with us on the way up..so that's funny. Did the talking thing for a while. Discussed abnormalities..or the lack thereof..in our families. Pretty standard stuff. I asked her what the chances are of me having preeclampsia again..and she said very small..especially seeings as it's the same father for both babies (though she was looking at me..probably waiting for me to disprove that one. "Eh..paternity test still pending"? geeze. I'm no floozy.)..but we're going to keep a close eye on everything for the remainder of the pregnancy. I get to do another 24 hour urine collection (that's right, kids.. GET TO) like I did with Calix..but this collection's going on about 20 weeks earlier. So that's cool.
I suddenly went off on this like..string of just..whhaaatttt? Out of nowhere! She asked why Calix was premature..and then I went on with my theory about how Dr. Cohen ruptured me..putting me into labor the same day as my pelvic exam. Hmmm..little fishy! Swear to shit..if ANYTHING was wrong with my child, I would have sued the pants off of that man.
It was embarrassing. Orion was looking at me the whole time like 'Cuddle..stop..come on..stop..' but I couldn't.. it just kept coming out!
She looked at me like I was crazy.
I also mentioned the high risk HPV thing..and she said she'd look for that, too. See if it went away on its own or not. Then it came time for the pelvic.
You might think I'm sick..because I actually laugh during these. I can't help it..it tickles. She was digging harrddd with those lil duckbilled thingies. Then? She said "You have no cervix!". What?!?! My mind was *screaming* 'omg omg omg.. I do have cancer!! It ate my cervix!!!' and then she said "just kidding..you just have a long vagina" or something. She also said "with a pelvis like yours..we should be able to get a fairly good sized baby out of you!" and then added while looking at Calix "well, we'll try to anyway.". Geeeee..thankssssssssssss.
We talked for a really long time. And then she went to listen to the baby's heartbeat. She tried and tried..and nothing. She sent me back to the ultrasound room. I'm just thinking 'but I *saw* the heart beating'. I guess she got a little confused and thought the picture she saw was an earlier photo of the lil person..and just wanted to make sure the kid was actually alive.
Got sent to her office. I brought up the painful sex thing..she said it was probably hormones. But then? She actually said "but you won't have to worry about painful sex too much longer" in reference to Orion being deployed. Holy OUCH!!! ::hangs head:: I don't like it. She gave me instructions on what to do about all of this nausea. Unisom and Vitamin b-6. Hmm.
Then she broke it to me and told me I'm only allowed to gain about 20 pounds with this one. That'd be super nice. (again..I let it slip about the abortion and weight thing. I can't help it!!!)
Headed down to the lab to do some bloodwork and pick up my oh so beautiful red piss container and toilet hat. Ah, yes..the hat. On our way to the lab, Orion decided to push all of the elevator buttons. Yeah..there was a woman waiting for the elevator when we got off. I'm looking around at the signs trying to figure out which way the lab is..and I hear her get on..look at all of the floors lit up..and she says "Too many lights!" and gets off.
Orion and I laughed about that one for the next half hour.
I know I'm leaving out a lot..because we were there for 2 hours. but whatever..you get the idea.
2 comments:
And how far along are you exactly????
Oh, I can't believe she said that about the "no painful sex" part. Good grief.
Glad everything is ok! And You crack me up with the "laugh during an exam" bit. Heh. I talk non stop and blush profusely. :-)
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