Sunday, September 09, 2007


I had a dream last night (or this morning, rather) that "The Guys" rang my doorbell and told me Orion died..but that also? They weren't 100% sure. He was mostly just missing. A flag randomly appeared attached between my screen door and front door and I raised it to half mast. Then I went out to get a tattoo that said "Mrs. D" (probably because I'm actually considering that)..but changed my mind and went out for alcohol instead. So..that's weird.

I think this is what happens when I go days without speaking to him and my mind races around "assuming the worst" (ya know.. a total of 2 people have said that to me over the past few months. Do I really always assume the worst? Because I always thought I was fairly positive about things. If I *do* assume the worst.. I think it might be better to put those options out there..along with the positive so I'm not hurt/surprised when that outcome happens. I think that's a fairly healthy and natural way to look at things. See the positive..but accept that there can be a negative.) because you just never know. I know he's safe and all of that for the most part..but there's ALWAYS a chance and that chance scares the daylights out of me. I've been making too many promises to Maddox (who doesn't know his daddy like Calix does..not that Calix remembers him much, I'm sure..but still) about what's going to happen and "hey, your daddy is so much fun and you're just going to love him." must come home.

Also..husband should call home at some point because wife = sad.


YogaNana said...

Yeah, he should call.

The potential danger of being in a war zone is pretty obvious, while we take for granted the dangers of freeways, snipers, crazed fellow employees, random disease mutations, natural disasters, and the neighbor's pit bulls. Orion is probably less at risk right now than anyone living in NYC, but yeah -- he should call.

Abby said...

he would if he could..but he can't. The communications center there has been down for a few days now..and only randomly does the internet work. It's supposed to be being fixed..but who knows how long that'll take. For now, we'll just have e-mail..and that's, ya know, only when it's working. It's pretty stupid, I know..but at least I know he's not one of those guys who DOESN'T want to call home. He knows how I worry. :)