My face is still red and blotchy from all of the crying I was just doing while going over what happened at the doctor's this morning over the phone with my husband.
I woke up at 7:30..all sorts of excited for my ultrasound at 10:15..showered, ate breakfast, got ready and drank an effload of water and orange juice to be sure I'd have a full bladder for the ultrasound. Calix and I headed out the door around 9:45. Enough time to get there and still be there 15-20 minutes early because that's how I roll. It was MY day..I was going to badger the crap out of the technician till they told me the sex of the baby. I pulled into the Expectant Mothers parking..pulled the stroller out and plopped Calix in it while talking to some lady and her husband who were parked next to me. She wished me luck and I was off. Strutted through the hospital like I owned the place..I just felt good. SO excited! Rolled Calix into the elevator and hit the "1" button...then made my way down to Radiology.
I walked through the ultrasounds door and told them I had an appointment for 10:15. The guy behind the counter looked a little worried but was still joking around about them canceling all appointments for the day. And that's when it happened. The technician or whatever she was turned around..and saw I had Calix with me then said "do you have someone to watch him?" "no.." "do you have any family out here?" "nu uh" (to that I'd just like to say..I'm a soldier's fucking WIFE..do you think I drag family around with me??) "do you have any friends?" "no.." "you don't have any friends??" "nope.." and then she looked at me like I was an idiot and said "well, kids aren't allowed in here" "I didn't know that..I'm sorry. No one'd told me not to bring him..and my husband's not home so.. I mean..if you want to reschedule we can do that for a time he is here and can watch him..". And I'm starting to feel all shy and just embarrassed and so I leab down to get Calix some cereal and I start sniffling and I'm telling myself not to cry 'don't cry..stop it. you're being silly..just stop' but I couldn't. She then told me to go wait in the waiting room..so I did. I sat down in the back behind a pillar so none of the soldiers could see me weeping..but I guess being the only female in the room with a child and am obviously upset about something..they ALL started staring at me. Like..I know I say people stare at me all the time..but these guys weren't trying to hide it. I had tears streaming down my face and I'm mumbling how the lady's such a bitch and I'm wiping tears and mumbling bad words and everyone's staring at me like they want to know if I'm okay but no one's asking. Calix reached out his little hand and held onto one of my fingers while staring up at me because ya know..my kid can tell his mommy's so upset..and so that made me cry even harder..and they're the kinds of tears that you don't want to come out..the ones you try to hide..so then it makes your head all foggy and you're sniffly and just feel so silly for crying at all.
Then she called me back and all of the guys watched me get up and walk into the room. Perhaps they all wanted to know what caused the tears..perhaps they were thinking about their own wives at that point and what would make her cry like that before getting an ultrasound..I don't know. I poured out some Life cereal for Calix to munch on and she had me lay down..pull up my shirt and lower my pants a bit. She then says "if he starts complaining, I'm going to have to stop and make you leave because I just won't deal with that" but it's morning..he'd just woken up..and the kid's eating cereal. He'll be good.. I know him. Again, I apologized and told her that when I called for an appointment, no one had told me I wasn't allowed to bring my child..otherwise I wouldn't have scheduled it for a time Orion couldn't be there..because please, I'm just not that kind of person. She ignored me and then continued doing what she was doing. I watched the screen the whole time and wanted to ask if everything looked normal..but it was so awkward at that point that I just couldn't ask. About 15 minutes into the u/s, Calix finishes his cereal and says "done" and I tell him mommy will get him more cereal in a little bit..but to please be a good boy a few minutes longer. He then starts talking to himself.."adadadadd" and I chuckle and tell him daddy's in Wyoming..but he's in no way complaining or even being loud..just being a cute kid. She then stops and tells me she needs to reschedule me for 3 weeks from today because "you're only 19 weeks along" "yeah, I'd told the guy that I'd only be 19 weeks when he scheduled me.." "well I mean, I can barely see anything..I can't see the heart at all.. I can barely see the brain.. and I can't even tell if the spine's okay" (and let me just say..I saw the spine perfectly clear. I watched her find the stomach and the bladder and all of that. I. watched. her.) everything was in a snippy attitude..for nothing. Being a complete bitch to me. Okay..so I wiped my stomach off and left..because SERIOUSLY..it was AWKWARD. She rescheduled me for the 7th of November and wrote it on a piece of paper with big bold writing that said "DO NOT BRING CHILDREN!".
