Screaming on the Inside

11-10-11

2011-11-10T17:08:00.004-05:00

Hi, it's been a while. Heh. I'm not going to do the whole, 'I've been such a bad blogger!' thing, because, whatever...I'm here. You can't ask for more than that.

I was forming some baked doughnuts for tomorrow morning...the first bits of Christmas melodies in the background (that Pandora!) and apple cinnamon candles were filling the air. Two of my children were under my feet trying to help with the doughnuts (really, I gave them some dough to play with/eat/whatever/JUST DON'T STICK IT TO ANYTHING OR THROW IT AT ONE ANOTHER) and when I was done with that, I shredded the pork loin that had been cooking in the crock pot all day and tossed it around in some BBQ sauce.

Avoiding the stack of dishes in the sink, I headed out to the deck to feed the birds (what's left of them) and squirrels. The boys lost track of me for a whole 3 seconds and hurried out to find their mother (I swear, they think I'm going to run away. I don't know *where* they got that from! Haha!) and then we all saw a beautiful sight, "Oh, I wish I had my camera with me right now!" I said. "Go get it!" answered Calix. "But it'll all be over by the time I get back and I don't want to miss this." "It won't be, I promise. Go get the camera!". So I hustled into the house and grabbed the camera from the office and scurried back outside.

This is what we saw (though, it was far more glorious in person):

It's hard to tell, but there were thousands upon thousands of birds. The group felt so endless. The boys and I watched in awe and they kept saying things like, "this is so beautiful" (those tender kids of mine!) as I snapped away.

Unbeknownst to the kids, the camera that was snapping away the most was the one in my mind. I can't ask for lovelier memories than these.

Week 30!

2010-11-22T14:41:00.003-05:00

We're 30 weeks today! How exciting! 10 weeks left (but probably less with my history haha)!

I had plans to go to the commissary today to pick up the last of the fresh produce and a couple of other minor things for Thanksgiving..but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I've been feeling a bit of pressure and even small bits of sharp type pains..but I'm hoping they're just stretching type pains. She's been moving around like CRAZY all morning and there are no contractions (though, LOTS of Braxton Hicks last night)..so I'm pretty sure we're in the clear. Just trying to relax and take it easy for the day. Totally annoying because there's so much I want to get done!

Our hospital bags are packed (minus a couple of things like nursing bras, underpants, and socks and then the easy grabs like cameras, phones, and makeup) because we've been down this road before. When I went into labor with Calix at 32 weeks, we literally just went to the hospital (as per instructions) without anything and Orion ended up making a trip or 2 back home after I was settled in to fetch some things. Maddox at 36 1/2 weeks was a fast grab and go sort of situation as well. So this time? Orion was bound and determined at like..27 weeks to be packed hahaha. So we are.

I've been trying my best to keep up with the housework (okay, my bedroom and bathroom could use a good cleaning) and keeping the fridge, freezer, and pantry stocked so that WHEN we have to head out and Amy comes to stay with the boys (and if it happens during school days, Calix won't be going for a day or 2 just because it's an added hassle for Amy and I'd like to keep her life as easy as possible while she's here.), there won't be hunger issues hahaha (though, with couponing and stockpiling the way I do, I don't think that would be an issue anyway. But still.).

Her nursery is all set and ready to go (if you just looked past all of the presents wrapped and waiting for tags and bows)...we're ready. The most prepared we've EVER been for a child..and that feels so so good. We've certainly come a LONG way in 5 years and that makes me feel so proud.

Wednesday morning, I have another COB (complicated OB) appointment (it is also Orion's 29th birthday!), Thursday is, obviously, Thanksgiving and I'm hoping I won't crumble in the kitchen because we're having company over for dinner and ya know..I just can't crumble. Then next Wednesday the 1st, I have another ultrasound! I feel so spoiled with all of these ultrasounds..but they're, ya know, because I'm a "complicated patient". They've gotta keep a close eye on me and her. It's for a reason.

Anyway, I haven't taken any 30 week pictures (and probably won't)..but here's 29 weeks:

Hooray for baby bellies! :)

It's...Complex.

2010-09-10T13:21:00.002-05:00

Have you ever stared into a bright light? If you have, do you know the colorful spots you see when you look away? That's how my morning started out yesterday. I was sorting through clean laundry before getting the boys up and moving when I noticed colorful spots kind of swirling around in my left peripheral. I thought maybe it was just another crazy pregnancy side effect and kept at what I was doing. I got the boys up..teeth brushed..fed them breakfast and even packed Calix's lunch with these swirling spots in my vision. I thought I was going blind. I sat at the computer and tried to look up what was going on to see if I could get an idea. And then? My left hand went numb. Oh, no. I remember now. So I pulled up a blog entry of mine from October 30, 2006..when I was 21 weeks pregnant with Maddox. And sure enough, just like my blog described..then the left side of my face went numb. I happened to have been eating oatmeal at the time and dribbled some on my face. I tried to wipe it off but could not feel my hand..or my face..so it was pretty pointless (and frustrating). My lips went numb..my tongue went numb. I called Orion who'd already left for work. He wasn't answering. I called again. I left messages. I texted him multiple times. SURELY he feels his phone vibrating like crazy! SURELY he knows *something* has to be wrong! I *never* bother him like this unless something is urgent.

I thought I should call 911. But it was 7am and Calix had to be at school in about 30 minutes. And what do I DO with both of my children in the ER if I do call anyway? I can't babysit them when I'm the one needing to be looked after..and my husband ISN'T answering his phone so I can't even confirm with him that, hey..I'm going to the hospital..meet me there and handle the kids. I was scared. I was crying. I was getting more and more confused by the second. Maybe I can drop him off and drive myself to the hospital? I could barely see and feel half of my body and this is what I was thinking. It wasn't logical. I know this.

These are the texts I left him:

6:19am -Oe?
6:20 - There's something weird going on with my vision
Side of left eye
It's like a swirl of colors
Kind of like if you stare at a bright light or something then pull away
6:21 - and you have that jumbled colors feeling
That's what's going on..just on the side of my left eye
And I didn't stare into any lights
6:44 - Orion
ORION
Left hand is numb
I'm scared that I'm having another TIA attack thing
6:45 - Orion
Orion help
Do you even have your phone??

**Orion**
6:56 - Call 911.

**Me**
I have to take calix to sdchool (yes, I'm aware that is spelled incorrectly..but that's how it looked in my text. my fingers felt fat and heavy and kept slapping the wrong keys)

**Orion**
I don't remember asking you what you have to do. If it's a TIA attack, then call the hospital.

**Me**
I'll take calix to school then go to the er I guess

**Orion**
Are you trying to be stupid on purpose or on accident?
I am on the way.

And the answer to his question was, of course, that I was NOT trying to be stupid on purpose. Nothing made sense to me. I was just trying to go about my morning..get my kids taken care of and THEN get me taken care of. It isn't logical. I know. There's just no way to make any of that make sense. It was stupid..I knew it was stupid..but at the same time, I wanted to be normal. Does that make sense?

By the time he got to me, the numbness had gone away..as had the color swirls..but I still felt out of it and I still couldn't verbalize what I was thinking (which happened to me in a worse way later on in the day. The words strung together and made sentences in my head..but by the time they got to my mouth, I couldn't remember..or form..any of those words. So all I would end up saying is "I don't remember what I was going to say" and I felt SO dumb because of it). Names blurred together and didn't feel like these peoples' correct names (like Rachel Ray. I thought there was no way that was her name. It didn't even SOUND like it could ever be her name..and how come this magazine says Rachel Ray under all of her pictures?!? People are stupid..they don't even know who this lady is!). He dropped me at the emergency room door and went to go find parking while I tried to convince my legs with all of my brainpower that they work. Wobbly legs..shuffling into the ER to check in. It's a horrible feeling to know that NORMALLY you can make your body do these things..and here it is, acting like it can't.

I sat and stifled tears while I was checked in. I tried to act stronger than I felt. I tried to joke with the guy who did my initial screening thing. The usual long wait in the waiting room was cut down to about 5 minutes. We were called back..I was put into a hospital gown and apologized to an angry with me Orion for not calling 911. He still didn't get it. I wasn't being dumb on purpose. I just wasn't all the way there mentally and needed a decision maker for me. He's the one I run to in situations like that. That's really how simple it was. But..he was angry. He was angry because he needs me. The boys need me. If he was NOT able to get to me and I still didn't call 911 and I died out of stubbornness and took Kaydence along with me..he wouldn't be able to forgive me. He was angry because he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. It's really as simple as that. It's just hard to have the one person you want a hug from..and told everything will be okay..be so upset with you. I know. I know. I'm sorry.

The migraine that comes with the numbness and vision issues had shown up. Maddox turned my lights out and I was given Tylenol. I had to recite what had happened 3 times..to 3 different people. I had to go over my history with this thing (as in..I'd had it happen once before 4 years ago when I was exactly as far along with my Maddox pregnancy. They thought maybe it was TIA (a mini stroke)..I'd had 2 CT scans done WHILE I was pregnant with this child and after months of not really knowing what it was that had actually happened, was told it was a "complex migraine"..without any information about the thing. It felt like it was just a 'here take this diagnosis. We're not really sure what's wrong with you..so uh..have this instead'). Around 9:30, they'd come back and confirmed that it was indeed..a complex migraine and that because I've already had one while pregnant, those parts of my brain were already open and ready to be given the chance again. Or something. And because I'm pregnant NOW, they just may be more susceptible to happening because of the hormone changes..or..something along those lines. What he said made sense. What he said was detailed and made us feel better than the simple University of Louisville diagnosis of "complex migraine". At least now we KNOW what they are (ish..) and now we KNOW we don't have to rush back to the hospital with each one. They see this all the time..it's a total classic case of a complex migraine.

I was told what to look out for (because these are similar to mini strokes..mini strokes just last longer) in the future. I was told to take some Tylenol and lay down in a dark room when these things happen. After the doctor had left and I was told I could put my clothes back on, Orion came over to me and gave me a long and deep hug. The one I had needed all morning.

And then we went out to a late breakfast at the bowling alley..because that's just what classy folk do.

And We Have A...

2010-08-23T11:44:00.006-05:00

Last Wednesday, I'd mentioned on Facebook that it was 3 more weeks until we found out the sex of the lil one growing within and who thinks it's a girl and who thinks it's another boy? It was unanimous..everyone thought it was a girl. Orion and I have felt like it's FOR SURE a girl for a while now (for a bit, we were back and forth. Feels like a boy. Feels like a girl. And my choices to wear yellow didn't help anything..but I did think it was funny. Here I am not sure if it's a boy or girl and my clothing won't even sway me one way or the other!) but then there's the whole..is everyone saying it's a girl just because this is my last baby and they all know how badly I want one? (older readers REALLY know how much I want a girl. I've spent DAYS crying and aching for a lil girl of my own for so long!)

So anyway, a friend who lives down the road from me said, after finding out I was 18 weeks along, there are places out here that'll let me find out the baby's gender (assuming it will cooperate..because sometimes the lil ones don't!) for a very small fee. A seriously small fee for something that magical. I quickly got to work looking them up and found Tomorrow Today (which won't let me link it.. http://www.tomorrowtodayultrasound.com/) and while shaking, called them up and made an appointment for the next day. Orion's been on an exercise on the other end of the island..he leaves at 6 in the morning and doesn't get home til about 8 at night..but I wanted to give him the opportunity to be there for it..so I e-mailed him and asked if he could sneak away for about an hour the next day to come with me.

There's something you should know about me..I have very little patience. Especially when I'm so anxious about something. Like finding out the gender of my baby. So I called back and changed my appointment for that same afternoon..ready to surprise Orion (he's really not the type to get mad about such things..and besides, he'll get to see baby on September 8th when I do my military doctor appointment where they do the measurements and what not. He'll see a bigger baby..and for a longer period of time.). I picked Calix up from school and headed over to Amy's house because she was coming along for the excitement. I'm not going to lie to you..I had to pop a few Pepto tablets. Something you should also know about me..I keep a box of Pepto tabs in the van (I still get anxiety over driving after that nasty car accident where I almost killed my friends and myself 6 years ago..six years ago on Saturday. And because I'm pregnant, I can't take my real medication for this anxiety..so I deal with it and take Pepto.).

While in the waiting room, I checked my e-mail and there was one from Orion. To my relief, he'd said he couldn't make it the next day. Oh, thank goodness..I don't have to feel like the worst wife ever for going without him a day early! I was called back and left Amy with the boys in the waiting room..and after the technician ran the wand thing over my belly I called out to Amy and the boys and asked if they wanted to come back and watch..but to not judge my gross belly as it's carried 2 other babies and has fluctuated in weight by large numbers. It'll never be able to wear a bikini again..I'll say that much (but may I direct you to http://www.theshapeofamother.com/ I know I've talked about that website before..like after I had Calix..but it's still a good site!). She led the babies back and they each took a seat. I had to lay on my side to get the baby to flip over a little bit so we could get a better look at it and then..then she ran the wand (what's the real name for that thing??) over my belly again and Amy gasped and said "oh, no." "what??" "I think I just saw some balls" and my heart sank a little bit and then I was thinking 'how did you see ANYTHING?? She ran over my belly SO quickly! Ninja eyes!' (hahaha) and then the tech woman (who was the sweetest tech of all time..she even had her own baby in the office for a bit..aww!) said "oh, no..what you're seeing is a swollen vagina"

Ahh!!!!!! I cried! Tears started flowing and the tech (what was her name?? Caley? Something like that) handed me a paper towel and said "aww, I'm gonna cry!" hehehe and then I let out a big "WOOHOO!!!!!!". My girl! I finally get my baby girl!!! AHHH!!!!!!!!!! And then we spent some time checking out her small body. She really had no issues flashing the vadge..but just about every time Caley tried to get a good shot of her face, she would put her hand up and cover and turn away. She must want to keep SOMETHING a surprise. But what I did see..was, of course, adorable (as adorable as you can get on an ultrasound).

I see so many of my features in her face already. Is this 2 for Abby's side of the family or will she end up looking more like Orion and have it be 2 for his side of the family?? What a precious little baby!

Amy had this awesome idea (though, I totally did a poor execution of it..nerves, ya'll..nerves!). We stopped by the commissary on the way home and she purchased a blue cake and we had the decorator write in blue icing "congratulations it's a girl"..hoping he would see all of the blue and think it was a boy..until he saw what it actually said. It didn't work so well because I didn't build him up in any way for the thinkings it's a boy.

This video is terrible..I look like a total frump a dump (I am most of the time I'm at home anyway)..but it was one of those..normal clothes make me feel icky and sweaty and uncomfortable..so let's just throw on some baggy jammies and put my glasses on.

We've known for 5 years that we wanted to name our girl (if ever we should have one) Kaydence. That was a for sure name..but we kept going back and forth on middle names (Peyton, Lennon, Ellie..) for just as long. Nothing seemed "right". Well, last night while Orion was giving the boys a bath, I was watching tv and someone had said something along the lines of "it's going to be such bliss to have this baby.." and I gasped. I gasped and I started crying. Then I said it out loud "Bliss. Kaydence Bliss" and she started kicking around in my belly. I'm not sure if that means she hates it or likes it..but I took it as a good sign haha. I waited until Orion was finished and I called him down to discuss. I teared up as I was telling him about this name. He said it a few times and we both agreed that, yes, this is the right name for our little girl. Such bliss to finally have our girl..this little bundle that we've waited so long for (when, *really*, we haven't waited THAT long for her..just feels like an eternity). The finishing touch on our family. :)

I've been doing shopping for little girl items and finally found her bedding and came up with what I think (in my head it's amazing) will make for an adorable nursery..and I finally got to finish our baby registry on Target.com (if anyone was wondering. There's not a whole lot on there..but I *did* sell everything baby about 2 weeks before we found out I was expecting. That made me feel awesome. You can either look up Abby Delgado or Orion Delgado to access it. We don't expect anything from anyone..but I know we've already had a few people ask about it. So there it is.). Orion finally moved the rest of the extra furniture out of her nursery and I've hung up flowy curtains. I have a package of..ideas..coming in the mail today..and I'm really hoping they work like I imagine they will. *fingers crossed*

Lots to do..lots to do!

Grow, Kaydence..grow! <3 <3

7-21-2010

2010-07-21T13:46:00.005-05:00

I'm in love. I'm SO in love!

Yesterday afternoon, I was sure I just wanted the day over with. Between battling the kids over various things ("stop fighting!" "stop squealing!" "Give your brother back his toy!" "No, you cannot have a snack") and Maddox (who has been AWESOME at potty training for the last month or 2)..continually wetting his pants and making a mess everywhere, I wanted to run away. I needed sleep. I wanted a day do-over. Let's everyone go upstairs and start all over. Try this again.

