Okay, so we arrived at the hospital a cool 10 minutes late Tuesday morning. I kept telling my darling husband to turn left into the parking garage already..he must have his directions backwards..or must just hate my guts because he seriously turned right and we ended up in the employee only parking and then had to friggin back out (with me ducked down and hiding from everyone of course. because oh my gosh, how embarrassing!) while all of these other people who were actually employees were trying to get in. We circled those stupid 1 way city blocks..I can't even tell you how many times until he FINALLY listened and turned left into the friggin parking garage (and I won't even go into how many close to the elevator parking spots he passed up..irritating me even more SO early in the morning. ah, the joys.). But anyway.
After getting all settled in (oh, did I mention grams couldn't watch Calix? The very same woman who goes on and on about if we need her to watch him, she's more than available? couldn't watch him...so he was with us), I was told I needed to do (yet another!!!) 24 hour urine collection. JOY! So this 23 hours that we were supposed to be there turned into 24 and then more hours to wait for results. Mmmhmm. Someone came in to do an ultrasound on the kiddo..and well, he's head down again..so that's good. But he's facing the wrong way..which I guess doesn't *really* matter in the end. She said he weighs anywhere from 5 pounds to 5 pounds 14 ounces (up to a 14 ounce difference on the machine, man. but it's fine..they said Calix would weigh 4 pounds 5 ounces..and the kid weighed 4 even).
Hung out in the room for a while..pulled out the Uno cards and then a wheelchair came in for me. Took me down to get another MRI..so that was all kinds of fun. They also did an MRA and an MRV (I know that one has to do with the veins..but more on how I know that later). Blah blah blah..fill in gaps with lots of boredom and unplugging myself to go potty while holding onto the friggin cords..and then pouring it all into a big jug on ice (wooo fun!!! especially at night!)..and then everyone and their mother coming in to see just how cute Calix is because everyone on the floor is talking about the adorable kid in room LDR6. Oh yes..please..wake him up some more because he's not exhausted and it didn't take forever to get him to fall asleep, either. And also don't pay attention to the mother and father of that very child who are "shhh'ing" you because you're being too loud and uh! uh! you woke him up. THANKS!!
They stole me again and dragged me down to do a 2D Echo or something. An ultrasound on my heart, really..to see if there were any lesions left on it from the mini strokes I've been having. The technician was pretty cool..she's 11 weeks pregnant..so we talked about those sorts of things the entire time I was being felt up. I won't lie when I say I felt a bit awkward being in this room where only old people were. Here I am.. a young strapping 24 year old and I'm getting ultrasounds done on my freaking heart. Makes a girl feel good, lemme tell ya. While waiting for my person to come take me back to labor and delivery..I chatted it up with one of those said old people..good times.
Someone from neurology came up to talk to me..and ugh..I had to dig into my past about drug use. Ya'll..I'm not so proud of the things I've done..and then to have to admit to when the last time I did it too..ugh. So here it goes. I told her about the cocaine. She asked how often I used..and I told her it was basically every night. She asked how long I've been clean..and I told her it's been 3 years..and then Orion chimed in (I knew he would hold this over my head at some point) with how I was using cocaine in March '05 (we know this because well..I snorted and freebased that crap the night before I found out I was pregnant. Orion wasn't home..and I'd just found out I had high risk HPV and was scared because it meant I had a fantastically great chance of having cervical cancer). I didn't mention the meth or any of the other various drugs I've put into my system over the years..because she didn't ask. All she asked about was cocaine. And I'm thinking she asked this because I have a cyst in my sinuses and maybe..just maybe I got it from snorting substances. And even if that's not true..let me think that's how I got it anyway.
Orion took Calix home (he told me later he was talking to Calix in the car about how he and mommy met. awww) to grab his playpen and a few other things and came back to spend the night in the room with me (again..if grams were available..Calix wouldn't have slept there). I'll just say Calix didn't fall asleep until about 1:45 in the morning..but who could blame him? Lights..beeping..loud ass people in the hallways..and all kinds of interruptions in our room throughout the night. None of us really slept much. I woke up around 6:15 to go potty..and Calix woke up around 6:30. Needless to say..he was all kinds of fun to be around for the rest of the day. But I still think he was mighty well behaved in spite of everything.
I was having a brief nap and was woken up to be stolen to go get an ultrasound. Because they didn't have my ultrasound work..it had to be a full one. Hey, ya know..I don't mind. I get to see my kiddo again..and this time he's bigger and I can make more out. They had me pull my jammie pants down to my knees (and I seriously can't tell you why other than the fact that they just must have wanted to see my vahayhay in all of its glory) and got to work. We got a just about definite weight on the kid.. 5 pounds 12 ounces. She printed me out some pictures of his adorable little feet..and one where it's the side view of his pudgy (no..it seriously is) little leg and foot. He mostly had his hands covering his face anytime she got close to it..kind of like he was saying "come on, lady..let something be a surprise"..but he did let us see small bits of it..and from what I can tell, he looks like Calix. Like..a pudgy version of the very same child I gave birth to 16 months ago. Hey ya know..I'm more than fine with that..because let's be honest here.. my kid is friggin adorable. That's right..I said it.
Anyway..this is the best part of the ultrasound story. I won't lie..I was gettin a little sweaty while lying there butt naked for so long. So after the 2nd doctor was done getting everything he needed to get from me..he said I could pull my pants up. Well, you know that stupid paper stuff that's on those bed thingies? Imagine that thin paper..plus sweat..plus my ass...and then ask me to stand up. Yeah. I had half of it rip off and literally stick to my butt. I was trying to ya know..not make it so obvious..so I'm wiping all of that goop off of my belly and trying to secretly peel all of that paper off my butt at the same time. How embarrassing. But leave it up to me to go back out to the waiting room where Orion and Calix were waiting..and have another girl be there (who was a mere 3 weeks pregnant) with her boyfriend or husband..(I don't know, I didn't ask) and start cracking up while telling the story of what just happened. But mostly, the doctor said Maddox looks good..then corrected himself and said he looks excellent. Yeah, he'd better..seeings as he's put me through all kinds of crap while housing his little growing body.
The rest of the day was spent in the stupid hospital room..waiting. WAITING for all of these results. I had Calix curled up in bed with me and we were reading stories when a group of doctors came in to let me know my urine is the best looking piss they've ever seen. No, okay..they didn't say that..but they did say it was some great looking stuff..to which I said "yeah? You liked that? I worked pretty hard on it."..and then said that neurology was coming up to see me shortly with the MRI results and that we could probably go home in about an hour. Mmmhmmmm. Going on hour 34. 2 hours later, neurology showed up and we talked for a while about the findings..and in most cases..the lack thereof. The MRI and MRA came back all sorts of free and clear of anything..but the MRV showed a clogged vein or something..in the spot that would control the things that happened on my right side on Saturday. She said she'd look over it again and then give me a call (she threatened to keep me another night..but I was all "NO!!!" and that was the end of that).
Waited for about another 45 minutes for discharge papers..and around 10pm? We were FINALLY free!! I'll tell ya..as soon as we got home and Calix saw his bed..he relaxed so hard and slept and slept and slept. He even took a 4 hour nap yesterday because he was still so tired. And in fact..we're coming up on 10am..and the kid is still sleeping. I should wake him up.
PS. when going to the hospital bring with you
1. your own pillows. unless you enjoy pancake pillows.
2. a typed version of what happened..and make many many copies to pass around because no one there writes anything you say down so you end up repeating yourself until you want to scream.
A couple of stupid hospital pictures:
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