I felt so foggy the entire way home..and as soon as I'd calmed myself down, Orion called..and I broke out into tears all over again telling him everything she said and everything that happened and he was furious. He said there's no way I should ever ever get treated like that anywhere here. And that he was calling the hospital and putting in a complaint about her because how dare she make his wife feel so bad..and I told him I didn't really want to complain about it and he said if we didn't, what about the next girl that goes in there and cries because someone was so terrible to her? He told me he was sorry that he couldn't be here..and just generally felt awful that I'd had such a bad experience. I told him about how she bruised my ego..and made me feel like shit..and he asked if anyone even tried to console me..and I told him no..and that made him even angrier because come on, I'm hormonal as it is and here's this evil evil woman making me cry and not even saying she's sorry..and he said I should never have to explain myself like that..and that he's "ringing the bell on this" or something along those lines and that it will never happen again..and asked me if I knew her name and I said I was so embarrassed I couldn't even look at her face..but I knew she had blonde hair..and omg..what if this is the same lady who made Crystal feel like crap and told her her baby's too small..and I should totally ask Crystal.
Anyway..so no, I didn't get to find out the sex of the baby..because how do you even ask if they can tell after all of that?
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Hey it's Crystal. After I left the myspace comment I came over here to see if you had wrote about it yet! Yeah I stalk your journal! I love it! Dude you posted a picture of Calix's poo!! lol, but serious, I'm so freaking sorry! I should have complained maybe she would have been gone by now. What are you supposed to do with your son, your husband is gone, and if he wasn't I'm sure he would want to be there with you to find out at the same time. I didn't have any friends there, or here for that matter, and surely not someone that I would trust to leave my kid with. Come on his daddy is already gone, the last thing you want to do it leave him with someone he doesn't know and have him wondering if your coming back. Like I said on myspace, besides all the terrible stuff during the ultrasound she made us feel like there was no room in there for Ryan, and he's not a big person, he didn't take up that much room! Also I was trying to watch the screen, I had my head like all the way lifted up to see it, and the witch move the screen closer to her!!! She is a terrible, terrible lady. Let your husband go and complain, and if he needs to, he can tell them I had a bad experience with her too, but I didn't complain because that was my last time at the hospital because we PCS'ed two days later. I didn't feel like I could ask her if everything was ok with the baby, I told you I was scared because I never saw a profile or anything that looked like a baby, I thought she would really make me feel stupid if I asked something. And I didn't need her snipping at me anymore. I did have a great ultrasound here, this lady was so nice, I told her a little about the other ultrasound I had...towards the end...so she knew I was happy with her, and she told me I was having my baby at a good place. She said she would never talk bad about the place she worked, but she wouldn't say that unless it was true. I even felt comfortable enough to ask her a really stupid question!! lol, she asked me if I had just had high blood pressure since I've been pregnant of if it's been a problem. I told her it was only since being pregnant, and then asked her if there was something with the baby that she could tell I had high blood pressure!! lol, she was like "no, I looked at your chart before you came in!!!!" I felt stupid, but she didn't make me feel that way!