I almost cancelled my doctor's appointment because I was so grumpy. But..I pulled myself together long enough to put make up and clothes on and head out the door. Sans kids, of course..because I didn't even want to look at their faces. I felt bad about not bringing Orion along with me..but the kids were attempting a nap (read: Maddox was sleeping..Calix was up there playing and having a good ol time..which is against napping rules.) and I needed a breather. Besides, it's just going to be a meet my complicated pregnancy doctor and go over some test results kind of appointment..no use in dragging everyone along for something so boring.

I pulled into the parking garage and found a parking spot literally 1 minute before my appointment was supposed to be. Being late bugs me. Lateness gives me anxiety and makes me feel like I'm being disrespectful..but Orion got home late (like so late it gave me 15 minutes to get there and find a parking spot in the hell that is Tripler parking) not much I could do about it. So, I hustled my rump up the steep hill towards the OB/GYN clinic..checked in and sat for maybe 7 seconds before being called back. Still out of breath. Heart pumping. Oh, great..they're going to take my blood pressure and it's going to be out of control. *sigh*

Weighed in at 6 ounces less than I was 2 weeks ago (woo!)..in the middle of the afternoon AFTER lunch (woo! woo!). And then...blood pressure. Dun dun duunnnnnn!

It's not news that I have high blood pressure. Ever since I was pregnant with Calix it's been high. Ridiculously high. Waiting on a stroke kind of high. Losing those 60 pounds over the last year barely budged it. So at my last appointment 2 weeks ago when it was at 158/94, it was time to put me on meds. Yesterday, it was at a cool (to me) 140/82 which I thought was amazing..especially since I was still frazzled about the hill and being late and what not. Down 18 points in 12 days?! YES! The nurse wasn't as impressed as I was. Oh. (but she did know right away which perfume I was wearing..which I thought was amazing)

I sat and waited for my doctor and when he came in, he had a worried/sad look on his face..which freaked me the frig out. So I looked at him all scared and asked "what? Is there bad news?? What's going on??" and he was all "what? no. Nothing's wrong" and I said "oh my gosh, you SCARED me! The look on your face and.." then we jabbered back and forth for a few minutes clearing things up and what not and I laughed and assured him I'm not a too serious kind of person and that it's okay and kind of funny, really. Ya know.

But my test results? All of them? Stellar. Perfect urine in my 24-hour collection (thank you..thank you..)..my blood looks great..my lady test was perfect (except for finding out I have a friable cervix..and that my uterus is like..long? Like it sits like a football or something? I don't know. It's kind of weird. But nothing to worry about) and then he went to listen to the baby's heart.

Question..for those of you who've been pregnant, do you know exactly where your baby is perched within your body? Because I do. I can feel him or her..and have been able to for about 5 weeks now. (which seems ridiculously early..but I know my body and can feel slight changes, I guess. I'm a weirdo.) A couple of weeks ago, when we heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time, I knew the baby was on my left side..but I didn't say anything because I thought it might sound too weird and the midwife might have told me I don't know what I'm talking about..and then what if the baby turned up on my right side and I was wrong that whole time (even though I could put a 99% accuracy on the whole thing)? I would look so stupid. But, it didn't surprise me one bit when after digging around on the right side, the baby ended up being on my left. That's where I feel the thumps. When I lay down, that's where I feel the little squirming arounds. The familiar feelings.

The person I saw yesterday was a resident..not my real doctor. I told him I felt the baby on my left and he began searching for a heartbeat. Couldn't find one. He assured me that he was still new at this..but that if he can't find one, he'll just do an ultrasound. EEEEE!!!! I dang near did an air jig on the table. He asked me if I wanted it to be a girl or a boy and I was honest and said I have 2 boys at home and since this is my last baby..I'd really like it to be a girl (though..if it's a boy, that's more than okay, too..I just want my chance to have a daughter, ya know?) so from then on, anything having to do with the baby he referred to it as "she" and I'm like "you're getting my hopes up! In 5 weeks if I find out it's a boy, I'm just going to have to cry..you know that, right?" just poking at him..because, whatever, if there's anyone you should be real with..it's probably your doctor (and your spouse..but ya know..ya know.). I tried to get him to at least TRY to get the gender of the baby (hehehehehehe) but he said there's no way it was even possible and the quality of picture on this ultrasound machine wasn't great because it's the kind they use down-range and what not. So. Okaayyyy..let's just see the lil heart a fluttering away!

We saw the face. We saw the body, the bum, and the legs. I don't think I have ever..ever been so in love right away with one of my babies. Is that weird? I feel like I've been waiting SO long for this baby..and that I'm actually finally ready to BE pregnant. Things just feel different with this pregnancy. I feel..more grown up or something. Hard to explain. But guess what? Totally on my left side. Without a doubt in the world..it's just lounging on my left side. I asked for a print out..not thinking I would really get one. He said he wasn't allowed to do that..hit print..handed it to me and said not to show anyone there because ya know. I thought that was pretty cool of him.

I tucked the picture away in my purse and when we were done, I walked out of the hospital with a stupid grin on my face and feeling like I was floating. I felt high. I felt drunk. As I walked back to the parking garage, I updated my Facebook status about being so in love and seeing the baby for the first time. I texted Orion about how I got to see the baby. As I climbed into the van, he asked if I got a picture and I said "he wasn't allowed to" and then giggled the whole way home..my world feeling fuzzy. I teared up..I laughed loudly..I even allowed people to get in front of me while driving so I could relish the feeling a little bit longer. When I got home, I went over the happenings with Orion. I tried to explain how sweet our baby looks..I went over the little face and the long legs and then I said "wait..here, let me just show you" and I pulled out the picture. He said "I thought you said he wasn't allowed to give you a picture??" and I said "he wasn't. But he did anyway" and then I laughed and he laughed because I'm always doing things like that to him. We both gazed at the little being in this picture in front of us and we hugged and laughed. It's amazing how fantastic your reactions can be when you're both totally ready and excited for this baby. The finishing touch on our family.

She/he..is just chillin away in there! Check out those gorgeous long legs!! The long torso! Is it just me or does it look like the arms are behind the head in total chill mode? This one has a total Delgado child face already..I can already see a lot of the same features my babies have. I think I've been staring at it too long :)

And I'll just bet if they took my blood pressure while I stared at this little person, it would have been a perfect 120/80.

7-13-10

2010-07-13T15:33:00.004-05:00

A couple of days ago, I'd mentioned to the husband that I've wondered pretty much since we've moved in how the downstairs would look with the rooms switched around. Why? Well..because our dining room table left about maybe 2 feet on all sides to scoot around in order to even sit down..which was awkward when we had company..not to mention just how grubby that room got on the daily. It was like the boys finger painted on the furniture. Absolutely nasty. So while I had intentions of eating there as a family for all meals..it rarely happened. I just didn't want to even go IN that room..it just didn't feel right.

And then everything else? Was in the Great Room. The "office", the living room, exercise equipment scattered all over the place, and then? The kitchen. The kitchen island has enough hang over space for cute saddle stools..but with the living room furniture just behind it? Too crowded. Everything was too crowded! Jumbled and messy and gave me anxiety hahaha. So..what can it hurt to move some things and try out a new set up? If it doesn't work..hey, at least everything was deep cleaned and can be moved back in about an hour or so (and uh..you never know just how grubby and dusty your house is until you MOVE things! Ew!).

Remember what it looked like before? I hope so..because I don't feel like digging through photo folders hahaha!

There are still a few things I want to do..but this is what's going on right now:

Everything feels so spacious..except for the living room which feels cozy..like a little den or something..and I like that. I like that the table is now a part of the kitchen area and that we, as a family, have eaten together for the last 4 meals (which would be every meal since the re-arranging was done).

I like that the exercise equipment isn't just stuffed into corners anymore and that it feels more accessible now..which is awesome because I've been ordered by my doctor to exercise every day until I start sweating to hopefully keep my blood pressure at a decent level and weight lifting will hopefully help to keep me from getting gestational diabetes (I have another 3 hour test for that in about 15 weeks at the 28 week mark..oh goodie goodie gumdrops!)..not to mention working out will help to keep the extreme weight gain down (I don't even want to discuss how much I've gained so far. Okay, it's 14 pounds. NOT HAPPY! hahaha..though, I will give myself a little credit by saying that the first 9 or 10 pounds came back super easily because of the way I was losing weight. It wasn't off for good yet and was just ready and willin to come back on if given the chance. And it got its chance when as soon as I found out I was pregnant, i was like BOOM! Let me eat! So.). If I can get away with not gaining more than 21 more pounds..I'll call that a smashing success (given that I was not eating healthily while pregnant with Maddox..nor was I exercising and I only gained 32 with him). But I *really* don't want to gain more than that...so I'm super willing to do what I can to keep those numbers down (in a healthy way) so that I'm not struggling to lose all of the weight afterwards. I figure if I put a cap at 21 more pounds..after the baby's born, I would pretty much just be at what I was on New Year's..which would then make me feel hopeful about it not taking forever to get back to where I was before getting pregnant. So..here's to crossed fingers!

Anyway, the whole new setup is taking some getting used to..but I think we all like it..and, to me, that's all that matters. I don't really care if people think it's weird to have my treadmill close-ish to the table. It is what it is and if it means I'll be getting more use out of all of those things that we paid such good money for? Yes. Absolutely yes.

And, the boys LOVE that they have more room to run around and drive their trucks in..which is very loud for me..but feels nice at the same time. I'm sure the neighbors *LOVE* the added noise. They're welcome. :)

ALSO! A very happy sweet 16 to my niece Lyndsay today! From your aunt who was just 11 when you were born. Precious! <3>

07-09-10

2010-07-09T14:46:00.002-05:00

There's a new topic over on The Grocery Game's message boards that had my ears perk up this morning. Bagged lunch ideas for school aged kids.

Amazingly, Calix is starting kindergarten next month (I say amazingly because I still don't understand how they're growing up. SCHOOL! Oh my gosh! He'll be dating soon! *throws up*)..he'll be turning 5 about a month and a half after school starts (which is different for me because I turned 6 about a month and a half after I started kindergarten..ah, the difference a month and a half makes when it comes to the cut off!). Orion and I are still pretty mushy about the whole idea of sending our babies off and letting other people help mold them and their brains. (Our babies! Not yours! Back off! Hahaha) When the school supply list was brought home, Orion was reading the list out loud, and though he wouldn't ever want me to say this, the man was tearing up. Awww..my precious darling! We just can't believe it. Would I keep my babies home forever if I could? ABSOLUTELY! Am I the kind of mom that can handle homeschooling? No. Do they need to socialize with lots of other little kids their age? Yes. So..okaaayyyy, go on, lil one..grow! (but don't forget about your poor mother who would do mostly anything for you!)

I got away from myself there for a second..just lots on my mind..lots going on around here..and I just want to spew it all out like a gift in front of your feet. You're welcome.

Anyway! Calix is starting kindergarten next month and when I brought him to pick out his school supplies (black marble notebooks! I remember! I remember!), I also let him pick out a lunch bag (read: he wanted character items..and I don't do that crap. Sorry, kiddo..you grow out of that sort of stuff too quickly and if I can get away with using your bookbag and lunch bag for a few more years? I will. Do you want to be in 2nd grade with a character you loved in kindergarten strapped to your back? Ugh, I hate character items..I think they're tacky. Just my opinion..sorry. He tried to pick out Toy Story bedding..I don't do character bedding, either. Nope. Mean mom, mom mean!). I remember my pink with yellow trim Land's End lunch bag my mother would stuff with yummies as an elementary student. I remember before reusable lunch bags were hip and being the ONLY kid in my class toting one around while everyone else either bought lunch or carried in a brown paper bag. My parents were (are) hippies..and forced the awesome (before it was awesome) upon their children before everyone else started catching on. It's hard to be a lunch bag trendsetter as a kid. It was embarrassing..but not really embarrassing. Know what I mean?

So he's got his hilariously large bookbag (even though it was one of the smallest non-character bags available) that I make him put on when I need a good chuckle (mean mom! Hahahahaha!!) and his sweet little blue lunch bag with a monkey ice pack (aww!) and now I'm wondering just what to stuff in there. Calix is..by far..the pickiest eater I've ever known. Ever. It's not like I can put fish sticks and nuggets in there and have them be edible by lunch time, ya know (ew!)? I've asked him for ideas and he's said things like "well, I like sandwiches" "what kind?" "umm..how about peanut butter and celery?" I'm pretty sure he got that idea from Wonder Pets and wouldn't actually eat such a thing if I really packed it up for him. While his little brother is super interested in fresh fruit and veggies and yummy snacks (he calls Colby cheese sticks "milky cheese" and who am I to correct something so adorable sounding?? I'm the same mom who has her kids call pastries "sweeties" because I think it is hilariously adorable to hear them ask in small voices "can we have a sweetie, mommy?" or sometimes I have them call me "mother" because in their small voices it sounds more like "motha" and it sounds like the little boy from Peter Pan..all British and sweet. It kills me!), Calix wants packaged..unhealthy eaties.

The way he feels loved? Gifts. If you do special things for him, he's the happiest kid in the whole wide world. In fact, the day I took him out to buy his uniforms and school supplies, we also picked up lunch and brought it to Orion's work where we ate with him and then the boys got to play on the playground until it was time to head home for naps and then after naps, we went back to the mall where they got to ride the dinosaur train and then we went to a restaurant for dinner. He declared that day "the best day ever!!". See what I mean? And I understand that feeling because I, myself, also feel loved when I get things I want (though, that's not my number one way of feeling loved..it's still high up on the list). So I'm trying to be more understanding instead of feeling like he's greedy and selfish. If you just spend time with him..whether it's reading books, playing games, or taking him somewhere..he's the happiest boy in the whole world. (Maddox is a loved by touch kind of person. He's the happiest when he's cuddling. Seriously. He wants to sit on your lap..or cuddle under a blanket with you while watching his favorite tv show). So taking the special things into consideration, we've decided to pack his lunch 3 times a week and let him buy lunch 2 times a week. Keep it special..but also let him feel like "wow! *I* get to buy my own lunch today!" big boy type of stuff.

So I need ideas for a picky kind of a kid. I've got a bunch of those Go-Gurt things in the freezer, and I've heard that if you freeze them and then send a kid off to school with one, it will be thawed and still cold by lunch time? So there's that. I've got a lot of those Kid Essentials shelf stable milk box things (he can't do juice..hurts his tummy)..and all kinds of snacky treat type things..but I can't make him peanut butter and honey EVERY day..there needs to be some kind of variety. Anyone out there who has kids..and super extra picky eaters..have any tips for bagged lunches? Anyone?

07-08-2010

2010-07-09T01:02:00.003-05:00

Had an appointment this afternoon to hear the baby's heartbeat! I hoped for an ultrasound..but apparently, they don't roll that way at Tripler. You get the one and only ultrasound at 20 weeks for measurements and to determine the gender of the lil person if you'd like..and that's it (unless there are issues, of course). I was going to put this video on Facebook like I usually do..but I asked Orion to like..NOT get my gross belly. All white and large and stretchmarky. Yuck. He did anyway. Husbands. But I did want this video for our records and what not..so it gets thrown into the ol blog for quick reference (anyone else do that? You wonder when something happened and remember you wrote about it in your blog so you quickly scan through to find what you need? I do it ALL the time). I figure if the fam wants to see it..here ya go.

04-03-10

2010-04-03T15:09:00.003-05:00

I'm one of those people that when my interest is sparked..I go in full force. If I'm in? I'm in all the way (which is probably part of the reason why loyalty is so important to me. But that's another issue for another time haha). My new interest? Saving money. Buying a lot..paying very little for it. Funny how I wasn't into this when we needed it the most (our poor days)! Anyway, so I've been following The Grocery Game's message boards and everyone put up their April grocery budgets..and because I'm still very new at this..my monthly budget is still the same as usual. Orion made me a spending and saving spreadsheet (gotta involve the man! He's SO into this you have no idea! Makes it so much easier!) and every time I go out shopping, I write in how much I've spent and next to it, how much I've saved. Last month, we saved $526.68! Granted, we spent that other places..but it was still nice to see that huge number for only participating for a couple of weeks!

So far, this weekend, we've saved $221.89..hooray!

I made a trip to Walgreens that looked like this:

Total spent (OOP..Out of Pocket..): $53.73

Total saved: $54.19 PLUS we got back $11 in RR (register rewards for those new to Walgreens) so that's like saving $65.19!

