So much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders in the past 18 hours or so. We've been wanting to file bankruptcy for a while now (needing to). Not because we're out of control with money..no, I wish it were that simple. But because well (okay, I'll get into it even though I told myself I wouldn't because it's really none of ya'll's business), when I met Orion..he was basically broke. About 2 weeks of knowing eachother, he was being evicted and I just adored this man so much that I had him move into the basement of my mother's house. Things, obviously, progressed with us and a few months later, we were engaged (literally 4 months) to be married. We moved out into our own apartment across town from my mothers' a couple of months later and shortly after, found out we were pregnant (but, if you'd read Orion's bio on Myspace, you'd know all of this already).
Orion was having a super hard time finding work.. something that's not uncommon for a return soldier..but I had a job that paid decently and continued to pay for everything we did. Every bill..everything was on me. Not to make it sound like he was a lump of crap floating through life or anything, no. He had small jobs here and there that just wouldn't last long (construction, holiday help at the Gap, overnight security..etc)..and then he finally got a decent paying job doing overnight stocking at The Home Depot. I'd gotten my first credit card..and money was super tight (we got caught up in those check advancement places. Ace, to be exact) so we used my credit card for rent one month and our cat was sicker than sick..so we used the rest of the card to take her to the vet. The Home Depot eventually got new management and Orion was suddenly being blamed for everything so he quit (before he was about to get fired)..right around the same time I quit my job (there goes my health benefits) because we were moving to Lakewood (cheaper and nicer apartment..closer to family..etc) and being as pregnant as I was, I couldn't imagine sitting behind the wheel for an hour every morning..and an hour every evening (not including traffic) to go work at a place where everyone seemed to hate me for no reason (oh, and even though I was extremely pregnant, they didn't believe me.) and waste so much of that earned money on gas. So there we are in a new apartment (that we didn't have to pay rent on for 3 months) both jobless.
A month after moving in, Calix arrived. Two months ahead of schedule. Orion was out every single day looking for work..but nothing was happening. While I was still in the hospital, my older brother had basically hooked him up with a job at the restaurant he worked at..and while in the hospital still, Orion asked me what I thought about him going active in the army. I told him to do whatever he needed to do to take care of his family. I, obviously, couldn't work for a little while after the baby..and even if I did, just about all of my pay would go towards OTHER people watching my child..it didn't seem worth it. So off Orion went everyday to wait tables and barely made enough to cover formula and diapers. My mother's boyfriend, David, stepped up and helped us with rent a couple of times..(among other people helping with other random bills and groceries). We were poor. Literally living off of the love we had (have, really) for one another..determined to come out of this crap alive and still loving the daylights out of eachother.
A few days after Christmas, Orion left for Virginia to do some training with the army. He was gone for a little less than 4 months. I was left in Colorado to take care of a 3 month old child all by myself and figure out how to go about doing everything with an infant..alone (groceries..bills...things of the such). I still say those 4 months made me feel like I was a single mother..but I did it, and we were on top of everything. Orion came home in April and a few days after that, we made our way to our PCS (permanent change of station) here in Fort Knox, Kentucky.
As of now, we are a bit over $100,000 in debt..$86,000 of it is from Calix's birth and 2 1/2 week hospital stay. It's so bad that we've been having $450 garnished from about the last 3 or 4 paychecks. We can't survive and pay bills and then have some sort of a decent Christmas on what's leftover (it would basically be the 1 present I've already gotten Orion under our tree along with anything family sent..because it's just THAT tight right now)..and I *need* Christmas. I cannot have the same thing that happened last year happen this time around. I. Can't. Do. It. And I won't.