But I'm having a little problem with my doc! I have to wait in the room, not waiting room, for at least 30 mins for him to get in there, just to stay for 5 minutes and listen to the heartbeat, measure me, and ask the normal questions. Then he runs out of the room, gets a slip for the next appointment and usually sends me to the lab for more testing! I don't get to ask him any questions. Plus it's a guy, I've never had a guy do any female stuff, I think I'd get used to it a little better if he didn't wear the same uniform Ryan wears, he doesn't even wear a white coat over it! There is something I really NEED to talk to him about, I have a bacterial infection that lots of women get while pregnant. I got it at Knox a few times. They said if I kept getting it they would treat Ryan for it, so I didn't get it anymore. Well they didn't and I have it again, it can cause you to go into early labor, so I really need to talk to him about it, but he runs out of the room, literally, I can't get a question in. A few weeks ago after my appointment Ryan said he was going to ask to get some time off the next day to take me to the hospital to tell them about it, so I can ask. But I told him he couldn't because this is the guy that is going to deliver our baby, I don't want to complain about him, plus I'm a big girl so I should be able to ask myself, right. So I have an appointment on the 27th, Ryan is going to be doing a training/mission for three weeks so he can't go with me, so I'm going to have to chase this man out of the room to ask him to look at my crotch and give me some meds!!! lol! Yeah this is long, but I wanted to say sorry, and I know it has to be the same lady! Good thing she has nothing to do with OB on a regular basis, and I hope you get someone else to do it in three weeks! Actually, if I were you I'd let Orion call and ask to request they look up who did this one and tell them you want someone else to do it!
Ok I'll shut up now!
Hillybean,
Yeah, she was seriously a raging cunt. I also didn't understand why she was being so mean to my child...ya know, how dare anyone make my child feel unwanted..that's just the way I felt about it. He was in his stroller..I know his friggin routine and he's generally not a brat anyway..so then for her to threaten to cut it short if he made noise..come on, ridiculous. They do have daycare on post..but he's not signed up for it. at the moment I just don't feel a need for someone else to be watching my child when I'm more than capable..but yes, I suppose I should get him signed up because of things like this..it's just such a damned pain in the ass (seriously, you should see the forms and everything else they require of you before he can even 'get in').
Ya know.. I think to myself 'self..why didn't you just get up and leave? why didn't you tell her to not talk to you like that?' but I guess my shyness from my childhood came out and I just cowered..I mean..I was still hoping to get to find out the sex of the baby! Yeah, November 7th..I know.. but! I have a real OB/GYN appointment on the 30th of this month..and I'm not sure if they told me that's when I'll be able to find out or not..but blah, I'll still have to go in on the 7th for them to do the measuring. I just hope it's a different lady..for her sake..because O will be there..and he'll go off. he's like "you're the sweetest person and it's just not right for ANYONE to treat you that way" all of the guys in his unit (that know who I am) are all angry and totally have my back. awww.
Crystal,
That's cute that you "stalk" me haha..and honey, poop is motherhood. You'll know what I mean sooner than you think :).
I guess everyone just assumes I would put him in daycare..but like I said to Hilary, there's just no need for it right now. This has seriously been the first appointment I've ever had that I had to drag Calix along without Orion. I figured (silly me) Orion's leaving for a year in February and I'll have to lug 2 kids around with me everywhere without any help from anyone..so I might as well get used to it, ya know? Lemme tell ya..that lady today almost made me hate being a military wife (which, I think, is part of the reason why Orion got so angry..because we know as civilians on post no one's ever supposed to be so..mean to us. ya know, I personally think the wives are underappreciated. just sayin.). I mean..I'm sure that if I were to knock on the neighbor's door and ask that she watch him for a half an hour or so..she would have..but how awkward is that especially seeings as we've said a whole like..3 sentences to eachother the entire time I've lived here? Yes, Orion has a grandmother here..but an hour away..and I'll be damned if I'm driving 4 hours just to have someone watch my kid for 30 effing minutes.
So yeah, Orion called to complain..but my silly husband called up to OB/GYN and they gave him the name of the doctor that saw me about a week ago and I was like "nonono..she's so nice! I have no problems with any of the nurses or doctors up in OB..this was radiology..the ultrasound department" sooo..now I think Dr. Robins is wondering why we would complain about her..but yeah..so..He said he'd actually go to Ireland when he gets home to post a complaint because you have to do it in person anyway. And seriously..I don't wish bad things on many people.. I may have just said she was having a bad day..but now that I know it was the same lady you saw and you had a rough experience with her as well..who knows how many other people she's been a bitch to, ya know? I really don't think she should have a job in the baby department if she obviously doesn't like kids..or people for that matter. and what in the shit is up with the making Ryan feel bad for being in the room?!!?!? Eff it..on the 7th when I go back, Orion's coming with..and he'll watch over Calix and if she (if I happen to get that same woman..ugh) says anything I'm betting O will be all "No. I'm not leaving. This is MY wife and MY baby. I have every right to be here right now" I mean..I seriously don't know any husbands who don't want any part in pregnancies. The ultrasound room needs to be more accommodating to the husbands because they do have EVERY right to be there..especially when our guys have to take off of work for it (and we both know how hard that can be sometimes). And seriously? reevaluate who they have working for them!