Sweet, right? I mean that Clean and Clear blackhead eraser thing is usually around $21 by itself but by me going to Clean and Clear's website and printing out a $5 coupon for that same item and then seeing it on sale for $9.99, I only ended up paying $4.99 for a $21 product! Sweet!

Yesterday, we tried out the Hickam AFB commissary because we drove by the Pearl Harbor commy and it was super crowded. I'm not into crowds..they give me anxiety. This was my first time in the Hickam commy..and ya know? I think I like it more than the Pearl Harbor commy. It seems like the frozen foods section is SO much bigger and has a way larger variety than the one closer to us has and ya know? The shelves aren't all End of the World Bare like the Pearl Harbor commissary's are. So..I think that's where we'll be going from now on.

I ended up using 60 coupons in the commy..thank goodness I had such a sweetheart of a woman checking me out! Something I wish the commissaries did that other stores do is include your in-store savings on your receipt along with your coupon savings. The larger numbers make me feel better!

Total OOP: $126.91

Coupon savings: $56.20

My cart was overflowing and my freezers are both full..so I KNOW we would have spent way more than $183.11 but ya know..awesome deals paired with coupons? Pshh..win! Our cashier was sweet as can be (which is hard to come by in the coupon world..seriously. They tend to sigh like you're a huge inconvenience to their lives. Whatever. I'm saving money..and I'm actually making you guys money by even using coupons. You're welcome.) and even told me to keep up the good work when we were done!

It's been a good weekend so far and it's not over yet! The Easter Bunny hops tonight!

Purchase vs. Transaction

2010-03-27T00:53:00.004-05:00

I'm so annoyed. SO ANNOYED!

Hi, I haven't written in a while. I'm sorry.

So I'm like..3 weeks in on this whole couponing adventure I've taken on. I've had awesome experiences..most of the time. I remember when I didn't used to even CHECK my receipts. I remember walking out of the store over a $3-$5 discrepancy because, whatever, $3. Who cares? Why would I make more work for someone and be THAT customer over a measly $3-$5? It's not that important to me. Wasn't until I started couponing and realized just how much stuff I can buy with $3-$5! Holy geeze!

So, I needed to go out and buy a couple of birthday presents for the birthday party the boys were invited to attend tomorrow afternoon. Cool, I'll just bring my coupon binder with me and get some other good deals I've been thinking about since we're going to be at Target anyway. (wanna see my binder?? You do?! Okay!)

don't mind the loose coupons that I haven't put away yet.

Gloriousss!!!!!

So, everything's going great..I've gotten some *awesome* deals and then I get to the register. We're the only ones in our lane..the woman looks jolly enough. I even tried to do her a favor and put each coupon (or couple of coupons..like a Target coupon with a Manufacturer's) on top of the item it belongs with. Tried to save her some trouble. Then? Then I said "I have a question about this item right here.." and asked. Oh, no. A manager had to come up and go investigate for me and everything. Look, I try my best to read each coupon and compare it to the item on the shelf to make sure I'm not screwing the company out of money or cause trouble..ya know. There was a little more confusion..but whatever, we got through the transaction. So we left..and I'm thinking..ya know..$42 just seems like more than I anticipated..by at least $10..let's see what's going on here. I'm tired and sick and hungry and annoyed anyway..so when I see that she charged me for 2 Johnson's Buddies when I only bought 1..charged me for 4 Reese's cups when I only bought 3..and didn't use one of the $4 coupons I handed to her..I was like..okay, let's turn around and head back. That's not something I'm just gonna go home over. Nono!

Orion drops me at the door, I go in and wait in line at Customer Service. "Hi, I was just here like..5 minutes ago.." and I show her on my receipt what my issues are. I figured it was just going to be a quick "oops..sorry" and hand me back the money I was owed. Nope. She goes to the register I checked out at..digs through the drawer and grabs all of the coupons I'd handed over..as well as talked to the checkout woman and called a manager over. Roughly 10 minutes later, they all marched back over to me and the manager starts to get things worked out. Okay..$4 back for the unscanned coupon. $1.30 back for the Johnson's Buddies..$.90 back for the extra scanned Reese's cup..(and something else that I can't remember because my receipt blew out of the car after I got back in. The receipt even quit! It plum gave up!)..and then? Then she tries to tell me some bullcrap. Total bullcrap and I KNOW IT'S CRAP but cannot prove my case and I'm SO tired and SO hungry that I give in and just say "ya know..I don't even care anymore. It's late..I just want to go home. You're wrong..but let's get this done." Employees are giving one another THAT look..that "we've got a bitch in line" look. You know the one. You know what line she tried to give me? If you use coupons..you might be able to guess.

"Ma'am, for these other items (friggin..super clearanced pads that I could NOT pass up on. The deal was too great! and the Reese's), it says one coupon per purchase. Do you want to return those items or do you just want to pay the difference?"

WHAT WHAT WHAT?! So I say "right. I have 2 coupons for the Always pads and bought 2 packages of them. I have 3 coupons for the Reese's and I bought 3 of them. Each one is a purchase." and she said "no, they would need to be purchased separately" and I said "no, it doesn't say one per transaction..it says per purchase. Just about all coupons say per purchase. Am I supposed to buy everything separately?" and she's NOT giving in and I'm like..whatever..it's like $2..just get me out of this freaking store. So after she gives me back the money I was owed..she seriously did another transaction and had me pay the $2.20 that she believed I owed her. Sigh. I said "I'm not trying to be sneaky about this, ya know..I know how coupons work and I didn't do anything wrong.." but I told her I was sorry for all of the trouble..and I left.

That's when my receipt jumped ship.

I had to check online JUST in case I was wrong. JUST IN CASE I was uninformed.

Guess what? Yup..I wasn't wrong. I CAN USE ONE COUPON PER ITEM PURCHASED

So now, I will be spending a small amount of time looking up each store's coupon policy and printing it out to keep in my beautiful green coupon binder..because that was crazy and made me feel crazier.

(in a side note..as I was walking down aisles and scouting awesome deals with my binder spread eagle in my cart, a woman said to me "that's a really nice coupon binder you have there" and I said "thanks" and she said "you read all of those coupon sites, don't you?" "I sure do!" and she was all "I can tell" and we laughed. There ARE cute moments like that when I go out shopping, too. I pretty much never have a problem..but apparently, I need to be more prepared for them! Because try to avoid it as much as I want..they will happen.)

So..manager lady at the Target in Honolulu (Michelle.), you will not deter me. Try as you might, I WILL be back with my coupons a plenty! :)

Because Sometimes You Need to Witness the Love

2010-02-25T16:05:00.004-05:00

My post for today will be in the form of video.

Fort Time! from xximojoangelxxi on Vimeo.

Have a lovely day! :)

He's..wait for it..not Lost anymore! hahahaha

2010-02-24T13:33:00.010-05:00

Nerd alert. Listen, so I don't think I've ever actually gone up to a famous person of any sort and gotten a picture with them or anything. I've seen a few scattered here and there..but I've always left them alone. Who wants to be bothered *again*, ya know?

Last night was different.

Amy H. asked me if I wanted to go check out the Trump Tower condos for one of her sisters (whose name is Amanda and, say, I have a sister named Amanda! And she has sisters with the middle names Lynn, Beth, and Ann and I'm like..hey, say..me too and one of them's me! hahaha) who will be spending a few months down here for work. I'd just gotten home from a cleaning at the dentist and we were already having a conversation over texts so it was like..sure, why not? I'll go.

So I took some pictures so they could be sent off to her sister..

oh, look! Hi, me!

And I asked the kind gent who was showing us around inappropriate questions. Ya know..like if I ask the concierge to cuddle..will they? Does it cost more to throw a leg over them while cuddling? Ya know..that sort of thing. It tends to get a little too serious and stuffy in those places, ya know..SOMEONE'S gotta ease the tension. That's where I come in.

Afterwards, she treated me to dinner (nice!). We wandered around Waikiki for a little bit..trying to decide on a place..and as we were standing in front of Giovanni Pastrami looking at their menu, Amy says to me "it's that guy from Lost!" "what..?" but by this point, I couldn't see a face..only the back of his head as he walked past us. She shouted "hey you! Turn around!" of course he didn't (clue #1..because what normal person DOESN'T turn around when someone calls out towards you?) and so I say "wanna follow him? Let's follow him." and I pulled out my Blackberry to take some pictures

He's the one with the..circle..around his body hehehe

He sat down at the bar with his friend and we were like "okay..that was fun. Let's go eat" so we headed BACK to Giovanni's and after talking a bit we were like.."wait, what place did he go into? Let's go eat there!" before heading back to..PF Changs, turned out.

The wait was 15-30 but we were welcome to go sit at the bar (!!) if we would like. So we creeped up behind him and it was one of those things where you know he can see you out of his peripheral..but he's having a conversation with his friend person and I don't want to interrupt. So we're standing behind him and Amy says "you do it!" "I will..I will..hold on, they're talking..I don't want to be rude.." or something along those lines haha. I wait for, what seems to be, a break in conversation and I say "excuse me..I'm sorry. I don't mean to bother you, but can we get a picture with you, please?" and he says "of course!" and wraps his handsome arm around my shoulder:

and Amy's like "the flash isn't on" and I say "just leave it..I don't want the flash to hurt his eyes..he's just little!" (dude, I know. I KNOW. Embarrassing.) but then I fix it and turn the flash on anyway..and I say to him "thanks so much for doing this. I just started watching a few months ago..I'm a big fan" he thanks me and then his friend pipes up and says "you just started watching what exactly..?" and feeling like *maybe* we were wrong and *maybe* he's just a guy who looks EXACTLY like Mark Pellegrino I stumbled and said "uh, I don't know" like trying to brush it off and not wanting to be all "wait..you're Jacob in LOST, aren't you?"..so I felt a little flustered and then Amy gets this picture:

..he looks like he thought it was kinda funny haha and I'm like "eek! am I taking a picture with a random person again?!"

And then it was my turn to get a picture of Amy with him:

way cute!

We said thanks and left him and his friend to their beers and we went back, again, to Giovanni Pastrami where we ordered yummy food and giggled over what just happened. It wouldn't have happened had it not been for her noticing him and my ballsy "let's follow him" attitude.

I had a blast with her..*and* I got to know her a little better. Fun night!

Catching Up: Maddox's 3rd Birthday

2010-02-17T15:20:00.003-05:00

Somewhere along the way, this little pile of love turned 3

I don't know how it happened! There's barely a trace of baby left in this boy but that doesn't stop me from scooping him up and cradling him every day. He's still my baby and I'm glad that, for now, he holds still and lets me cuddle him.

I love that when he's sad, he grabs his blanket and comes over to me and says with a frown "I need to cuddle"..total music to my ears. Yes, my darling!

I love his compassion for others. If his older brother is crying, he automatically starts up with his tears and says "my Calix is sad!". If I'm hurt, he cries because "I don't want you to be sad" (which totally breaks my heart).

I love how he's such a good eater and would rather have a slice of toast and some fruit over junk for breakfast (or a salad over chicken for lunch) ANY DAY.

I love how he hates to be photographed..but that will never stop me from taking pictures of him!

I love how he's so daring! He will hurl his body from couch to pillows on the floor..he will jump down the stairs or belly crawl the whole way down. (That kid needs to be in sports for sure)

I love how when he's been scolded, he shuts down..totally. (like drops his arms and whatever he was holding and slumps his shoulders..and is totally unresponsive to anything until he's done)

I love how he randomly looks at me and says "I love you, mommy"..it feels *so* sincere.

I love how when it's time to change his diaper (we're working on the potty training thing.), he'll back up as far as possible and take a running leap into my arms and giggle the whole time. (but be careful, because if you're not paying attention you can get smacked in the face with his head.)

I love how if I hold out my hand and say "put your tummy in my hand" he totally will EVERY TIME even though he knows it means he will be tickled. He loves it.

I love how he sticks up for himself (and his brother when needed). You cannot tell this kid to feel one way if he doesn't want to..that's for sure.

He's so fun and SUCH a tough little boy and while I'll always wish he were my chubby snugly baby, I'm enjoying watching him grow into a wonderful person. I'm cheering him on the whole way..and if he wants a cuddle with his mom no matter how big and strong and tough he gets..I'll always be available for one because he'll *always* be my chubby snugly baby..even if I'm the only one who sees it.

I love YOU, Maddox! Happy 3rd birthday, darling boy!

(for more pictures of the day..see Facebook)

Catching Up: Fun with the Fam

2010-02-16T15:28:00.005-05:00

On Thursday, we finally gave in and bought a nav system for the van (I get tense when I have to drive somewhere I've never been..even if it seems really simple. I will even try to get out of going at all if I can. Yep. I think I have some PTSD from that car accident all of those years ago...just a theory)..and because Orion had a 4 day weekend, we took it out for a spin on Friday. It came up with all of these attractions on the island we've never been to..so we started to check them off.

First, there was the Valley of the Temples

And then there was a scare going up Pali Highway..where we were so low on gas and there wasn't another station for 4 miles. Our palms were very sweaty and we were pretty tense..but, we made it to the gas station. We looked back up at the highway and it was storming so much up there that there was no point in going back because the pictures would have sucked. So we hit the next one on the list that we'd never been to and it brought us to Makapu'u Point. We've driven by it many times..just never pulled over.

Gorgeous view! Windy..but gorgeous.

I then set the GPS to go to another place we'd never been..but didn't tell Orion where. "Just go where she says"...it brought us to Hanauma Bay. After a brief video (with song lyrics that had me church style laughing in the back row), we were granted permission to go down to the beach. It was raining. Boo. So we took a few pictures with intentions of heading back on a sunny day (free for military!).

It was time for dinner, so we headed home buzzing from the fun time we had with our small family. This is one of our favorite things to do. Just load everyone up in the van and not really know what we're going to go see or do..just have an adventure..and always *always* bring the camera with us.

Next on catching up..Maddox's birthday!

Smiles on the Horizon

2010-02-11T16:32:00.005-05:00

I had an appointment with my new dentist on Tuesday. I brought my x-rays in like I was asked to do..and guess what? It didn't even matter. It didn't matter because the x-rays we'd waited so long for..were digital. So when they were printed out, you couldn't see everything. I ended up having to shell out the $90 for new x-rays anyway (my insurance covers x-rays once every 5 years). Not a big deal and at least they're new and up-to-date..which is what I preferred, anyway. I'm just bugged that so much time was wasted in getting them to me..when I didn't end up needing them at all.

We went over what needed to be done and how much it was going to cost (round abouts, anyway) and then she asked if I was in any pain. I said yes and pointed my biggest problem out to her. It's, what I've suspected for a long time, to be the source of everything else that's wrong with me. They do say the health of your mouth is an indicator as to how healthy your body is. Or something along those lines. Guess what? My mouth..is not in awesome shape..and neither are my inner workings.

I have had an intense earache on the right side of my head for about..7 years. Meds didn't work. I wouldn't even let my husband kiss or even whisper anywhere near it. Totally sensitive. Then, last year, I developed a middle ear infection of sorts that has messed with my balance and causes me to get extremely dizzy if I turn my head too much to the left..and forget about sleeping on my left side. It doesn't happen. I will spin and spin until I vomit. Yep, ya'll..almost a year living with that one. It's a shame when you start to get used to something because you feel like there's just no hope. And the headaches! Ohhh, ya'll *know* about the headaches. On and on and on the list goes. I'm 27 years old..this is ridiculous.

I was then set up for an appointment to remove that problem..the next morning. Yesterday. I was a ball of nerves. I'm talkin..I took Pepto on the way there I was so nervous. It was a fairly quick procedure..the doctor ran into a small issue, I guess. The roots went up a little higher than he anticipated or something along those lines..so the drill was pulled out and he had to like..drill into my bone. I thought I heard him say something about bone grafting? But I could be wrong. I know he was forced to stitch me up..when it wasn't planned originally. A lot of stitches, too..like..it looks like a fishnet up in there hahaha. I said "it'll be nice to see if my earache and headaches clear up now that that mess is gone" and he said "they really should" (!!!! Oh, hopeful!!) He put me on some Amoxicillin and some kind of mouth wash and sent me on my way. I return next week to remove stitches.

After that, we have a cleaning and some fillings and then I go on the 5th of April to talk about getting me set up with Invisalign to straighten everything out..and when those come off we then start the couple of implants (I guess you can't straighten your teeth after implants..which is why the straightening is coming first)..and ta dah! Bright, straight, sparkling teeth! Horray!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

^^I wrote all of that on Thursday and cannot remember, for the life of me, how I was going to end it. I just know that, so far, I haven't had another headache when I was getting migraines DAILY. It made life pretty hard for me..but I internalized it as much as I could because who wants to ruin everyone else's good time, ya know? My dizzies are easing up a bit..not totally gone yet..but for sure gettimg better. I'm going to go ahead and suggest that those problems stemmed from my mouth now that the problem is gone stuff can heal. Wouldn't that be nice?

