Thursday, October 09, 2008

Tomorrow we go private

This is the last time I'm going to say this. If you would like to continue to read..e-mail me your e-mail address at because tomorrow..we go private.

The Huz has a 4 day weekend..and a half day today. I'm feeling better today..but I'm sneezing randomly..not that that has anything to do with the other thing but ya know. I hate sneezing. I'm still n
ot fond of having my last few hours of sleep all sorts of disturbed and then being expected to get up and take care of everyone and everything. Maddox woke me up at 4:43. I loathe getting up around that time to do anything because I actually wake up and CANNOT for the life of me get back to sleep. Orion's alarm went off at 5:30..I was still up but trying with all of my might to just get a tiny bit more sleep. He left his phone here on accident and he was getting text messages from late soldiers between 6 and 6:10. I FINALLY drifted off to sleep and around 6:28 the Navy started with their little navy song (we technically live in navy housing on the peninsula. There are huge ships literally docked at the end of my street all the time.) and then reveille started and uggghhhhh that just about always wakes up my kids. So..6:30 Calix is literally screaming from his room for me "MOMMY!!!!! MOMMY I UP!!!!!! MOMMYYYYYYY!!!!!! MADDOX???? MADDOX YOU UP???!!!! MOMMY!!!!!!!!" and it's like..shh..let me go potty first. And by the time I put glasses on (contacts in tired eyes is not fun) and clothes on and actually go potty..the kid is crying. He's crying because in the minute it took me to get out of bed and do all of that..he feels abandoned or something. I ever NOT get you out of bed with a cheery and clappy "gooooodddd morning! good morning! good morning little baby! good morning..good youuuuu!!!" do I? I do EVERY day and you know it.

Just saying. So I guess I'm angry and complain too much. I just have so much to do today and I can't STAND feeling like I'm dragging my body along with me in order to get everything done. My eyes just want to close..oh sweet sleepy bliss. But again, a 4 day weekend and I hate doing too much cleaning when he's home like that. I like to just pick up after us instead of pulling out the cleansers. So..I have a couple of loads of laundry and vacuuming to do (I've been sick and dying and vomiting all the house can suck it.) and I want to finally get the rest of those wallies up in Maddox's room and clean both bathrooms..and maybe make our bed (that's probably the one and only basic thing I don't do on the daily. I admit it.).

I have an appointment on Wednesday for this whole thing that's been going on (had to get a referral and the doctor they referred me to only comes in on Wednesdays and he was booked till the 26th of I needed a new referral to someone else. I had to fight with the receptionist on the phone too. Literally). I hate that I'm waiting so long for them to tell me whether I'm even able to have anymore babies (basically..they think my uterus is like..disintegrating. Losing all of the lining on my walls)..waiting for them to please tell me I don't really have uterine cancer and this whole thing can be fixed. It's all just so frustrating. And my body hurts. It aches and aches and there's not much I can do. I'm trying to adjust myself to being ready to hear those words. And *IF* they do come out..I'm just glad I already have my two boys and I swear I won't take them for granted ever again.

Ugh, I feel like crying.


YogaNana said...

Keep on hanging in. That's what we do, isn't it? I'll be glad to hear the results, too, and once they know what's happening, then they can figure out how to fix it.


Jenna Consolo said...

Seems like so many of us are just really in the pits right now. I'm so sorry for you, Abby. For your worries, for your stress, for your anxieties, for your aches and pains, and even for your sleepiness (I understand that oh, so well!) I hope you get some answers soon. In the meantime, here's some love. xoxox!

Anonymous said...