So..you have PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension)? So did I with Calix..and at the 32 week mark it suddenly turned into preeclampsia and that's why Calix was 8 weeks premature. Be careful because you're getting around that point. What are your blood pressure numbers? do you remember at all? And may I suggest next time you go in you ask them to look for protein in your urine..just to be on the safe side? I dunno..it's a very scary thing to go through and I really don't wish it on anyone.
Ya know..I've only had female doctors with this pregnancy..but with Calix they were mostly men (plus my gyno back in those days was a 70 year old man) and I never really felt uncomfortable with them (except for one that I personally requested to never see again.). But, the civilian doctors I went to for my last pregnancy also did the whole..waiting in the room for 30 minutes and then seeing them and answering basic questions for 5 minutes (this is part of the reason why I'm asking you to please oh please have them check your urine again). I think it's because they were just always so busy. but honey, never shy away from asking them questions. perhaps the reason they only stay for 5 minutes is because they feel like it's all routine and you just never have any questions for them. SPEAK UP!
I also have that very same infection..and I've only gotten it before while pregnant..so yes, I know all about it..and it's NOT FUN at all. I was thinking about going into sick call in a couple of days if it's not better..so..we'll see! and if you don't feel comfy talking to this doctor of yours..or if you feel like you never get a chance to..there's ALWAYS time to switch doctors. A guy I didn't even know delivered Calix (no one else was around)..so please..if you don't feel comfy with him, request a new doctor. it's really no big deal and it happens ALL the time.
Okay..okay, that's all.. I swear!
It's Crystal! I saw Dr. Robins while I was there most of the time too, I really liked her! You shouldn't have to sign your child up for Daycare, your a stay at home mom, and there is a fee you have to pay to sign them up, and how often would you use it?
While we were there my blood pressure was "a little high" everytime, I don't think it was ever higher than 150/70's somewhere in the ragne, so it wasn't too bad. But there were still treating me as if I had PIH. When I came here we talked about all that when they were setting up my charts. I can't see a midwife or nurse practitioner since they are treating me as if I had PIH, so that's why I haven't worried about asking for a new doc, and I'm comfy with him, it's just that uniform, he needs to wear a white coat over it! I had my blood pressure checked when I did my chart it was a little high that time also, but she checked my weight before that (it hadn't been checked in 2 months because of the move), I had gained 20 pounds!!! I didn't realize it was that much and I don't deny that's what I weigh, but I will say that I think there is a difference between the scales there and here! But when I came for my first appointment, it was 128/68 or something like that, and I went there being VERY stressed, we had just moved in the house that day, and I was very disappointed with housing, I thought it would be super high! The last time I went it was 134/85 so the bottom number was a little high, but here they always have to tell me to uncross my legs because that's just what I do when I sit down. They never made me do that at Knox, they told me that can make your numbers go up, so I'm wondering if that's not why. But while at Knox I had to do the 24 hour urine collection so they had something to compair it to later if they needed. At my last appointment he had me collect it again, I'll find out about that next week when I go.
Also when I did the 28ish week one hour glucose test it came back "a little high" so I had to go back and do a lovely 4 hour one! Thank goodness it came back ok, so no GB!!!
Gosh pregnancy is stressful! Even more so when you're a Military Wife, shit is always changing! I remember just how you are feeling, I was so happy and excited to find out what the baby was, even the purple book says you will be able to find out now! But that lady made me so upset telling me she couldn't tell. She told me that right away, so I think she just gets off on making us upset!
Damn, Abby. That sucks. :(
I hadn't read my blogs on Bloglines for ages but I caught up with stuff this weekend. I'm glad everything is going as well as can be.
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