I have a lot of things to write about..but want to keep the topics separate. So. Til next time!

02-09-2010

2010-02-09T16:25:00.003-05:00

My boys are into being "super helpers". They run around saying "super helpers to the rescue!!". Calix's new thing to do is when he's going to bed for the night he leans in and says to me "if you need my help, I will help you, okay? If you need my help, I will break down the door and come help you, okay?" and I always smile (while giggling on the inside) and give him a serious face "okay, Calix. If I need your help, I will call for you". Sometimes I do call for them (like if Orion is tickling me too much). They like to feel like super helpers, after all.

Besides, they come complete with blanket cape. And what mom can say no to that?

**As soon as I hit publish, I went to go throw a load of laundry in to be washed and saw that Maddox had already taken it upon himself to put all of the dirty laundry into the machine for me! These kids are the greatest!**

02-08-2010

2010-02-08T14:11:00.003-05:00

I cannot believe it's been 3 whole months since I've written anything in here. That's sad to me because I've been such a good blogger since 2003 (and journaler since I was a kid..but those journals are long gone..never to be seen again. Depressing.). Back then, I used Deadjournal..and then moved to Livejournal (once upon a time, I had an account on Diaryland..but I totally don't remember any of that info so all of my posts on there are long gone. So sad). A gap like that is pretty embarrassing for me.

I'm not saying I have a whole lot to talk about today because my mind is still a little jumbled with thoughts from last night. I was feeling pretty down about myself and feeling like no one around here really wants to hang out with me and blah blah blah woe is me pity party for one kind of stuff. It's embarrassing, really. I've been feeling like I don't fit in and what not..so I've been keeping to myself and doing the family thing around these parts. I'm okay with that..I went a year and a half here without any friends at all..and sometimes, I just like to be by myself anyway. A sweet friend talked me out of my yucky thoughts last night and helped me to realize I just need to spend more time with these people. She's right..I do. I've always known that. I guess it's just easier to throw in the towel than it is to actually do the work, right? Haha.

So what's coming up around these parts? Well, tomorrow, I have an appointment with my new dentist out here. I FINALLY got my dental records from the other dentist in Kentucky..and we've been waiting for those before we could even do a cleaning. I know. How annoying..especially since it took them MONTHS to get them out to me (and many phone calls on my part). **Self reminder - bring dental records with you next time you move. It'll make your life easier.** I'm not sure if they'll do much else besides a cleaning tomorrow..but this is officially the start of my new smile. New and improved! I can't wait! It'll be a painful process knowing how much work I actually need done..but I am so amped for the results that I'm not even considering the pain and healing time. Horray!

Saturday is Maddox's 3rd birthday! We're not doing a big ol party for him..just doing the family thing. A day at the bounce room place in the Pearlridge mall..and whatever else his little heart desires. He can't really make up his mind on what kind of cake he would like..because every time I give him options, he likes them. All of them. So..I might try my hand at an ice cream cake. I don't know..I don't know. Going into this thing blind because Maddox will be happy with anything..seriously. Calix is very specific..Maddox just goes with the flow.

Sunday is Valentine's Day! I have thoughts of making the entire day about love and having it be about our little family instead of just about me and Orion. We did the romantic dinner for 2 thing last year..how sweet would it be to bring our 2 little valentines with us out to dinner or whatever? We'll see. :)

Also, Orion is heading out to Japan for the month of March. I have personal goals to meet while he's away. I'll have too much time on my hands to NOT meet them, ya know? No excuses! This is the year to get it done!

Okay, I have chores to get done around these parts. Consider me back (didn't I say that last time?).

November 2, 2009

2009-11-02T16:39:00.004-05:00

I'm sorry I've become such a bad blogger. I've been busy, yes..but never so busy that I can't sit down for a couple of minutes to write SOMETHING. Other things I'd rather do, I guess. Distracted..lazy..tired. So very tired.

What's been going on..well, I've been to the podiatrist twice so far (and my doctor is incredibly good looking. He can't help it.). He's given me 2 steroid shots (one on each visit) to help relieve this plantar fasciitis pain I've had since June..and with the last visit a boot. Dude, I know. And I'm not even allowed to walk around in it. I'm supposed to sleep in it and every time I'm on the couch it's supposed to be strapped on. I also have to do foot stretches 3 times a day and I'm still taking the pills for the inflammation that comes with the whole thing. While it still hurts a little...it feels better than it did so we're hoping for my next appointment on the 16th to be the last. Fingers crossed!

I've also been hanging out with a new group of girls. I think I'm the oldest in the group..but not by much (like a few months haha). We try to meet up once a week for coffee or eaties or whatever and other things are planned on the side. They're a nice group of girls and it doesn't feel so lonely anymore now that I've found them, ya know? My plan is for all of us (or whoever can make it) to do it up Sex and the City style and hit the town for my birthday next week (!!)..but probably on the 13th so Orion can have his wife on her actual birthday. So that'll all be fun..I'm pretty excited.

Orion left on the 20th for WLC (finally! It's only taken a YEAR to go haha). He graduates on Wednesday the 4th..I'll be there in a cute dress taking pictures of my darling! Time flew by..but time was also named Abby and she was in a constant state of drippy sweat. Yo, being a single mother..or playing a single mother for a couple of weeks is HARD when the kids are not itty bitty anymore. Calix has had an especially hard time with daddy being away..and golly knows I've been trying my best to make things happy and merry around here..but you know, your day can only be as good as your attitude is. And when you have a crappy attitude and you make all kinds of evil 'if I had a knife I would stab you' kinds of faces at your mother and scream out in public that she's hitting you when she's buckling you into your carseat so you don't DIE because believe it or not, child..I LOVE YOU. When you act like I'm kidnapping you at Walmart instead of just trying to leave the store without buying you a special treat for not taking a nap (I have ears, my darling)..when you beat your brother up and consistently go play in the upstairs hallway well after bedtime..when you beg for something specific to eat and mommy makes that thing for you and then you refuse to eat ANY of it..when you hurl chairs at mom..when you outright disobey mom..when you bring your mother to embarrassment and tears in public or at home on multiple occasions because she is just exhausted from all of this..I'm sorry, dear..but your life is going to be hard. There will be plenty of corner time, your toys will be taken away, and you will absolutely get spankings (as much as it hurts my heart to do so).

I honestly believe his behavior is because he misses Orion so much..but doesn't know how to express it. He'll call at night and Calix will say he doesn't want to talk to him..like he's too good to talk to him..and when I hang up, he'll cry that he wants to talk to daddy. That sort of thing. Either that, or this child and I will be the mother and son who are in a constant battle with one another..all throughout our lives. I'm way too tired for the latter. I want a happy relationship with BOTH of my sons. I want to be able to scoop them up when they are hurt and check out what's going on. Calix screams and pulls away and says "don't touch me! don't look at me!!" and then cries about the splinter that's in his foot and he won't let me pull out for him. It sure is frustrating.

Anyway, we're trying. I'm always sweaty from all of the running around..but I'm still here. I've threatened to run away..but I guess that's frowned upon.

I've finally started to work out. I had to wait a few days because I couldn't take my eyes off of Calix for more than 2 minutes in the beginning without there being some kind of something awful happening. So that's helping me to lose more weight than I was without it..which is freaking awesome. I love that number ticking down to my goal! I'm still about 25 pounds away from the goal..but you know what? 25 seems like nothing compared to the initial scary 60. It's just that it's the food time of year and with delicious eats everywhere..it's just taking a little longer than I anticipated. But that's okay..I'm still proud of me for still dropping the weight..even if it gets a little slow for a couple of months. I had gained 4 pounds right before Orion left..from all of the fast food and what not..but since he's been gone, I've lost those 4 as well as another 4..but then gained a pound from the Halloween party I threw but then lost that pound. And I haven't weighed myself yet today so I'll check tomorrow morning..but I feel like I've probably lost a bit more. I'm running at a faster pace..I ran 3/4 of a mile this morning before going back to speed walking..but the thing is? I felt like I could have run longer. How awesome is that? I'm so proud!

I'm too tired to re-post the Halloween pictures (the majority of them are on Facebook if you want to see them)..here have this one:

We had a super awesome time..and I'm pretty impressed with how my first party like that turned out. I need more practice, for sure..but I don't think it was a bad one by any means.

Okay, I'll try to be better about this. You'll at least get graduation pictures on Wednesday..so there's always that to look forward to. And kissing Orion. At least I look forward to that one..if anyone else does, we are going to have some problems. Step up. hahahah

Hey, happy birthday, Emily!!

10-05-09

2009-10-05T14:11:00.004-05:00

Over the weekend we pulled out the Halloween decorations..both old and newly purchased. We have a few more things to go up (like spider webbing and what not)..so we're not quite done yet. But it is still early so I don't feel rushed. October can go by smoothly now..all costumes have been purchased and the majority of the decor is up. My mind can go back to being frazzled about Christmas.

some tombstones, a mummy (with a sensor..so when you walk by he moans all mummy-like haha), a hanging skeleton, a jack-o-lantern, a skull in the window, and light up skulls on the path. We tried to keep everything out of the actual front yard so that it wouldn't be a problem for the yard care guys.

The boys checking out the yard the first night we lit it up

On Sunday, we headed back to the beach. I don't think we spent nearly enough time there this summer. I wanted to go like every weekend..but it didn't happen. But while it's still warm enough..and before the rainy season starts, we're trying to get as much in as possible. Swimming is awesome exercise for me and it doesn't hurt my foot to do so..so that's a total plus.

Maddox and Orion..I love these pictures!

I spent a large chunk of my swim time doing underwater handstands. I love that Orion got a couple of pictures of it..and I love that this is one of my favorite pictures of the day. I love the colors..and I love what it means to me. Freedom. Silliness. I love that I'm a month away from being 27 (!!) and I still act the same in large bodies of water as I did when I was like 13. I love that my husband loves me for these reasons. I keep it light.

This is also one of my very favorites from yesterday..the coloring is just so perfect! I'm sad that I didn't get any close up pictures of him on the board..like I did with Maddox..because Calix just looked like a total surfer boy and it was ADORABLE.

Orion and Calix going out for a swim.

And last night for dinner I made sweet potato fries and hamburgers:

And a tip for how to keep the calories on the not as high as they could be side? Only use one side of a wheat bun! Use at least 85% lean ground beef (that's 93%). So freaking delicious. I swear, one day I'd like to open a diner..and I'd serve all of the delicious yummies..PLUS healthier versions of the yummies. It's a dream of mine. Ya know.

For lunch today I'm making butternut squash soup..and I'm adding couscous, spinach, and grilled chicken pieces to it. Yum! I'll probably show you later.

Also..Hey, happy birthday, Kaiti!

09-29-09

2009-09-29T23:19:00.003-05:00

A few days ago, Orion asked me if I'd ever taken before pictures. Like..before I got serious about losing weight. I surely did. I remember taking them and thinking 'man..why am I even bothering with this? I'm just going to regret having these fat pictures' but I don't. I'm glad I took them because while it's not the end point in all of this? We're halfway there (are you singing Bon Jovi now? Because I am)! Halfway to my goal and anything more than that is just a bonus. My Wii Fit tells me I'm no longer obese (but I do wish they would change my Mii's body type with that achievement! Grr!) and? I'm no longer in the 200+ range. That's right. I'm in the 100's (the very top but still..STILL!)..and you know what? I weighed 205 when Orion came home from Afghanistan..so take THAT! Wooo!!! I'm still barely working out, though, because my foot STILL freaking hurts. I can work out just fine..run and all..but then I want to cry for the rest of the day. It's not good times..but my podiatrist appointment isn't until the 5th..so there's not much I can do except continue to feed myself correctly...with the occasional fast food slip. Whatever, I'm human.

Anyway! So when he asked me that, I put that same outfit on for reference and took a couple of pictures. I was a little bloated from hormones and like..beer..but whatever. I think you can still see a difference..an obvious one.

Before: 230

Midway

Who's feeling good? This girl. I hope to be at my goal by New Year's..or at least very close to it. I feel like it's totally do-able.

The 4th 27th (Calix's birthday)

2009-09-28T19:31:00.015-05:00

So yesterday the one who made me a mother turned 4. Sigh. I still don't know how that's possible..but it's true. Oh, little man was totally amped to have just about everything go his way for one whole day.

The day before, he'd told me he wanted waffles for breakfast. Absolutely, darling. I haven't had homemade waffles in months..total treat for everyone. So while I was preparing them that morning, he went to the cupboard and pulled out these little 100 calorie packs of cookies and asked if he could have them. I was torn. "Can you wait to have those for snack time instead?" "no..I want to eat them right now" well..it IS his birthday and we DID say that pretty much anything was game..so..sure. Have a little pack of cookies while I make you waffles. Maddox got one, too. But I have to say, I was impressed because he ate his entire massive waffle. I can't even finish one! (Ya know..anymore)

After breakfast, we pulled out the cards that'd been sent to him

from Orion's mother..

My mother and Calix's Gramps (with cold hard cash that he cannot wait to spend) (thanks Nana and Gramps!)

And I gave him a little robot card, too that said "Happy 4th birthday, my darling! May this year be full of fun, learning, & adventure for you. I love you every day! Love, Mommy"

We then set about getting dressed and packed up for the beach..as per little man's request. I have to say, I haven't been to the beach since before I started losing weight..and let me just tell you how much easier it was for me to not feel like everyone was staring at the big girl..because now I'm not fat..just chubby (and I do have before and midway progress pictures..but that's another post). We had a fabulous time. Calix and I played in the sand and made sculptures and we went swimming..except he can't swim yet..just holds onto my hands and kick kick kicks. But it was very relaxed and just..ah..nice.

...that's me way out there haha

off to get some water for sand sculptures!

he waits so patiently haha

"I've got some water, mommy!"

did you know it wasn't until year 25 in my life until I learned about water in buckets and THEN putting sand in? Ya know..it makes better castles and what not that way. I saw it on a show. Ya know..professional sand castle makers or something.

Orion and Maddox floating around

The best part about the beach this time? No one got burnt. Not even a little bit. Lagoon #4, we'll see you next weekend. And this time I'm bringing snorkeling gear.

After the beach, we came home and cleaned ourselves off. Calix decided he wanted peanut butter and jelly for lunch..and then naps all around.

After naps, it was time to bust open the pinata Orion's mom sent (I thought about getting one but thought maybe he was still too young to be swinging a stick like that. Orion's mother didn't know about this..but sent a pinata with the pull string trap door thing)

keep pulling!

yay!! candies and stickers and confetti..oh my gosh the confetti. I'm just glad the correct string was on the birthday boy's end.

After the pinata fun..it was time for presents! (Now, Orion and I discussed the night before how we thought the day should go. We wanted the fun to last all day..and we wanted him to be able to open presents and still have daylight to play with them and also not be distracted by so many other things, ya know? I think this order worked out perfectly for us..so it may end up being just how it goes from now on)

There have been so many of my kids' birthdays that I'm just not a part of..picture-wise. Orion was keen on this and stole the camera so that I wouldn't be sad about that..again.

wooden stacking robots from Maddox (I'll do an entire post about those guys in the near future..they are *awesome*)

I just like this picture and love those shoes

Interactive Wall-E from daddy

Interactive EVE from mommy (these guys are cool on their own but when you put them together..they interact with one another! AND you can talk to them and they'll respond in their own way. Like..I was all "I love you, EVE!" and she started to giggle but then put up her gun, her eyes got serious and she started making shooting sounds hahahah)

Daddy was there, too!

making them hold hands..

He then played for a while and requested McDonald's for dinner. What a total Calix's favorite foods kind of day hahaha. After dinner? Cake!

Next time, I really need to pay attention to the frosting. It was so..thin. Like every time I would spread it onto the cake it would start sliding down. Made it kind of difficult. Little robot man was supposed to look like this but I opted out of using Cool Whip..the bigger dragees didn't show up in time..and the shoppette around the corner didn't have mini Oreos so I used mini Grasshopper cookies or whatever. He's still okay..and ya know, it's always the inside the counts, right? And he was very yummy!

belting out Happy Birthday to the little man

make a wish, darling!

yay!!!

his slice request was the belly. That's so like him..a slice? Any slice? Okay, give me the middle. hahaha loves it!

We all had a wonderful time..and this was confirmed when he was heading up to bed and came to give me a hug and a kiss. I kissed him and looked at his face and asked if he'd had a good birthday. He said "my birthday was very special. Thank you, mommy" ohhhh golly!