About a week ago, I'd e-mailed my father and basically asked to borrow a bit of money from him..because you know what? I'm 24 years old and I have *never* asked that man for a thing before in my life..and he'd always said if there was anything he could do for me..to let him know and he would do it. He and his wife had e-mailed me back and told me they could help..but they were never clear on what they could or couldn't do..so I assumed they were going to help with it all ($700, if you must know). My dad's wife called last night to let me know she was sending out $200 today. My heart sank and I immediately got scared all over again..but my dad sounded so pleased with himself that he could help his youngest daughter out..and I'm thrilled he can help out at all..but geeze, I wished they'd been a bit clearer. When I got off the phone with them, I started crying. I literally bawled like I haven't done in *years* because oh my gosh, I thought this whole thing was over..oh my gosh, we need to bring $550 with us to the lawyer and we won't have it until the week before Christmas and holy crap this bankruptcy will NEVER happen..and it *has* to before Orion leaves because he has to be here for it..and oh my gosh, we're caught up on all of our bills (thanks to a loan from the army that we'll be paying back for the next 2 years) but we have all kinds of bills due again at the end of the month and oh my gosh we CAN'T fall behind again..and I have this awful awful feeling this kid's coming early, too and it doesn't help that my doctor basically told me he's going to and holy crap we don't even have anything for him yet..and there shouldn't be an excuse because we make enough money usually..but this danged garnishment is kicking our butts (normally, we have about $300 extra bucks every 2 weeks to spend on whatever).
SO..I e-mailed my mother in tears and she told me to e-mail her boyfriend. He wired $600 into our account this morning, bless his heart. I've been filling out paperwork for the bankruptcy like crazy..and as soon as we get the 6 months worth of bank statements, we go see our lawyer and within 72 hours the garnishment and the phone calls stop. HECKS YES!! There is actually a light at the end of the tunnel, ya'll. You just have to wait a while and maybe shed a few tears.
It's not like we live this extravagant lifestyle..and it's not like we had a massive wedding or honeymoon to put us into debt. No..we just had a kid at the worst time in our lives. It happens.
SO..there it is. Now you know.
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Well, first I want to say that I respect the fact that you put it all out there like yeah, this is how it is, this is how it was, so what? I've kinda talked a little bit about this with Char, cuz Brian and I were scared shitless earlier this year when I was late. Like suuuuper late. 3 months late to be exact. Scared the HELL out of us. Our Christmas last year was horrible. We had NO money. We were having to use credit cards to buy gas, groceries, etc.
The girls at work wanted everyone to chip in $25 to help buy our bosses gift certificates. I had to tell them that I couldn't do it. They all stuck their noses up like, "What? You mean you can't afford to give $25??" I was like, "Ummm, yeah bitches, I don't even have money to buy Brian anything for Christmas!"
Things all started because of my car insurance. That's a long story for another day, but the short version is that my Allstate agent was supposed to get me a better deal on my insurance for my renewal. So he told me not to pay the bill that month, let it lapse, and that he would have a cheaper policy for me by the time I was ready to renew. But he failed to do so, and I had to come up with $750 to keep my policy from canceling. And by this time we had already planned our trip down to LA to see Char and Bruce, so we had to take a $500 direct deposit advance from the bank. And of course my next check was $500 short, so I had to take another advance to cover the bills, and the check after that was short, etc, etc. Eventually it got to the point where we couldn’t take any more advances. We were stuck.
Luckily the bosses gave us a little bit of a bonus (it was only $100, but hey, better than nothing!) so Brian and I were able to buy each other a little something for Christmas. But it was the worst financial situation we have ever been in.
And then when I realized that I was late, geeze, when it rains it pours! All my hpts were negative, but after 3 months of being late I talked my doctor into doing a blood test. It was negative too, so we got lucky, but it was scary nonetheless.
I got a little off track here on what I wanted to say. What I basically wanted to tell you is that I admire the heck out of you and O for doing everything that you've done, raising such a wonderful son, and not having the best of luck while doing so. I think you're both awesome and like I said, I respect the heck out of you both for everything that you've done. I don't think that many people would have been able to get through it; I know that Brian and I probably wouldn't.
And hey, we may not be the richest people in the world, but Brian and I would do anything for our friends. And that includes you and Orion. So if you *ever* need anything, whether it be money or just some support and encouragement, we're here for you.
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