Merchantville :(

I'm feeling so sad. While it's nice to stumble upon people you knew and oh so loved growing up with in Jersey (yo, seriously? I had a really fun childhood)..it makes me sad. Maybe because I feel like (okay, and I did) I missed so much. Maybe because I'm angry that we ever left Jersey..though grateful for the other experiences I had. But a lot of those kids? Were my heart..and a lot of them still are. I just don't think they know it. Honestly though..if I didn't care..would I search for them on myspace? I found 4 more people today..who should remember me..however, 6th grade was a long time ago..and I'm not sure I was as memorable to them as they were to me. This next part is going to sound so ridiculously stupid..but I also found a Class of 97 myspace page..and I know I'll never be included because well.. I didn't graduate 8th grade with them. But dammit.. kids who moved in and went to school in Merchantville in that last year were included. I know.. I knowwwww they graduated there. But golly.. I'd been going to that effing..squished roaches on the stairs..cheesy pizza Friday school since kindergarten! What about me?? hehehe. ALL of my siblings (and I'll tell ya..there are 9 of us) went there..and 6 of them graduated. but geeze..because I got dragged along with my family to Arizona.. I'm not included? Me me me. pity me, god dammit.

I think the saddest..and probably most pathetic part about it all..is that I will always see myself as belonging there..but I have this feeling no one really remembers me.


Okay..the sob shit's over. Carry on.