The 26 hours I was in labor with you were very much worth it, my love.

09-23-09

2009-09-23T13:39:00.006-05:00

About a week ago, I was reading an issue of Good Housekeeping..and I love to see what they give props to. Sometimes I try those items out..sometimes I already have..and sometimes there's just no use for them in my life. Well, they were talking about E.L.F (eyeslipsface.com) and how much they loved their products and then? Then they busted out the price tag. Their regular line is $1 per item..their Studio line is like $3-$5 per item and they also have a Minerals line and a line for the preteens (but I'm sure there are adults out there who love that line..just not my thing.) called Sugar Kiss. I started watching reviews on Youtube about it..everyone was raving..the biggest downside to E.L.F everyone said? Was their shipping time. Okay..I can wait this supposed 2 weeks to try out products that are like a buck each. So I ordered a few of their products. A test run. If I didn't like them? Whatever, it was just a few bucks..not a big deal.

To my surprise, I had a package from Elf in my mailbox on Saturday! What what what? 4 days? It only took 4 days for shipping (I'd ordered on Wednesday)? I live in Hawaii..they're based in New York! I was seriously expecting it to take 2-3 weeks..because everyone said it would. I love getting packages in the mail! I love makeup! WOOHOO!

I love that liquid eyeliner (in Ash..I'm ordering more colors next week) and the therapeutic conditioning balm. The mascara (Earth and Water mascara duo..one side is regular the other is waterproof) is okay..but I prefer a more volumizing mascara (that's one of the items I'm ordering next week to try out)

This is the Studio line's Large Makeup Collection..this was not a dollar. It sells for $40 but I had a coupon code for 50% off so I couldn't say no, really. I've always loved big makeup kits like this..I don't care. So many colors to play with..loves it.

(I'd also ordered a couple of nail polish shades and like..eye makeup remover pads. Nothing too exciting there..but I do have to say I'm in love with their Punk Purple shade.)

And that's another thing..there are SO many coupon codes out there to save all kinds of money on these already really super inexpensive products..and to get free things thrown in with your order. But, I wish you could use more than one coupon code at a time. Not a bunch of them..but like..even 2 at once would be cool (like to save a few bucks but if the amount you're spending is still that to get a free gift, I wish you could do that too). At any rate..I like them a lot so far and have 41 more products in my shopping cart to purchase next week.

I've been playing in the large kit..hehehe. I'm so scared of putting colors on my lids (besides like vanilla, browns, and light purples..stuff I know looks good)..but I'm always so tempted to. I admire the women who bust out the risky colors! So I'm trying. A little bit. Ya know..without looking like a street walker. Today, I thought I would call the pallet I chose Ode to Amanda..one of my sisters. She's one of those women who are totally not afraid to add some color. I miss her and love her to pieces so I did this:

I'm a little burnt from Sunday's events haha..and starting to peel from it..and hormonal and breaking out a bit..so the skin is not in the best condition today. But that's okay because I am wearing a super pretty shade of green eyeshadow and this gorgeous pink lip stain (which, honestly, for me? Lasts the majority of the day..and that NEVER happens for me).

The husband thinks it's sexy. :)

Also..Happy Birthday, Mike!!

09-21-09

2009-09-21T14:31:00.007-05:00

We had an Air Force kind of a weekend around here. It started out on Friday. I was sitting on the couch with the laptop watching episodes of Lost (I love you, Netflix) and Orion was on this computer playing..I don't know..a WWII submarine game or something while the babies were napping and I heard some jets fly by. It happens daily around here..not a big deal if a couple of jets whiz by. But it kept happening. Jet after jet..and some were flying so low that it was shaking our house. After a while, I was all..'just what is going on??' and I went outside to see jets flying in diamond formations and doing all kinds of tricks. I grabbed my camera. Neighbors were coming out and watching the show..some were also taking pictures. A few would fly super low and buzz us with their afterburner on..so it was *loud*! I was excited! I cheered and giggled and covered my ears when it was too loud. I had a headache after all of that.
So Orion says "haven't you ever been to an airshow, babe?" I told him that I hadn't..but he saw how excited I was and we went inside to see what was going on. Thunderbirds. The USAF Thunderbirds were in town and they were practicing for the next day's show above our little housing community! Orion was then convinced that he had to take me to the show because if I got that excited in our backyard he couldn't wait to see me all giddy at the real thing. Aww, the man loves to see me happy..what a dollface!
We somehow got the timing wrong..we thought the show started at 3:30 so we left here around 2:30 to give us plenty of time to get there and parked and seated before the show started. Wrong. The drive to Hickam AFB (Air Force Base) was a breeze..until we got to the gate. lines like you wouldn't believe! But I was still so amped up that I was dancing in my seat and getting good chuckles out of the guys on duty. That sort of thing makes me happy. We parked and the Thunderbirds were already flying overhead. Aww, man! So we stood in the parking lot with everyone else who got there late and watched the show from there. Still an awesome show! We made the 1/2 mile trek from the parking lot into the venue with just enough time to look at a couple of planes on display before the show was over and people were crowding their way out. Basically, we walked that half mile just to turn around and do it again. I'd also already worked out that morning, too..so a little bonus.
Okay..not a big deal..they're doing another show on Sunday. We'll go earlier and make a day of it! So we left right after lunch..no naps for the babies. If they were tired enough they would sleep in the stroller (which Maddox did). I think that at least half..if not more..of the people on the island decided to go on Sunday. It was a hike and a half into the venue and then tons and tons of walking around looking at planes and what not before the show started at 3. I had a great time except for my stupid plantar fasciitis tryin to keep me down and my armpits kept squirting from the vicious heat and my pants kept trying to fall down..and while in the front of the huge crowd, Maddox had rancid diarrhea and was very upset about it. Very. And smelly. But overall..I had an awesome time and would also love to make out with the pilots. I said it. I've been saying it all weekend. I have an absolute crush on those guys and I swear when I saw one of them walking around looking at the displays with his family, I wanted to go hug him..or get my picture taken with him..or maybe even just stalk him for a little while haha..Orion told me no. I can't see why. I told you..I have a crush! On *all* of them. And then I developed a crush on Orion because he can fly planes, too and heheheheheheheheheh oh, giddy! Even though he can't do those special tricks, oh..I love him. Love!
Sorry, my immaturity took over just then. Anyway..pictures. Not all of them because that's just too many. I'll put them all on Facebook, though..if anyone cares that much.

This one was taken from our backyard. I love that if you zoom in on a lot of these you can see their little pilot heads..aww!

Day one..in the parking lot

They're so skilled! That totally looks like it could have ended badly..but no! No! Hot.

Show off. Hehehe

Oh, I love you guys, too!

Day two..I took a walk through a re-fueling plane thing

The boys finally got to climb into a fire truck!

Dear Thunderbirds,

I love you. A lot. Thank you for being as sexy in the air (and on the ground) as you are.

Love, Abby

Kisses!

09-18-09

2009-09-18T14:23:00.003-05:00

Ooo! I'm excited! Okay, so listen and don't make fun of me. I've been having trouble making friends here. Not that I've actually gone out and tried or anything. But when you don't go to church, school, or have a job..it tends to be hard to meet people, ya know? Anyway. So I was browsing around on Craigslist a couple of weeks ago laughing at some of the posts up there (did you know they have a jokes section??) and because I was going through all of the categories, I got to the strictly platonic friends thing and started to read some of the ads (some were downright heartbreaking)..and then I saw this little ad for a Yahoo group called BFF Oahu (best female friends..oahu) and it was this army wife up at Schofield talking about the same thing I was going through and she had a group for people who were finding it hard to meet people and make friends here on the island. Oh, what can it hurt? I signed up. If people are weird..I can just drop the group. But these girls all seem to be nice so far..and there have been get togethers but they've all been scheduled for times I just can't make it..whether it's date night for us or Calix's upcoming birthday..I just can't make it.

So, I threw out the idea this morning for a Halloween party. Munchies, drinks, Halloween shows and movies..maybe a couple of activities for the youngsters..and then we could all head out trick-or-treating with the kids. That way the parents could have fun and meet and the kids would have stuff to do AND still go trick-or-treating in a group (because that tends to be safer anyway). So I'm assuming that's going to be held here at my house and I'm totally excited! I've been wanting to throw some kind of a Halloween party for a while..but didn't really want to wait til my kids were older (ya know..for the eyeballs in a bowl..brains..dead hand..bobbing for apples..ya know). So this is where you guys come in!

Does anyone have any ideas? I know mom used to hang a string from one end of the room to the other that had donuts on it and I think the goal was to see who could eat all of their donut first with their hands tied behind their backs. That was always silly. I wouldn't want to do bobbing for apples ON the day of Halloween because kids get their make up done and that's not a nice thing to do to parents the day of Halloween. That's more of a party before the actual day kind of thing to do, I think. I know I can put some Halloween shows and not as scary movies on my Netflix to have delivered for that day.. I can do the weird stuff in bowls that kids have to reach in and feel thing...but what else? What kinds of treats and munchies should I have around? Recipes? I love ideas!

And also? Orion won't be here for it..unless they let him come home for Halloween..but I doubt it. We're just planning on him not being here..so I'm on my own for this.

But yay! Excited!

09-17-09

2009-09-17T18:42:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I finally gave in and went to the doctor for what I've assumed to be plantar fasciitis (which totally sounds gross and like I don't take care of my feet or whatever but that's not what it is at all, I promise. I was just standing up in the kitchen cooking and baking and shifting my weight in weird ways for balance. Or something.). Now, here in Hawaii, to go ANYWHERE in the hospital, you must first go see your primary care doctor. This gets annoying and embarrassing sometimes because you're just like..dude, I just need a pap smear..I know where I need to be and you're not the person. In Kentucky, I could just call the gyn clinic and make an appointment there but not here! Oh no! Such nosey bodies! Anyway. So I had to go see my primary care man for a referral to a podiatrist. He confirmed that oh yeah, it's plantar fasciitis for sure and wrote me up a prescription for an anti-inflammatory so that I can hopefully continue to use the treadmill without suffering the rest of the day..and then he sent me down to x-rays.

Yo, I don't know what's going on with the ladies down there..but they are *silly*! The two receptionists had me laughing up a storm! Then the x-ray technician woman was batty as all get out..loved her! She was rambling on and on about knowing someone on Maui with the last name Delgado and was all "maybe she's your mother!" and I said "no...not my mother.." and I giggled because this was awesome and she insisted "yes, perhaps she's your mother!" "probably not.." and I'm still totally delighted in what's going on. Oh, I love when I go out alone..I have the greatest encounters with people!

X-rays. Yes. So because it's my foot, she had me climb up onto this table and pose all sorts of strange ways. I wished someone had been there to get a picture of it! I was cracking up like the entire time. Head back..just totally letting it all go. My life is hysterical sometimes..loves it! When I hopped down (and I think I flashed one of the new trainee guys because I was wearing a skirt and this is just my luck) off the table and they were looking at my scans I remembered I had my phone with me..so I took a picture:

That's right. My foot was propped up on a box. Model! Finally! My dream come true! Ahhh hahahaha. Oh, man.

On my way out of the hospital, I was standing at a red light..ya know..on my way to the car park and one of my crazies from the radiology clinic was standing next to me and she was all "you again! Oh my gosh..so after you left, a woman in a wheelchair came in and I asked her if I could spin her around a few times" again, my laughter started back up..these women are just too much! I love it! My kind of crowd! But she walked with me to my car and we laughed the whole way. Oh, man. Ohhhhh, mannn. I'm tellin ya, I cannot make this stuff up.

So I came home and am totally giggly from my day's events and convince Orion that hey, we should just all go out to dinner. I need a burger. Immediately. So we chose Ruby Tuesday because it's just down the road. The kids picked whatever they wanted..Calix even ordered his on his own, the little darling. "Um, I will haveee...a grilled cheese and chocolate milk, please" and Maddox says "Mac n' cheese! Chocolate milk! Yes!" okay, cool. So, as usual..they only eat their fries and drink their milk. Okay, that's fine you guys..but daddy paid for your meals that you specifically requested so you're eating whatever you chose for lunch tomorrow. Not big on being food wasters. Our waitress packed up our leftovers..including desserts all around and we're talking about heading on home. Calix? You guys..he NEVER does this. Calix started screaming and crying about wanting to stay to eat his dessert. So I leaned over and said "Calix, if you would like to try finishing your dinner when we get home, you can do that and then get dessert" he wiped his tears and said okay..and we left. We're loading the boys uo into the van and Calix decides to grow a pair. He screams "IF I DON'T GET MY ICE CREAM I'M GOING TO BE SO MAD!" whoah, child. Whoah. Where'd that come from? Like..seriously. Never before have I heard him speak that way. Never. Now, Calix feels like he's entitled to many things in life.. but never before has he shouted threats. Orion and I glanced at one another and then I looked at Calix and said "frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. The rule in our family is you eat your dinner. Whether we are home or out, if you eat your dinner you get dessert. That is how it is and I'm sorry if that makes you feel mad. Now, on your birthday, if you don't want your dinner and you just want dessert..that is fine because it's your birthday, okay?" "okay." "when we get home, you may finish your dinner and IF you do, you may have your ice cream..but if you do not, you will eat your sandwich for lunch tomorrow. And if you finish it for lunch then you may have your ice cream, okay?" "okay".

So we get home and he attempts to finish his dinner. After about 20 minutes, he brought his tray to the trash and said "I think it's all gone..yep, it's all gone. I can have ice cream now!" so Orion..being keen on Calix's sly tricks, looks at the tray and his entire sandwich is still there. Calix spent the next 20 minutes or so in the corner for lying while Maddox cleaned up all of the toys and then went to bed. When his time was up, I scooted him upstairs, changed him, brushed his teeth and we talked about lying and why we shouldn't do it. I gave him kisses and hopes for a better day tomorrow.

Think what you will about how I handled that..that's fine. I never claimed to be a perfect mother. I never raised my voice in all of those discussions, either. I don't know if this is just him being 3-4..or what. I'm pretty sure it's an age thing. I hope it's an age thing. This is new territory for me, though..the talking back..lying..kind of stuff. It makes my heart so sad. I know a large portion of his behavior yesterday was from not napping because of all of the jackhammering going on right outside his bedroom window..but all of that behavior cannot be blamed on lack of sleep.

Anyway, I was honest here..and I'm okay with that.

09-16-09

2009-09-16T14:22:00.009-05:00

So Jenna came up with this thing to keep all of the cousins in contact and to learn about one another so that when we do get together it's not introductions and awkwardness for the first half of the visit. They need to feel like they know one another. Anyway. So she wanted pictures of each child to put into a game of sorts for memory. Listen, I was at the gates when I read that e-mail..too sick to make sense of anything, really. Delirious, I was.

So I went to go take some recent pictures of the boys. I..I don't know why they looked so grumpy..but this is what happened:

Fake smile.

We'll have to try again another day. A happier day.

In other news, since I haven't posted in a very long time, I got my hair cut..again. BUT, it wasn't me who did it. The salon around the block from my house did. I was hesitant about going there because dude, it's this little military salon attached to the shoppette..surely they won't be great, right? But the prices were that of a decent cut at other places..and it IS just hair, afterall..sure, let's give it a whirl (because how awesome to be able to walk to the salon and not break a sweat). So I picked out this cute little cut from one of the magazines she had laying around..and then she seriously tried to talk me into the Kate Gosselin cut and I was all "nooo!!!" because..no. Absolutely not. But I like what turned out:

And I lightened it like.. a shade or two. But you probably wouldn't be able to tell unless you saw me every flipping day of the week..and it would need to be under the lights or out in the sunshine. But that's okay. At least all of the greys are gone/blended in. And I'll just wait till I go back and have them lighten my hair to a lovely shade of blonde with highlights and whatever else. I don't know. I'm not a stylist.

Anyway, I have a doctor's appointment today for my left foot. I finally gave in and made an appointment. I've been on the treadmill walking and running (oh MAN it feels so good to run! It feels so much better without the extra 30 pounds, too!) lately..and well, my left foot SUFFERS the rest of the day. I barely made it while out grocery shopping the other night. It was just *bad*. So I called. Hopefully they'll be able to do something for it today. It sure would be nice to walk without limping again.

I'll start writing in here again..I promise.

