Saturday, August 23, 2008

Some thoughts

I'm trying to make a better effort in making valuable friends this time around. I tend to let the social vampires into my life and they end up *draining* me. I'll be perky and doing all of these things..until they come around and all I want to do is sleep. It's a horrible feeling and I don't want to make those same mistakes here.

I'm not into associating with people who talk a lot of trash about your family. Not into it at all..especially when they've never met..or know *anything* about them. It's like..who do you think you are? It's a ballsy move towards someone who, regardless of how she feels about whatever member of her family at whatever time, has the utmost loyalty towards them at all times. That sort of thing is a relationship destroyer for me. That's the number one thing I've had happen..not once..but a few times. I just wish people would take a look at their own dysfunctional families before they start on yours.

It feels good to have shaken someone off who you cried and cried about being so miserable around for so many months. At this point, I don't even care if I hurt feelings..I need to be more honest with myself when it comes to making and then dropping friends. I can't continue friendships just because we're too far into it to really do anything about it. It either works or it doesn't. I've been doing a great job of being outspoken so far out here...and you'd better believe it's going to continue.

I still feel all kinds of horrible about the time I let a friend come spend Christmas with us because her family went out of town without her..and my brothers disliked her so much they didn't even want to hang around all day and instead asked my mother to take them home. At the time, I felt so torn between loyalty towards the fam and doing something nice for someone who, otherwise, would have been all alone on Christmas. I mean..who wants to be alone on *CHRISTMAS*? Not me. But there were things I should have taken into account before I made that move.

I tend to make the same sort of friend, for whatever reason, all the time. I need to stop doing that. A new family moved in last night while husband and I were outside loading music into the van's system and just generally playing around with it. They seem nice. I guess they're navy because they just came from being stationed in NJ. The wife didn't say much..but I saw the hopeful sparkle in her eyes. It's neat to be new here and get new neighbors at the same time. It's a fresh start.

I'm also going to make a better effort in attending all of the get togethers Orion's unit has..and make my rounds in getting to know people instead of sticking to the one or 2 people I already know. That's where mistakes are made.

Well, after breakfast, we're all gonna load up into the van and head to the north shore for the day.


Saint Holiday said...

Your personal evolution continues. New scenery, new consciousness. I'm delighted for you. I think it's rare to find a perfect friend, and when we do find one, we should treat that friend as a precious gift. Some of the people who pass through our lives are truly corrosive. I've met my share. I want to be kind and gentle to everyone, but I need to protect my serenity, what little there is. It's an art of balancing, I think. Some are sent to us, because we have the particular skill/love/word needed at the time. I love you. I'm admiring you more and more. Give my love to the Hero and to the young ones.

hilary said...

It's hard making new friends; we've all been there. But duuuude, you're Abby! You're probably the most super-cool chic I know. I bet it's going to be easier than you think! :)

Jenna Consolo said...

Thank you, Abby. I know at least part of that loyalty has been for me, and I can't tell you how much it means to me.

Love you.