The Shape of Calix's Mother

I cannot express how much this site made me cry earlier. Shape of a Mother. It's been so hard for me to come to terms with the way my body is now after having Calix. I mean, weight has been a struggle for me since the beginning of puberty..but when I lived in Oregon, I blew up to a cool 230 pounds. Believe it or not. I'm sure I didn't *look* that heavy..but believe you me, I was. When I moved back home to Colorado, I was depressed..but had a totally new outlook on life and just wanted to be *me* for a while. That's when I dropped down to 160..and being slightly under 5'9", that was more than good enough for me. And that's basically what I was in the pictures in this post. (that'd be me and an ex-boyfriend..blahh).

So to see all of these women just be like *bam* here's what having a baby really does to your body makes everything more real, ya know? Knowing I gained nearly 50 pounds with Calix..I'm terrified for what baby 2 will leave me with. This is why I'm determined to do everything right this time. To eat as healthy as I can without force feeding myself bullshit I'd never eat normally... and even though I was on my feet all day every day at work with Calix..I wasn't *exercising* as much as I should have been..so I'm determined to do that as well with this one. Keep my blood pressure low so I don't end up with preeclampsia again..ya know..the things you should do. Without revealing too much of the current state of my mommy body..here's what I looked like 2 weeks before the arrival of my precious precious boy:










Now, I understand you can't really see the extent of the stretchmarks..but I assure you, they are worse than that. I'm not yet prepared enough to take current tummy pictures, but..belly pictures will be eventually posted once I start showing more (ah..yes, I'm already showing a bit. Tis the joy of baby 2 and an already stretched uterus.) This site just makes me so thrilled to see everyone else actually showing off their "battle scars" (as my husband calls them) to say 'Hey, this isn't Hollywood. This is what *really* happens' I love that. I'd also like to state for the record that Calix was worth every. single. one. of these marks.

So, go take a look at that site and if it bothers you sooo much..don't have kids.