08-26-09

2009-08-26T14:09:00.005-05:00

I wanted to share a couple of recipes I think ya'll should try out

Whole Wheat Pita Pizzas with Vegetables

1 t. olive oil
1 medium red onion, sliced (I pretty much always leave onions out of everything. Don't love them)
2 garlic cloves, crushed with garlic press
1/4 t. crushed red pepper
8 ounces broccoli flowerets, cut into 1 1/2 inch pieces
1/4 cup water
1/2 t. salt
1 can (15 to 19 ounces) garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup part-skim ricotta cheese
4 (6 inch) whole-wheat pitas
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 medium plum tomatoes (12 ounces), cut into 1/2 inch chunks (I didn't have any on hand so I just sliced up some grape tomatoes)

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. In nonstick 12-inch skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat until hot. Add onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden, 7-10 minutes. Add garlic and crushed red pepper and cook, stirring, 30 seconds. Add broccoli flowerets, water, and 1/4 teaspoon salt; heat to boiling. Reduce heat to medium and cook, covered, until broccoli is tender-crisp, about 5 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, in small bowl, with potato masher or fork, mash beans with ricotta and remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt until almost smooth.
3. Arrange pitas on two large cookie sheets. Bake until lightly toasted, about 3 minutes. Spread toasted pitas with bean mixture. Top with broccoli mixture and sprinkle with Parmesan. Bake until heated through, 7 to 10 minutes longer.
4. To serve, sprinkle pitas with tomatoes.

Each pizza: About 469 calories, 27 g protein, 64 g carbohydrate, 10 g fiber, 13 g total fat (6 g saturated), 29 mg cholesterol, 969 mg sodium.

I thought they were very filling..to the point where I could only eat half of the pita along with a side salad.

Carrot-Bran Muffins

1 cup low-fat (1%) milk
1/4 cup canola oil
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups whole-bran cereal (not bran flakes) (I used All-Bran)
1 cup shredded carrots
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 T baking powder
1/2 t salt
1/4 t ground cinnamon
1 cup dark seedless raisins

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease twelve 2 1/2 by 1 1/4-inch muffin-pan cups.
2. In medium bowl, with fork, beat milk, oil, egg, cereal, and carrots until blended; let stand 10 minutes.
3. Meanwhile, in large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Add cereal mixture to flour mixture; stir just until dry ingredients are moistened (batter will be lumpy). Stir in raisins.
4. Spoon batter into prepared muffin-pan cups. Bake until muffins begin to brown and toothpick inserted in center of muffin comes out clean, about 30 minutes. Immediately remove muffins from pan. Serve warm, or cool on wire rack to serve later.

Each muffin: About 185 calories, 4 g protein, 33 g carbohydrate, 4 g fiber, 6 g total fat (1 g saturated), 19 mg cholesterol, 259 mg sodium.

If you're having this for breakfast..have 1 muffin, 1 cup fat-free milk, and a mix of 1 cup strawberries and 1/2 cup sliced banana. I love these..they remind me of some muffins my mom used to make when we were kids.

Okay, I love you. <3 <3

08-22-09

2009-08-22T23:09:00.004-05:00

I adore my little family. Did you know? Days around here are spent teaching letters and numbers and playing games and coloring and cuddling and just generally being together. Call me clingy..but I like that sort of thing (and I know it won't last forever, either..so I'm taking it while I can get it). The kids and I (and this week Orion, too) sit outside after nap time on sunny days and enjoy a popsicle..we watch the clouds and I watch their imaginations grow. I cannot believe how smart and just gosh dang *cool* these kids are getting..and they're *mine*?! I've never felt like I've won anything greater before in my life. I always knew I wanted a family..but I never imagined it would be as wonderful as it's been.

I cut his hair that night haha aww what a sweetheart!

Calix got these flippers from Orion's mom's ex-boyfriend for Christmas when he was like a year old because Orion loves to scuba dive and what not. Well..they finally fit! Soon he'll get to try them out at the beach..see how that works out.

last night after dinner, Orion and I were outside playing with the kids and then Orion was getting fresh with me..touching my butt ("Cuddle, you haven't said I was getting fresh with you since we were dating!" awww!!) and then I grabbed the camera because it was just one of those evenings I wanted to remember. The boys climbed up onto our bellies and I took a picture of all of us laying on the boys' little trampoline. Maddox is covering his eyes from the flash..but I totally love this picture.

Today for lunch we had BLTs (low sodium bacon)..I'm in love with the lemon basil mayo it calls for..it just puts a zest in an already obviously delicious sandwich.

Now, a couple of weeks ago, Jenna and Hannah were talking about making my mom's recipe for Sour Cream Blueberry Cake..and they wanted Amanda and me to join in and bake it in our own homes (kind of like we're all in the kitchen together baking the same thing..which we can't actually do as we all live way too far away from one another.) and then we would all blog about it at the same time. Well, I was still doing the boot camp for The Supermarket Diet and couldn't veer from it so mine had to wait. They said they would save their pictures and when I made mine, we would all post (Amanda, are you going to play along?). Anyway, I made mine this evening!

I actually drizzled a light lemon glaze over the entire cake

Hello, darling. Oh, it was just divine! Orion sat at the table groaning about how delicious it was while I was taking a couple of pictures. So yummy!

Now that we're all well fed, it's time to go read to my children and get them nestled into bed so I can beat my husband at some games. <3>

08-19-09

2009-08-19T12:36:00.006-05:00

Today is day 3 of the blind one. As most of you know, Orion had PRK done on Monday morning (bright and early, too..like get the kids out of bed and put them in the car in their jammies kind of early). After surgery he was pretty peppy..talking about how clear everything was on the way home..but we knew that the cheer wouldn't last so long because the meds will wear off and it will hurt. Oh, it will hurt. I nailed this huge heavy black fuzzy blanket Orion got while he was in Iraq (and I swear..that thing is so heavy I had to stop using it on the bed because I am just too weak to deal with a heavy BLANKET in the middle of the night) over our bedroom window..and literally..no light gets in. Nothing. It confuses me every day that I go up there to nap with him while the babies are napping. I'll wake up in a daze like..did I sleep too long? Is it the middle of the night? And it's not like I can look at the clock..because he unplugged it (we have an obnoxiously bright alarm clock)..the whole thing is just messing with me. Anyway..so he's upstairs in the dark. He ventures out every now and then because he's bored (can't watch tv..can't play on the laptop..can't read..but he CAN and DOES dance around in the dark to Radiohead. Don't tell him I told you) so it's nice to see him when he does. Oh, this isn't going anywhere. He's feeling a little better than he did yesterday..so that's good. He has an appointment on Friday morning to take off his bandage contacts, I think.

He is handsome though. Hairy chest and all. I love that freckle on his face. It's my favorite.

So I've been bringing up all of his meals. Here are a couple with recipes in case anyone wanted to give them a whirl:

Berry Blast Smoothie (Josiah, I'm thinking about you)

Makes: about 1 3/4 cups or 1 serving

1 container (6oz) mixed berry low-fat yogurt (I couldn't find this..and since I was making 2 servings, I just used half of a 6oz container of blueberry and half of a 6oz container of raspberry for each serving)

1 cup frozen berry medley (strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries; such as Dole Mixed Berries or Cascadian Farm Organic Harvest Berries)

1/3 cup nonfat (skim) milk (or use soy)

2 T. instant nonfat dry milk powder

In blender, combine ingredients and blend until smooth and frothy. Pour into 1 tall glass.

Each smoothie: About 299 calories, 16 g protein, 59 g carbohydrate, 2 g total fat (1 g saturated), 4 g fiber, 12 mg cholesterol, 219 mg sodium.

Macaroni and Cheese on the Light Side

Makes 6 servings

1 package (16 oz) whole-wheat cavatelli, macaroni, or other short, tubular pasta (I couldn't find whole wheat macaroni..so I just used rotini..not a big deal)

2 T margarine or butter

3 T all-purpose flour

1/2 t salt

1/4 t ground black pepper

1/8 t ground nutmeg

3 1/2 cups low-fat milk (1%)

6 ounces (1 1/2 cups) shredded reduced-fat sharp Cheddar cheese (I used Kraft 2% sharp Cheddar)

1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

2 packages (10 ounces each) frozen mixed vegetables

1. In large saucepot, cook pasta as label directs.

2. Meanwhile, in 3-quart saucepan, melt margarine over medium heat. With wire whisk, stir in flour, salt, pepper, and nutmeg; cook 1 minute, stirring constantly. Gradually whisk in milk and, stirring constantly, cook over medium-high heat until sauce boils and thickens slightly. Boil 1 minute, stirring.

3. Remove saucepan from heat; stir in Cheddar and Parmesan cheeses just until melted. Use immersion blender to blend mixture in saucepan until smooth (I don't own one of those, so I just poured the sauce into a blender, took out the middle section to let steam out and blended on a low setting until sauce was smooth).

4. Place frozen vegetables in colander; drain pasta over vegetables. Return pasta mixture to saucepot; stir in cheese sauce and heat through.

(**my sauce looks thin..I should have let it cook a little longer to thicken up..but thin or thick..it's still super delicious**)

Each Serving: About 522 calories, 28 g protein, 77 g carbohydrate, 13 g total fat (5 g saturated), 11 g fiber, 27 mg cholesterol, 358 mg sodium.

I made this one for dinner last night:

Gingered Pork and Vegetable Stir-Fry

Makes 4 servings

1 pork tenderloin (12oz), thinly sliced

2 T grated, peeled fresh ginger (did you know that was my first time actually peeling and grating fresh ginger? True story)
1 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth

2 T teriyaki sauce

2 t cornstarch

2 t canola oil

8 ounces snow peas, strings removed

1 medium zucchini (8oz), halved lengthwise and thinly sliced

3 green onions, cut into 3-inch pieces (I omitted these..because I'm not into them.)

1. In medium bowl, toss pork and fresh ginger. In cup, mix broth, teriyaki sauce, and cornstarch; set aside.

2. In nonstick, 12-inch skillet, heat 1 teaspoon oil over medium-high heat until hot. Add snow peas, zucchini, and green onions and cook, stirring frequently (stir-frying), until lightly browned and tender-crisp, about 5 minutes. Transfer to bowl.

3. In same skillet, heat remaining 1 teaspoon oil; add pork mixture and stir-fry until pork just loses its pink color. Transfer pork to bowl with vegetables. Stir cornstarch mixture; add to skillet and heat to boiling. Boil until sauce thickens, about 1 minute, Stir in pork and vegetables; heat through.

Have 1 serving with 3/4 cup rice, preferably brown (I forgot to pick some up so I just used white rice).

Each Serving: About 186 calories (not including rice), 21 g protein, 8 g carbohydrate, 1 g fiber, 8 g total fat (1 g saturated), 55 mg cholesterol, 430 mg sodium.

Also..you guys are cute with your guesses..but you're all wrong. Cramer said 170 and that blew me away until Hannah suggested 150..that's sweet. The answer for that picture in the last post was actually 207. Dude, I know, right? And know that I started out at 230. I figured it would be an eye opener to a lot of people because when you think of someone over 200 pounds you think (for the most part) they're super chunky..but..it's just not so. My height helps to distribute the weight better than if I were, say, 5 feet tall, ya know? That 207 is actually only 2 pounds heavier than I was when Orion got home from Afghanistan..weird, huh? My absolute goal is 150-155..my goal for Christmas is 170 (the weight I was when I found out I was pregnant with Calix)..that will put me at my just before baby weight. Cute..cute. I have a picture of me in a corset from my first Halloween with Orion. I was 155 and sexy and I keep that picture on my nightstand..I stare at it daily. It's my kick in the pants.

08-15-09

2009-08-15T20:13:00.005-05:00

Hey. So, I don't really write often because honestly? Not much is going on and the things that ARE going on are small enough for little Facebook blurbs, really. Facebook has taken over my blog posts haha. That's sad.

So I thought we'd play a little game. Listen, I'll try my best not to get offended..but I think it'll also be an eye opener to a lot of people. It's called..guess how much I weigh. What? That's a horrible idea, Abby. I know..I know..but that's why it's fun.

This picture was taken this morning:

No, nevermind..I can't do that. I say I won't get offended..but I probably would because you KNOW there's going to be mean people answers since the blog's not private anymore..and I don't feel like listening to stupid answers like "375, fatty!!" because look..I'm not into that sort of thing. But, I suppose if you have a real honest guess without being ridiculous, that's fine (and you don't have to be stupid nice about it like "115!" because that's ridiculous. I'm 5'9"..if I weighed 115 pounds, I'd look like I was dying.)..go ahead.

I will say though, that I bought that shirt randomly last year and every so often I've tried it on and have never been able to button ANY of the buttons..until this morning. It's a wee tight, but I got them all buttoned! I'm still nowhere near my goal..but I'm approaching it at a steady pace and you know what? Dang it, I am SO proud of myself. SO proud! I normally would have given up about a week in..and here I am almost 3 months in, and I'm *not* giving up.

Sorry to keep it short, but I must go beat my husband at some Wii games.

<3 <3

08-05-09

2009-08-05T15:52:00.006-05:00

I know I've been talking about weight loss and what not a lot lately..but that's what's going on in my life. I feel like I must have just been ready, ya know? Because talk about it all you want..nothing can really change until you're ready for it to. It helped me a lot to actually search out a plan that I felt was right for me..and so far it's been wonderful. I did a lot of reading and am now grasping (finally) how to properly read food labels (I already knew the calories and serving size thing..but there's so much more to it). It's a plan that doesn't involve feeding my family microwavable meals..and it's a plan that lets me do what I love to do: cook! I'm learning how to feed us the correct way..instead of just feeding us, ya know? While Orion was deployed and I was at the gym EVERY bleeding morning of the week sweating and exhausted and barely seeing any results..or the countless number of miles I logged on my treadmill here at home..the thousands upon thousands of crunches I pumped out didn't matter..they didn't matter because I was still eating pretty horribly. 'Oh, as long as I'm working out I can eat whatever' was pretty much my thought about the whole thing (not to mention the high calorie alcoholic drinks I was consuming! Like an entire DAY'S worth of calories on a few drinks! Eek!)..but yeah..eat whatever I want if I don't want to budge the scale. If it's something I'm good at..it's staying at a steady weight. But more often than not..it's a steady weight that I don't love.

But since starting this new plan, I've honestly gone on a couple of small walks with the family and normal day to day errands and activities. I have not been logging countless miles on the treadmill. I have not pumped out thousands upon thousands of crunches. I need to, I know. I know. Not countless miles or thousands of crunches..but more than what I'm doing now. I'll see better results with that..I know. I get a thrill out of seeing the number on the scale get lower and lower. And for ONCE in my life, I feel like this is do-able. I do. And all it took? Was a little reading and some patience in the grocery store.

A yummy example:

dinner last night! It looks like a ton of food, doesn't it? That was all just 450 calories, ya know.

Want the recipe?

Penne Rigate with Sweet-and-Spicy Picadillo Sauce

1 16oz package of whole wheat penne rigata, bow-tie, or radiatore pasta
2 t. olive oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed with garlic press
1/4 t. ground cinnamon
1/8 to 1/4 t. ground red pepper (cayenne)
3/4 pound 90% lean ground beef
salt
1 can (14 1/2 oz) whole tomatoes in puree (if unavailable, use whole tomatoes in juice), preferably reduced sodium
1/2 c. dark seedless raisins
1/4 c. salad olives, drained, or chopped pimiento-stuffed olives
chopped fresh parsley for garnish

1. In large saucepot, prepare pasta in boiling salted water as label directs.
2. Meanwhile, in non-stick 12-inch skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat until hot. Add onion and cook, stirring frequently, until tender, about 5 minutes. Stir in garlic, cinnamon, and ground red pepper; cook 30 seconds. Increase heat to medium-high; add ground beef and 1/2 t. salt and cook, stirring frequently, until beef begins to brown, about 5 minutes. Spoon off fat if necessary. Stir in tomatoes with their puree, raisins, and olives, breaking up tomatoes with side of spoon, and cook until sauce thickens slightly, about 5 minutes longer.
3. When pasta has cooked to desired doneness, remove 1 cup pasta cooking water. Drain pasta and return to saucepot. Add ground-beef mixture and reserved pasta cooking water; toss well. Add salt to taste.
Garnish with parsley and serve.

Makes 6 servings. Each serving: About 452 calories, 22g protein, 67g carbohydrate, 9g fiber, 12g total fat (3g saturated), 37mg cholesterol, 175mg sodium (if using reduced-sodium tomatoes).

Very easy and yummy yummy!

I'm pretty excited for the next time I go to the doctor's for them to write this drastic change in weight on my chart. Maybe they'll be confused and ask me to step on the scale again just to double check..hehehe. And not to mention how excited I am to go check my blood pressure! I'll bet it's all kinds of lower!

P.S. I've officially lost 20 pounds so far! I hope to be at (or super close to) my goal by Christmas..which shouldn't be too hard because that's putting me at a goal of about 2 pounds per week. Do-able.

