I suddenly have no freaking clue what's going on. All day yesterday and the majority of today it was bleeding (nothing hardcore..just spotting mostly) and cramping like you wouldn't believe..and then suddenly? Everything stops. No blood..very very little cramping. I'm starting to think this kiddo has changed his mind and has decided to camp out a bit longer. NOT FUNNY, MADDOX!!
Mommy is ready..*so* ready to be done being pregnant for a while. And I don't even care how jerky that sounds because "ab, you're only 35 weeks along" kiss my ass. I'm tired tired *tired* of being pregnant and this kid playing with my emotions the way he has been is getting all kinds of old.

Maddox - "uh..uh! I'm going to make an appearanceeeee"
Me - "Horray!!! Orion! This kid is so going to make an appearance super soon!!"
Maddox - "ha ha..just kidding, mommy. I really fooled you this time"


GROUNDED!!


My emotions and all of that stupid girly crap that I'm so over at this point don't need to be messed with any more than they've already been messed with. I'm having a HARD ENOUGH time trying to deal with the fact that my husband is leaving for a YEAR in 2-ish weeks.

I've been telling him I hate him. I don't hate him..and he knows that..I just hate that he has to leave. He's like "you'll discover so many things about yourself, cuddle" and I replied "yeah..that I won't need you" "right! so when I come home.." "maybe you're not following. I won't need you.. so.. I won't *be* here when you get home" "oh, because you won't *need* me..you won't want me?" "you're silly. I always want you."

and then "O..I want a divorce" "why..?" "because I hate you." Silence. "Okay, I don't hate you..but I hate you. How about just a divorce for while you're gone?" "that counts as cheating" "not cheating if we're divorced."

Ya'll, of *course* I'm joking. I just feel bratty and messed with today..so dammit, I'll do whatever the eff I want.


Really though..I just feel like curling up into a ball and crying. I need to like..shop. But alas..I cannot because we just spent $472 freaking dollars on new tires. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. So instead..I'm finding a tiny bit of comfort clipping coupons..and thinking about stock piling all sorts of crap while Orion's gone.

Ya'll..I need my husband.