What worries you?

I have had more blood drained out of me in the past 24 hours than I had stolen the entire 5 days I was in the hospital during the whole Calix ordeal. My arm hurts! I'm pretty sure the nurse did it wrong. Then? After taking 7 vials of my life juice from me..she seriously said "Oh no..don't tell me I forgot to do the violet". You mean there were supposed to be 8?!?! WHY?? I mean..they asked me if I wanted an HIV test which hello..of course I do. Because I haven't had one done since I was pregs with Alpha Baby..and ya know..what with all of the whoring around I do..it's just a good idea. (I um..don't really whore around. obviously..). I had to drink one of those glucose drinks that everyone tells you are so terrible tasting.. but I'm here to ensure that they're not that freakin bad. I mean, I know both times I've done it..they were orange..but like..it's kind of like slightly watery..way too much sugar..crappy orange soda. Yeah..I was fairly wired after all of that. So I'm sitting in the waiting room..30 minutes later and I'm like "Oh man.. Orion.. I really have to pee" "So then go" "I'm supposed to wait an hour! Okay.. I'll wait. Hmm hmm hmm" "Cuddle..she said if you needed to go...you could" "I'm stronger than that. I can totally hold off. Aww man..I wish I didn't drink all of that water right before I drank the orange drink thing" "Cuddle..just go" So I went to the counter like "Hi.. um..it's been 45 minutes..and I really have to go to the bathroom" "Aw, honey.. I told you if you needed to go, you could. Your cup's on the counter" Argh. Lemme tell ya...I love how there are serious step by step instructions posted on the doors of each bathroom stall to let you know exactly how to pee in a cup. Exactly. I laughed pretty good about that one.
Also? I noticed that when you go to a doctor in civilian world (off post) they keep your charts on the door..for like..ya know..the doctors to know what they need to know about you or whatever. Not in the army. You go wherever they tell you to go..you give them your ID card and then they check on the computer what you need done. Neat.
I had to do a little interview type thing..where I get asked all sorts of questions "do you do street drugs?" I laughed "haha..no" (I got asked that at WIC today too. Do I freaking look like I do drugs? I mean..come on..) and then I had to fill out a little questionaire..that just about made me cry. I teared up..that's for sure. One of the questions was "What's your current worry?" and I honestly wrote down "Having this baby alone." Nothing is more truthful than that. And I'm sure everyone's oh so tired of me talking about it.. but I mean..after the baby's born? I have to go home..and do everything myself. Cooking? It's all me. Taking care of 2 kids? All me. Cleaning? You guessed it..me. I'll be trying to heal and be a mom all at the same time. Which? I *know* women do all the time..but I never wanted to. No one will be here (as of now anyway) to drive me home from the hospital (maybe a taxi?)..no one will be here to cook for me and help me out with the baby and let me rest every once in a while..and I know a lot of people actually have family close by and friends that are more than willing to help out. I don't. I have zero friends here. I guess that's okay..but ya know.. it's back to the..what about me??
I read in a pamphlet last night that The Red Cross can mybe track Orion down 6 weeks before my due date..so he can request leave..and be here for the birth. That made me cry. Oh golly I hope it's true..because can you imagine going through something like that (plus! I guess I'll need to find a babysitter to come take care of Calix for a couple of days) with absolutely no one on your team in the room with you? How horrible.

So that? Is what worries me every single day.

My next appointment's on the 17th..and I'll get my first ultrasound! woop woop!