08-03-09

2009-08-03T12:53:00.005-05:00

Because Calix filled up his potty chart with stickers, we took him to Toys R Us to pick out a toy on Friday. He's been pretty excited about this day..counting the empty spaces on his chart until the last sticker was placed Friday morning.

People were staring at me taking pictures of my child in Toys R Us, btw..but you know what, people? This is a huge milestone for my child and I'm totally documenting it. Step off.

Ah, the Lego aisle!

He actually wanted to buy a tub of the very same blocks he already has. But, I was reading a Family Fun magazine and they had this small section about this Lego set called Builders of Tomorrow and because Calix will sit and build all kinds of things with Legos for hours on end and I love seeing the things he comes up with and how symmetrical everything he builds is..I kinda sorta suggested that set. Your imagination PLUS 3 new directions for building new things on the website every month? Totally. Yes.

Look at that kid! He's so proud of himself!

Aww look, I made 2 penguins and a couple of Eskimos! Precious.

the robot Calix made and the cop Orion made (yeah..we totally sit and build with the kids for *hours*..another plus of these blocks!) have a conversation (my kids crack me up like you wouldn't believe and honestly? I'm more and more grateful I have kids every single day. They're turning into the best little people and they're teaching me so much about love..and being silly)

Can't you just see his mind wheels turning? Ugh, I love this kid!

Oh, Maddox..you're so silly, babe!

This is what we did on Saturday..seriously. The kids stayed up an hour past their bedtime because we were all having too much fun building things. I built this one..it's a man on the beach haha (website directions are behind him. I need step by step instructions, man..I'm not THAT creative. I'll save that for other members of my family)

a girl on the beach..isn't she so dang cute??

and then I built Orion a puppy..because if he were an animal..it would totally be a dog. He may have been one in a past life, I swear to you. He says I'm a total kitty..so I guess together we're that dog and cat that take naps together. Aww precious.

Yesterday before we went to the movies (Ice Age 3), I taught the kids about Bugle fingers

Stick with me, kids.. I'll show you some cool stuff along the way.

Today, Orion and I officially started the Good Housekeeping Supermarket Diet boot camp. It's 2 weeks long of roughly 1200 calories a day (and I was mostly only taking in 1000 calories before this) of awesomely healthy and filling foods and you're supposed to lose around 4 pounds a week for the 2 weeks..so shoot, that's cool. It's a jump start to the actual Supermarket Diet..and I've been so so excited to start it! (I have this weird thing where I need things to be even. Like, I can't let myself start a program in the middle of the week..I'll wait until Monday so it flows better. I never said I was normal.)

Breakfast was about 1 1/4 cups (190 calories) of Kashi GoLean (not GoLean Crunch!) with 2 tablespoons of almonds (that I chopped up using my new fangled food processor..which I'm also totally excited about) and a half cup of blueberries. Oh, darlin..you look thirsty...

Ah, that's better! With a cup of skim milk. It's more food than I'm used to in the mornings (I've been eating one slice of toast and one 60 calorie cup of yogurt for a while now..so this is quite a bit more food..and fiber..than I'm used to at such an early hour haha. Also, don't forget the multi-vitamin!

We've planned on going on family walks every evening after dinner..nothing fast paced because of my Plantar Fasciitis and it hurting to walk..seriously. So an after dinner stroll is cool.

Life is good, I have very few complaints. Hey, Calix has started singing songs from the radio. This is good..and not good. I was singing a Lady GaGa song a couple of days ago and I was all "let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco.." and Calix chimed in "stick!" oh, man. Orion was all "thanks, Lady GaGa." and granted, he doesn't know what it means..but it means mommy can't really sing those sorts of songs around him anymore. All of a sudden.. A LOT of things have been clicking with that boy..and that's just one of them. He's carefully calculating..always listening. Yesterday? I mentioned to Orion when I was looking at preschools around here that Calix could start going (they turned out to be way too expensive so I'll be doing the preschool thing here at home) if he could wipe his own butt and stop coming out of the bathroom naked from the waist down. Five minutes later, he insisted on wiping his own butt and pulled his underpants and shorts up. He's listening, man. The kid is totally listening.

07-29-09

2009-07-29T14:57:00.005-05:00

Have I mentioned that Orion is getting PRK? I don't think I have. Anyway, he is. He's at the hospital right now getting his eyes dilated and I think they tell him today when his surgery will be. Probably next week or something. I don't know. But! I get to be his hero during this time! Well, not really his *hero* but his driver for sure. So that's cute, I guess.

Check this out:

He and Calix think they're roller skates lately. I don't know. I think I'll need to get them each a pair of those beginner skates for Christmas or something.

Speaking of Maddox - I went out to get the mail yesterday. Our mailbox is not in front of our house..but across the street and on the corner. The kids usually just stand at the door (if they're awake) and watch me from there. I opened the box..pulled out our mail and started to head back home. It was then that I saw this Mini Cooper turn the corner and head towards where I was..at a way too fast for a neighborhood speed. I cross the street and Maddox comes FLYING out of the house running down the sidewalk just as I get to the corner of our lawn I'm screaming "stop!! stop!! Maddox stop!!!! STOPPP!!!!!" and I'm running at him as fast as I've ever run and his foot drops down into the street just as the Mini Cooper is also whipping around our corner. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh! I grab Maddox by the arm JUST in time and practically have a heart attack at the same time. I cried. I shook for the next 30 minutes. Maddox cried for the next hour. Seriously. He thought he was in trouble (and doesn't like being scolded..he's sensitive)..I just had to explain that he's not allowed to go outside without mommy or daddy holding his hand because people around here drive too fast. (though I will say the person driving the mini stopped as soon as they whipped around the corner and saw a wee one stepping into the road..which I'm thankful for..but still. STILL! THERE ARE BABIES AROUND!)

Ah, mommy heart attack moments. You have to have one in order to earn your next grey hair.

07-27-09

2009-07-27T16:02:00.005-05:00

Monday memories..that are actually from Friday..but whatever..whatever.

Guess who's totally potty trained now?! Yay, Calix!! I don't even need to remind him to go sit on the potty! Accident free for a week! Woohoo!!!

he called this one his "puppy" teehee..cutie

And I call these why I love being a mom and also..I'm thankful that I spent my teenage years taking so many self portraits because it just prepared me for taking cute when no one else is around to take photos..photos. Without all of that practice, I wouldn't be able to get shots like these today:

And these little ones are also why I battle for #3..am still losing..but someday. Someday I will WIN! Oh, how I ache for a small one to be swimming around in my belly. :( BUT, roughly 40 more pounds (as per our agreement) and approval from my doctor til that can happen. It will happen. Oh yes it will. :)

Moanalua Gardens and the rest of the weekend

2009-07-20T13:58:00.017-05:00

So, we saw Up on Saturday because we got to the theater like 15 minutes too late for Ice Age 3..but that's cool..I wanted to see Up more than that one anyway. It's just that Ice Age had dinosaurs and the boys love dinosaurs..so ya know. But, it was totally adorable and I cried. It was the kind of movie that I was so sad Orion and I were sitting so far apart from one another for. We reached over from time to time to hold hands..but that didn't last long because every time we did, the chair Maddox was sitting on would fold in on itself and he would go "whoaahhhh whoooaaahhh!!" and we would have to disconnect. By the way..how flippin cute was that short film in the beginning with the clouds?? Oh my gosh! Precious!

Maddox enjoying some popcorn.

Sunday morning, Orion was outside cleaning his motorcycle and I was inside making my meal plan and shopping list for the new Supermarket Diet we're trying out (and don't you worry..I'll be adding recipes from that one down the road) and when I looked out, he was sitting on the bike with Calix and Maddox showing them how it works:

Those darlings!

Sunday afternoon, we took Orion and Calix to get their hair cut. Still not Maddox because listen..I LIKE Maddox's little blonde hairs on the slightly shaggy side. It's flippin adorable and I will keep it that way until it gets out of control. He's my baby, leave me alone.

Calix lined up next to a bunch of military guys getting his first haircut from a barber..awww..he was sooo scared! Sorry about the crappy quality of these first few pictures..Orion's cellphone.

After his haircut..since we really didn't have anywhere to be and I had some quarters in the diaper bag..sure, kids..go for a ride.

I didn't really want to go home and neither did Orion..but it was he who spoke first "feel like going on an adventure?" "sure..where to?" "I don't know..let's go home and grab the camera"

So we did.

This kid looks so much like his dad did when he was a kid it's ridiculous

lucky to be the younger brother and get special rewards that he didn't really earn (the barber gave Calix 2 lollipops and he gave one to Maddox. Aww)

First, Orion drove up to one of the highest peaks around that we hadn't been to before..to check out the view.

And let me say, when I got out of the car I said "if I start rolling down the hill..please come after me" because it was *that* steep! Not even joking..the seatbelt was like the only thing keeping me from being one of those Garfield suction cup guys.

It's a gorgeous view though..for sure

I wasn't ready to go home yet. That just wasn't enough! So I suggested we finally go to Moanalua Gardens which is the next exit between where we live and where Orion works. Let's go get sandwiches and have a picnic type thing for dinner there under the Hitachi tree!

Isn't that bench awesome?!

looking up from our bench

I just love the way the branches are all twisty and the leaves so green against the sky. Ugh, gorgeous!

The famous Hitachi tree that people come from all over to see

I was sad that I was wearing the wrong footwear because ya know..these trees just scream "climb me!!"

Ants freak me out..did you know? Not because they're scary..because they're not. But because of the crazy underground tunnels they make. I just can't get my mind around that sort of thing..stuff like that totally amazes me! And freaks me out.

She's alllll legs, baby. Hahaha

Oh, Orion..bless your heart. He tried..

and tried (like how Calix is trying to help him? hahaha!)...

and tried from another angle..

and kept on trying..

from other angles..

to climb this branch..but it just wasn't happening. Bless his heart! (but shoot, I couldn't do it, either!)

I think this face says "mom, how are you letting this happen right now?!" bahhh hahahahaha

awww poor little man..so scared!

Maddox feels secure now..

then he got worried. I was like "Maddox..Maddox! Maaadddooxxxx..say cheese!" and he stopped his whining to quickly say "cheese!" which I thought was the funniest thing ever

oh my goodness! What a darling moment! One for the frames, ya'll!

Calix was still mad about the putting him up on the tree thing. I think I'll be paying for therapy down the road. Sorry bout that, buddy. But it *was* kinda funny. A lot.

the nerdy love and Orion's weird tan lines follow us everywhere

Oh, I love these two SO MUCH! So much!!!!

Come on..you KNOW you want to climb it! Or build a really awesome treehouse in it!

Another tree! Because the other one was covered in ants!

I think it's cute when little boys run to trees like that. Like The Giving Tree. You guys know...you know!

Ya know..it doesn't look it..but I *am* losing a bunch of weight still

Oh yes I am! I'll be at one of my initial goals in just a few short weeks!

Okay, *now* I'm ready to go home.

I love lovely Sundays with the fam. Or any day with the fam, really.

07-18-09

2009-07-18T15:56:00.003-05:00

Oh. My. Gosh.

yep..this about sums up what having boys is like. Just when you think there's down time..it's more like up and down time. Flying kids, man..that's what I have.

So last night I wanted to make a cake. A bundt cake. But just about all of them called for boxed cake mixes..and I don't love that. So as I was browsing random food blogs that I have bookmarked, I saw this recipe for a cake..in a coffee mug! Made in the microwave! And I said to myself...yeah, I have 10 minutes to make, bake, and frost these suckers...let's do it.

So I doubled the recipe and filled two of my big big coffee mugs up with batter..stuck them in the microwave for like 3 minutes and while they were cooling a bit I whipped up some of the glaze/frosting from the same site and slapped it on the still warm cakes..dropped some chopped milk chocolate chips on top (and because the cakes were still warm, they melted and added to the ooey gooey) and had everything done by the time Orion came downstairs from putting the boys in bed. He was like "you seriously just made 2 cakes? How did you do that so fast?!" and besides being a ninja..I explained they were made in the microwave. And while you can sort of tell they're made in the microwave..it was still a quick chocolate fix and for that, I'm grateful.

Want the recipe? Go here

I need a shower badly..and then after naps, we're taking the boys to the movies. Ice Age 3 or something. Something about dinosaurs. Anyway..have a holly jolly!

Also.. Hey, happy belated 82nd birthday, Grams Baker! Love you! (it was yesterday but I didn't blog yesterday..so there's that)

07-15-09

2009-07-15T14:41:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was full. After doing the whole Target thing, the boys and I thought it would be a nice surprise to bring daddy lunch at work and have a little picnic of sorts. So we pulled up and met him at one of the picnic benches outside of his office..he had some sushi..the kids had pizza and I had a sandwich. That was a nice treat..and now that I actually have my car all the time..we'll have to meet up for lunch more often.

And because we went to him for lunch and he didn't have to ride all the way home and rush food down his throat before riding back to work, he had an extra hour to do whatever! So he came with us down to the thrift store on Shafter to see if they had any treasures waiting for me to find them and take them home. My favorite find there was this little darling:

Ya'll know how I feel about lanterns, don't you? Ohhhh, I adore them. My heart aches whenever I see them in stores. I wish I had all the money in the world so I could gather them up and take them all home with me. Ugh, I love them. LOVE THEM!

I was pretty worried about taking Calix out while potty training..but I made it a point to ask him multiple times if he had to go potty and he kept saying he didn't..until we were about a block or two away from the house. Then he said "uh, mommy..I want to use the potty" "okay, baby..I'm trying. Can you wait until we get home??" "yep!" and he even waited until I put his new seat on the big toilet because he didn't want to use the little potty anymore. Yay for staying dry! (he stayed dry all night last night, too..ugh, so proud!)

After naps and after Orion got home from work, we went out to dinner where I totally surprised myself and only ate like 7 or 8 of the fries. Ughhhh I love friieeessss..but they're so bad for me :(

And then we hit up another thrift store in the heart of downtown Honolulu and while walking in..Calix's small hand nestled within my own, old men were sitting on benches swearing up a storm. (Orion recollected the event when we got back into the car later on. He said "I saw you look at them as soon as they cursed. Your Versace's were like a radar and you locked on to them like 'what are you doing talking like that with little children around??'" hahaha..oh, that's silly!)

While inside, I found these lovelies among other treasures:

This last one came with a pair of matching clip on earrings..which are totally rad. Ugh, aren't they so pretty?? Yay for vintage brooches!

We got home a bit after 8:30 and after settling the little men in bed, the husband and I agreed that these are our favorite kinds of days. They're full of family interaction and pass quickly. We then talked about the road trips we can't wait to take with our small family once we get back on the mainland. I miss road trips!

Okay, I have a serious mountain of clean laundry to take care of. Oh golly!

07-13-09

2009-07-14T01:19:00.004-05:00

This is how handsome my husband is..he seriously offered to pay the $300 a month or whatever for me to join Jenny Craig, or Weight Watchers, or Nutrisystem or anything else out there that would help me drop the 49 pounds till I'm at my fighting weight. But after research and consideration..dude, no. Absolutely not. I do *not* want to be on a diet for the rest of my life. I refuse to live in that kind of hell. I do not feel good about paying to eat gross packaged food or pay for someone to let me know what my allotted points for the day are when I already count calories for free. Thanks, but no thanks.

So I did some more research. I've decided on the Supermarket Diet..which isn't really a diet. I didn't like the other big name weight loss deals with me eating packaged food and then also making dinner for my family..it's like..no. Absolutely not. They cannot take my love of cooking away from me! The other way is too much hassle and also not fun. I've been pretty good about sticking to my 1,000-1,200 calories a day..and I've dropped a few more pounds with that but I guess I like being told what I can eat and recipes I can make that will stay within my daily calorie intake without having to do tons of searching online for recipes that list calorie amounts that will also stay within my daily budget. So instead.. a cookbook filled with menus for someone like me and it's REAL food. Real ingredients..not processed stuff that's been sitting in packages for golly knows how long. I wanted something that my entire family could eat..and we could still sit down at the table together and not have me be the odd one out. I WANT to cook for my family. I WANT to be able to have a few beers or a glass of wine if I want without breaking all kinds of rules. I WANT to be able to, say, eat a brownie if I feel the need. I want to listen to my body's wants and needs while also eating correctly. Does this make sense? I refuse to deprive myself. There.

Anyway, so I'm picking up that cookbook in the morning and then I'll write down my shopping list accordingly (I'd normally do that one today and then go shopping in the morning..but, tomorrow is payday and so I need to wait til then to even buy the book). I'm pretty excited about it. So I'll try it out and see how I really like it. Why not?

