Saturday, March 17, 2007

It's kind of just been one of those bad news days.

Those super cute shoes I bought a few days ago arrived that was a plus..until I saw they sent me the wrong size. Way to torture a girl.

And then I opened one of those letters I had to sign for. I have to call and make an appointment for Maddox on Monday (gee, way to give me this kind of a letter on a SATURDAY!!) It's the kind of letter that eats at you because you need to know..and you can't call for a couple more days. It's one of those letters where I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. Not that I haven't been doing a fair bit of crying already. I just feel like..crumbling.

The letter? Said he might be mentally retarded. My heart breaks all over again every time I think about it..and my tears? Come with those whimpering cries. Those helpless..oh my god NO!! cries. It can't be just can't be. I need Orion so much right now.

It says he needs to be retested because the test might be wrong or something..but I, of course, cannot call and schedule it for as soon as I can..because it's SATURDAY!

I can't breathe and I feel like vomiting.


YogaNana said...

Of course we talked about this on the phone today. I think they picked a stinky way to notify you, I think the wording is vague, and I totally understand your anxiety. Did they mention PKU? In any case, go read this:

It helps, I think, to have a name for something, rather than wondering. And do keep in mind that I got sent for additional tests because the doctor thought Jonah was dead in utero. He wasn't. :o)


tamara said...

i'm sorry abby, i can't think of such a horrific way and DAY to notify you about something of this severity. if it is PKU though, you just need to put him on a vegan diet (except no beans) and he'll be okay. please let us know asap what you hear. maddox is in both nick and i's thoughts. good luck <3

Abby said...

..if I put Maddox on a vegan diet..what would he eat? All he consumes is "milk". I mean..I guess there's the soy formula option...

woollywench said...

I've been out of the 'new baby' loop for 21 years, but back then there was a special formula that they used, something powdered and mixed like any other formula. Soon it will be Monday and you can get some better info.

tamara said...

yup, there's a special formula and there's all types of baby food that are phenylalanine free.

if it ends up being PKU i can direct you to some great resources for snack ideas (i know, i know, he's like a day old.. chill tam)