Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Doc "updates"

So. I don't know why they referred me to an outside doctor to tell me something that was pretty obvious. Those couple of weeks of me worrying my ass off..all for nothing. Maybe nothing. Probably nothing.

If you looked at my symptoms you would probably tell me I was just pregnant. I was beginning to believe it myself. What if I were pregnant with like..triplets or quads and and and I'm randomly just losing a baby here and there because I'm still taking my birth control and yeah, I drink on the weekends. Maybe? I was seriously starting to believe it.

Until, that is, they had me write my name on a cup and then pee into it. They did another pregnancy test because I was never given the results of the last one..probably because it was negative because this one was also negative. A doctor came in to see me..and let me tell you something, okay? I'm a chick. When we chicks go to the gyno..we get all dressed up and ya know..prepared. I even repainted my toenails, okay?? I blow dried AND straightened my hair at a super early hour!!

So this doctor man comes in and talks to me for like..5 minutes. Feels my tummy and is all "not pregnant. Don't even need to do ultrasound. The birth control you're on is doing this to you. Nausea you say? Are you taking your Prilosec? I'll give you something for nausea anyway and also a new birth control pill prescription and if this is still going on in a month, come see me"

I wanted to scream and tell him he had to get me naked because DUDE..I went through ALL of this emotional pain and you're not even going to fully examine me?? Get me a gown!!


Look, it's not that I'm a pervert..even though I am slightly..it's just that I don't go full out getting ready for things anymore unless it's like..my anniversary or birthday and even the latter is a maybe situation.



So I guess I'll be taking a new pill for a month and if I'm still bleeding as viciously as I have been..I will march back in there with my pants down and insist they please check out an older version of what the stork saw because WTF????


I said it.

5 comments:

YogaNana said...

Well, I know we all look forward to the next chapter ...

Hannah said...

What pill were you on?

I had the same things happening to me when I was put on Yaz. It was supposed to make it so I had a 3 day period, instead they were 2 weeks long with maybe 1 week in between. It was horrible. I got off the pill over a year ago and have been happy ever since. Sure you have to be more careful so as not to get pregnant unexpectedly but I just didn't think forcing hormones into my body was something I wanted to do any longer.

I hope they can get this figured out for you Abs.

Abby said...

Norethindrone. My doctors back in Kentucky thought that maybe the estrogen was giving me the high blood pressure so they put me on a pill without any. It's the same pill women usually take after they have a baby and/or are still breastfeeding.

I thought that *maybe* that was the problem..but I've been taking this pill for almost a year now and it didn't even occur to me until the other day that I quit using it for a little while when we were talking about a 3rd baby before I came to my senses and then started back up on it when we were staying at the hotel and THAT'S when the problems started.


It'll be nice to not NEED to buy tampons and pads at Sam's Club anymore just because I go through them so fast, know what I'm sayin? Shoot.

Jenna Consolo said...

Abby, you're funny. I know just what you mean. All those years I was single, the gyno was the only action I got, so I looked forward to it too. All "ready". I know what you mean. Painted toenails and all.

Have you ever tried NuvaRing?

Abby said...

They tried to talk me into the NuvaRing last time and I'm just not interested. As much as I looovveee stripping down for doctors (I don't *really*)..I'm not into showing up every month so they can change it. It's just too much of a hassle (that and it's all over lawyer commercials now and I'm like..nooooo!!). And I'm terrified of an IUD because I have friends who've gotten them and had horrible problems..so I'm not about to venture there, either. And I would do the..go without anything thing..but we have way too much sex to NOT use something..so pills it is, I suppose. Just for another year or so and then BAM baby number 3 and then BAM tubes tied.

Ya know..in theory.