The Mommy Love Oozes

I love Calix so much it hurts. I went in to check on him last night..(like I always do before going to bed) and Orion had put him in a red onesie. He'd kicked his blanket off and because it was dark, I could only see his lil pudgy legs. I tucked him back in..and as I was leaving his room, I swear to God I got all choked up and held my heart. I love every little ounce of that kid. It's like.. just when you think you couldn't possibly love someone that small as much as you already do..they go and prove you can. His smiles consume me.
I think I must have been in some of the absolute worst moods last week..because I swore my kid was a terror. Over these past 2 days of me being sick and just*watching* him.. I can't believe I ever thought those things about him. He's just been marching around..climbing on things..pushing stuff around (like his rocking chair, his driving toy, and a tin daddy let him play with)..following me into the kitchen and trying to climb up my leg..and he points now. It's so insanely adorable! He's got the perfect point down..like an art. He gives me splurburts and looks up to see my reaction to them. He's a hugger..a cuddler..and he's learning how to give good kisses. My child..is the shit. He's been smiling and just cracking up at random things all day and I just wanna squeeze him till I can't squeeze him anymore (I won't, obviously). I want to just gobble him up and have him all to myself again, ya know? He's so precious that I don't wanna share him with anyone else anymore. Why can't he just curl up and live in my tummy a bit longer? I love him that much. I love him to such an extreme that it feels like 'love' isn't a strong enough word. He amazes me every single day with everything that he's learning. He's just so funny!

This kind of feeling makes me *excited* for what the 2nd kiddo will bring. How much more love will be spread around in my happy little home! More hugs and kisses! More bedtime stories! More warm homemade cookies!

I can't see myself being anything but a mom. I know..women's rights. Eff that. I'm down with being a mommy and teaching my kids to be the best people they can be..and hopefully? Some of the things I'll say will actually stick.