Monday, April 30, 2007

Day..oh crap..umm..Day 71!

Today I've mostly been thinking about going to get a hysterectomy. As much as I want to try for a girl..I'm soooo scared that it'll be another boy..and well, for me? These two? Are just too much. I also don't know that I ever want to go through the toddler phase with anymore kids..EVER (seriously? today at WIC? Calix threw a tantrum for NO REASON! Just randomly started screaming and hitting me and EVERYONE WAS STARING!! I. was. mortified.). I mean..I'll go through it with Maddox because he's nowhere near as hardcore as Calix is (and yes, I can already tell). I just...I don't know. I don't want to spend so much time changing diapers and all of that. I just want them to be a couple of years older and more fun..and I want to be done with babies and just..do family stuff. I don't think anyone can quite understand how much I *ache* for a girl..but it's just such a gamble!

Also? And I'll be totally honest when I say this. I want a tummy tuck. Like..NOW. I don't want to wait until we decide *if* we're going to have anymore kids at any point..I want a final decision and I want it done! And I feel like..it's my uterus..my vagina..my choice (not that O's pressuring for anymore kids haha..no..that's why this decision's so hard. We're both fine and happy with the 2 little guys). There...I said it. It's all in vain (get it? hahaha..knee slapper!!).

Let me just write out the words to the song I've been singing around the house for the past few days..because it makes Maddox crack up every time.

(sung to the tune of "Little Playmate" ya know..that like..hand game from elementry school?)

"Oh little Maddox, you are my baby boy
I have another boy..but you're my smaller boy
if I have another boy..then I may run away
And the 3 of you..can be raised by your dad!"

Bahh hahahah. Seriously.

7 comments:

Hilary said...

Well... I say don't make any decisions about the hysterectomy just yet. Maybe after both of your babies are out of diapers for a while, and Orion is back from deployment for a while, it will be time to try for a girl. You can’t get your tubes tied until you are 25 (I don’t know if it’s a CA thing or not, I just know that doctors won’t do it if you’re under 25) and I imagine that since a hysterectomy is a bit more.... permanent, that there may be an age requirement on that as well.

As for the tummy tuck? I say go for it. Even if/when you get pregnant again, I don't think it would really do any much damage to your stomach again. Especially since you only gained 20lbs with Maddox. From what I understand, the only reason you gained so much weight with Calix was because of the preeclampsia. And since you didn't get that with Maddox, it’s probably safe to assume that you wouldn't get it with your 3rd baby. So yeah, I think the tummy tuck would be awesome! Props to you for being willing to go through the whole surgery thing.

But hey, what do I know? I just think a little Abby would be like… the greatest thing ever!

Abby said...

Well..I'm not too far off from 25, ya know. 6 more months. OH MY GOSH! Hehehe. I don't know...I think I'd prefer to adopt a girl, ya know? I mean..as much as I'd love one of my own.. I just don't know that I ever ever want to go through another pregnancy..and labor (not that it's been such a big deal on me..but still)..and healing..and just..the whole mess that comes with it. I just want to start doing family things and not have to worry about restrictions and all of that because I'm pregnant. I also totally don't want to spend large chunks of my life pregnant, either. I just..well.. I think I'm done.

Also? I mean..I know I haven't done soooo much research on it..but I always thought you couldn't have a tummy tuck if you were planning on having any more kids..?

Eh..so..Orion and I are talking about it..and we think we may end up trying to adopt in a few years if we still want a 3rd child. I just figure there are so many babies in the world who need homes..why not make one of them a part of our family? We'll see though.

In a few years..I may find myself pregnant and totally regret everything I said in here..but for now..this is just how I feel.

tamara said...

i think adopting is a wonderful option, but the problem is that it is expensive as hell

tamara said...

ps- my sister brisa got a tummy tuck and now she wants another kid, so it's possible!

Jenna said...

I agree with Hilary. Never make life-altering decisions when you're in the thick of a stressful situation. You have two babies very close together, you're postpartum, and your husband is overseas. Good grief, girl! I felt the same way about sick of kids, diapers, poop, etc. when Lyns and Dylan were little, but once they got older a new baby was a welcome addition. And then another.... And we did lots of family things. Being pregnant and having babies doesn't keep you from doing family things, just having your oldest BE a baby keeps you from doing family things. Take it easy on yourself. Also, even if you DID decide later on to do something, why not just a tubal instead of a hysterectomy? Goodness!

Abby said...

why is it that everyone feels the need to rip me a new one? Like..in the sweetest ways possible and all of that..but golly gee! Do ya'll love my kids *that* much that you just oh so need me to have more? AHHHHH!!! I mean..it's all birth control now (because yo..I get pregnant just looking at Orion haha)..and it'll be that way for at least a few more years yet. Jenna, you're right in saying there's too much going on right now to even consider another baby..even though I *kind of* want one..just..nowhere near anytime soon. I don't know..I'm just tossing ideas around. We'll see. Some days it's like..ahhhh I NEED another baby!! and others it's like who am I kidding? There's no way I could handle another kid..and even when they get older..3 teenagers? THREE??!!! And then my head basically explodes.

Hilary said...

aww I wasn't trying to rip you a new one... I just think a little Abby would be awesome. I guess all I was trying to say is that because I'm your friend, I support any decisions you make, BUT I also don't want you to look back in 5 years and have any regrets.