I'm also amped about thrifting tomorrow..or maybe all week. Not sure..not sure.. depends on what I find. I have hopes of finding awesome vintage brooches (Orion calls me an old lady haha..I don't care! I love brooches!) among other things on my list! I also have a ton of stuff to donate. Again. So.

I know no one wants to hear about potty training..but you know what? Like it or leave it, this is my blog..I am a mother..and I write about what goes on in my life. I may not write all awesomely..but I put it out there. I like having notes down about what goes on around here. You'd be amazed at how many times I read old entries here and on my LiveJournal and DeadJournal and I'm like "oh yeah! I forgot about that!" and then sometimes the stuff I read makes me feel dirty..like I can't believe that's how I used to act. It's my history all the same (at least it'd make a great book someday) and I like having it to refer back to. So with that said..potty training is going great. He's in underpants and totally out of Pull-Ups and has only had a couple of accidents (he's learning very quickly that underpants are nothing like diapers or Pull-Ups. When you have an accident..everyone knows.)..his potty chart is filling up with stickers and M&M's are disappearing quickly! I'm amazed with that boy EVERY single day! I cannot believe he's doing so wonderfully! Yay, Calix! I love you!

Maddox has a new thing where he fake cries. You can tell the difference between his real cries and his fake ones..but it's still pretty weird. Scared the heck out of me the first time he did it. But, he and Calix play and act stuff out and even sound like they have a script they're reading from..and I guess sometimes it involves Maddox crying. I don't know. They're pretty silly though and I can't help but crack up when I hear what they're saying. Smart kids, man..smart kids.

I played around in the kitchen again today. I can't help it! I was going to make the Chocolate Mint Brownies from My Kitchen Cafe but then I opened my cupboards and saw the big bag of caramels sitting there and so plans changed.

Brownie on bottom, caramel layer, coconut layer, and a chocolate glaze on top. Oh, no..ohhhh no, guys. They're so insanely delicious it's awful! I don't think I'd put as much of a chocolate glaze on them next time..maybe just a drizzle..(it's good..but just a little too rich for me) but still..still! Such an awesome treat..ugh. Yum!

Okay, it's Monday night tele time!

Also! Happy birthday, Lyndsay! I cannot believe the little one who made me an aunt in the first place just turned 15! What the heck?! Oh, I love you, dollface!

07-10-09

2009-07-10T21:38:00.002-05:00

So yesterday was our one year anniversary of living in Hawaii! It doesn't seem like it's been that long and then I go back and read the old entries and I'm like..ohhh yeahhh. Man, that move was a pain in the ace, wasn't it? Goodness. And to think that we're talking about moving to Germany next time..scary! Too early for that kind of talk though. It's been a good year!

Anyway, so I bought some pastry sheets a couple of weeks ago and they've been sitting in my freezer. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I have a lot of plain gelatin in my pantry for the same reason. I'll go on a recipe searching craze and it'll seem like every recipe I want to make involves gelatin, or cool whip, or some other random ingredient and so the next time I go to the grocery store, I stock up on those items. And then? Then I can't figure out what recipes I saw those ingredients in..so they sit and wait till I randomly find that same recipe again or something else that calls for those items. Whatever. Point is, I have random stuff in my pantry. No, that's not the point. The real point is that I wanted to use these pastry sheets. Then I remembered seeing an Apple Tart recipe on Pioneer Woman..and didn't think much else about it except that I wanted it.

Apparently..now, hear me out..pastry sheets and puffed pastry sheets are different. Oh well. So mine's a tad different. Crispier..lighter..but still delicious! And because one of my favorite things in the world is caramel, I had to warm some up and drizzle it all over the goodness. Oh, mercy!

So..even though it's different..it's a good different.

But for now, I have a pretty skirt on, it's Friday and my love is home for the weekend (thank GOODNESS, too because I am *tired* and intend on sleeping in tomorrow.), and my babies are singing and dancing..and I say that's how you know they're mine.

Hope ya'll have a swell weekend! Go do something lovely!

07-08-09

2009-07-08T14:34:00.005-05:00

Last night for dessert, I made trifle. Listen, I love trifle. I adore the tried and true classic from my childhood..but you know how I can be with experimenting. Let's try something trifley but..different. Chocolate. Yes..chocolate sounds nice. Chocolate Trifle! Yes!

We don't need a huge vat of it lying around..so I made a single serving (saved the leftover making parts for another day) and Orion and I shared it..and didn't even finish it. It's in the fridge. It's super delicious..but extra rich. I think if I were to do it again, I wouldn't add the sweetened condensed milk part..but just use regular ol chocolate pudding made the classic by box way or whatever..and I'd probably make homemade whipped cream. This recipe has a bunch of awesome reviews..and while it's good..it's definitely good..I'd make those couple of changes to make it better. But that's just me.

I mean, there's not a whole lot of negative that can be said about brownies, pudding, and whipped cream. Mmm mmm mmm, Clark.

07-07-09

2009-07-07T13:11:00.006-05:00

We're potty training around these parts. Or at least we're trying to. We've been down this road many times before with all unsuccessful outcomes and just general disinterest on the trainee's part. I've made charts. I've bought positive stickers. Big boy underpants. Special rewards. He's gone naked. He's used Pull-Ups (the ones that are supposed to turn cold but apparently, he likes his junk cold). We've talked and talked about it. I've been positive and have encouraged him (every time he sits down I do that whole "you're doing a great job, Calix! Mommy's so proud of you!" thing). He'll be so excited about it the night before we start again..but come morning? Forget about it, he's asking for diapers and totally has to be persuaded into either a Pull-Up or underpants. I'm not trying to be like that friend I had a while ago who would shove her kids' faces in their mess if they had an accident. Sure, they were potty trained by 18 months..but they hated her (not to mention how abusive that is..and disgusting). I'd like to gently guide instead of demanding results.

But as positive as I'm trying to stay, I'm starting to get frustrated. I'm determined to never put a diaper on that kid again. I'm determined to help him keep his Pull-Up or underpants dry. As soon as his Pull-Ups are gone, I'm not buying anymore (I never really wanted to in the first place but I thought I'd give the cool sensation thing a try plus I had a coupon for like $8 off a pack). I know it means lots of messy underpants are coming up and I'm not all that thrilled about that (but who is?) but honestly, it's just getting embarrassing to bring him to daycare and them giving me that 'you're a horrible mother because your almost 4 year old isn't potty trained yet' look and then him having to stay with the little babies BECAUSE he's not potty trained and I hate that all of these women are changing a big kid's diaper when they shouldn't have to..and bigger kids make bigger nastier messes and it's like..I'm sorry. Believe me, I feel like a failure in this whole venture. For a while, it was about Calix not being able to properly communicate..but now that he talks up a storm (even though sometimes it sounds a little baby-ish..like on the phone), I feel like it should be easier. I'm trying..I'm trying.

We'll get there, my darling.

Look out, Maddox..because you're next.

Speaking of Maddox.. he got a very special package from his Nana (my mom) yesterday:

it's his baby blanket! Awwww. When Calix heard it was from Nana, he ran upstairs to get the blanket Nana made him when he was born. Thanks, mama!

And on a final note..

This is Maddox watching Orion go to work. He does this same thing every morning. He'll stay by the laundry room door and kiss and hug and wave and ask if daddy has his coffee and as soon as Orion opens the back door, Maddox runs to the sliding door and tucks his small self behind the blinds and waves and kisses the window and shouts "bye, daddy! ride safe! have fun at work!" until Orion has mounted his motorcycle, ridden off, and is no longer in sight. He honestly does this every day Orion goes to work. Every single one of them. Come on, that's the cutest!

Back to the potty..

Hey also! Happy birthday, Noah! I love you!

If You Like Pina Coladas and Getting Caught in the Rain

2009-07-05T15:40:00.007-05:00

We should have gone to Schofield Barracks for their festivities yesterday..but we didn't. We didn't because I don't love traffic..especially that late at night and coming from that far away. But, we stayed home and had a bit of fun of our own..though nothing was really planned. Shoot, it wasn't even until a couple of hours before fireworks started that I suggested we go to a peak across from where Orion works at Fort Shafter. One where you can see alllllll around. I figured we might be able to catch some fireworks up there and even if they were a little far away, it's a good introduction to them for the kids. The boys know fireworks from Kung Fu Panda. Dude, I know..worst mother ever. Listen, my kids have (I felt) been too small for the loud booms (not to mention that they start way past bedtime) so they hadn't seen any in person. I wasn't only depriving them..but myself, too, in that whole thing...and I *like* fireworks! They're exciting!

Anyway, pictures.

I don't think it's a surprise that I'm more comfortable behind the camera than I am in front of it. Unless I'm the one behind AND in front of it, I guess (ya'll know me for my self portraits haha). I get reaaalllyyyy shy if someone (even Orion) picks up my camera and starts taking pictures of me. I don't love it and I back down and turn into someone completely different than who I normally am.

Hi, I've birthed 2 babies and I'm thinking about another. (that's the other necklace Orion bought me on our date night. It's red stick coral..I tied the knot in it..it's not normally like that)

and then Orion picks up my camera and finally catches me being my silly self. I'm probably saluting all of the sailors. I'm patriotic that way.

but then I back down and get all shy. I'm sorry..I'm working on it.

pina coladas were the drink of the night. Yum yum yum! But you know because you're drinking pina coladas you're going to sing that dang song all night.

I'm still getting used to shooting at night. I don't love using the flash..and I'd forgotten I had the camera set and all ready to go to shoot fireworks with so the majority of the photos from last night are totally out of focus because der der me had it set to manual focusing and then didn't use it because der der I forgot. I'm trying, ya'll..be nice.

A fist of Doritos and red dirt (oh my gosh the red dirt..the boys were rolling around in it and I'm like..dude, get up. You don't do the laundry.)

We think these were the Hickam AFB fireworks.

We ended up on the peak I spoke of and were the first ones there. I think maybe 5 more cars pulled up after us..so that's cool. And HOW RANDOM IS IT that one of the few couples that were at Strong Bonds with us were parked next to us?? Orion doesn't think it's that weird..but I do. Of all the places you could go see fireworks here. Of all the people to be sitting next to and it's them? What are the odds?? Anyway, so the above picture is Maddox looking on at the little firework someone near us set off. Pretty cute.

Those would be Honolulu's..I think they're the Ala Moana ones really. Swell show.

We brought a picnic basket full of sandwiches, chips, and sushi to munch on during the show. Blankets for the boys to wrap up in. We sat under the gate under the van when it rained. When Orion pulled his chair out of it's bag and opened it up, there was a petrified looking frog sitting there..and I don't mean petrified as in scared. He thought it was a mouse at first..but I called it out as being a frog. He told me to go away and not look at it while he removed it. I guess he was trying to save me the scars or something..but dude, I already saw it and now I was curious. I talked about it all night and how he thought it maybe got to be the way it was. Maybe it hopped in after a bug? Maybe it was in the bag the last time Orion put it away (Memorial Day)? Maybe it went in and couldn't get out?

muddy faces two!

It was getting late and raining so we packed up and headed home. Driving back down into the crater to get to our house was pretty sweet..fireworks in bloom, neighbors lining the sidewalks watching the show glow sticks in hand, guys running into the street to set off their own fireworks and firecrackers. Maybe the best show was right here at home afterall.

Strong Bonds take 2

2009-07-02T21:15:00.012-05:00

Last week, Orion came home and announced that we were going to another Strong Bonds. They needed to fill slots and it's not like we have a whole lot going on..so sure, why not? Monday morning, we loaded up and headed down to the Hilton Waikiki Prince Kuhio hotel. After dropping the babies off in daycare, we had an hour or two before our class started so we wandered the two blocks down to the beach on the strip.

Pretty pretty. It was while we were here that we randomly saw paparazzi walk by us and go harass whoever was there. We wandered back to the hotel and walked the grounds to see what we could see.

Parked fish! Aww. Orion thinks they're dead..I told him they were sleeping. Thing is? Those fish didn't budge the entire time we were there. We could see them from our 27th floor room and they really stayed in that same spot the entire time.

Glorious waterfall...

pretty windy..but still cute

I guess I have a thing with gazebos

Orion, you're precious.

It was about this time that I became obsessed with the fixtures and pieces in the hotel. You'll see what I mean.

well, that's different..and neat

The ceiling in the ballroom we had our classes in..ugh, loves it.

Our room. As pretty as it was and as neat of an idea as it is to have those glass pieces in the bathroom like that..if ANYONE has to get up at, say, 5 in the morning for PT..everyone will wake up. There is *zero* sound-proofing in that whole area and even with the blinds closed, you will still be annoyed by the light. I shouldn't complain, but listen, Maddox fell out of bed 3 times that night and was curled up in bed with me when Orion had to get up for PT and what not..and ya know, this mom was tired.

But the touches! The touches were great! I loved the frosted bathroom door..

And the faucet and sink

the beach was two blocks away..but they're short blocks

the view from our balcony

I was obsessed with this lamp

and this chair

Little menions! They were there, too!

Let me just say..we saw many naked people while we were sitting on the balcony talking at night after the babies went to bed but before we were ready to.

Day two was date day/night. Class got out at noon and we had from then until 10pm to go do whatever with or without the kids. We chose the without the kids option. First, we went to the movies and saw Transformers 2. Didn't know what was playing when..just went and saw whatever was on next. Then we headed back to the hotel so we could go out to dinner. It was while we were strolling to dinner that we saw this:

Oh. My. Gosh.

Have you *ever* seen so many pigeons in such a small area before?? And DUDE, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PIGEONS IN YOUR FRONT YARD????

Anyway. So we chose Cheeseburger in Paradise (and say, what's with all of the Jimmy Buffet stuff in Waikiki?)..and I honestly want to go back. Drool.

looking out at the beach and the strip from our table

husband

Cuddle

Hey, so if Orion takes a picture of you..be warned that he will zoom in so much that people will be able to see your grey hairs sparkling through the pictures.

After dinner, we strolled down the strip..hand in hand.

I love that I caught this at this point in the sunset! Pink and purple and gorgeous!

We strolled in and out of the mall on the strip..Orion purchased some sweet jewelry for me. There were street performers galore! Elmo, psychics, painted people doing the robot, jugglers! I wanted to stop and have my palm read..Orion said no. For a small donation we could glance inside someone's telescope and see the moon! Saturn! A man was yelling at another man for smoking around so many small children because secondhand smoke kills! It was amazing and I wish I could stroll the strip on the nightly.

Back at the hotel, we stopped at the bar to indulge in some refreshments

I loved the pink backdrop..and this lamp. Our bartender was awesome and she called us cute for cleaning up after ourselves (there was this horribly spoiled older couple next to us on the couch and they were nasty mean to her.)

We milked it as long as possible. Shortly before 10 (because you don't really want to be the last parents to pick up your kids, either), we made our way up to daycare and expected to see our small ones snoozing away. Not so much..but one of the daycare ladies was *passed out* next to them. So that's..nice..I guess.

the last class on the last day. It was only an hour long..just giving you an inside look to what it's like being in the room and about how many people are there with you.

For lunch, we hit up Mac 24-7 (when we got there on Monday and I saw the huge stack of pancakes they do I said to Orion "Man V. Food should come here" Little did I know he was there that same day! Craziness!) Orion had a huge sourdough bread bowl filled with the chunkiest..heartiest beef stew I've ever seen in my life. I um..was unoriginal and had a burger. Dude, I know..I'm disappointed in myself, too.

Mmm mmm good

and then I became obsessed with these stools and the other fixtures in the place

That's the wall..isn't it cool?

Orion took this from his point of view

After lunch, we got into our suits and swam around in the hotel's pool and basked in the sun until I missed my kids too much and had to go get them so they could swim with us for a while before heading home. And then, of course, when we got home..I was drained. Delirious from fun and sunshine..and now there's a lot of laundry to be done.

I will totally do another Strong Bonds if they let us.

Hey, say.. I need an opinion. So..I went to the commissary this morning looking like this:

And I thought I looked kind of cute, ya know? (the necklace is one of the new jewelry pieces O bought me while on our date) My face a little burnt from being in the pool..anyway, there was this girl there who kept giving me dirty looks. I brushed it off the first couple of times..but then she literally looked me up and down (twice!) and then very obviously sneered at me! I blushed and started to get all hot and embarrassed and then started to question how I looked. Was the lipstick a little too much for 10am? But it's not like I had heavy eye make up on as well as a bright lip shade! I know the rules! I didn't get it..and then I got angry and wanted to punch her in the face. I'm honest with telling you about my emotions like that. Orion gently ushered me into another aisle before I lept on her like a flying squirrel. I'm hormonal, what can I say? But feelings aside, did I really look so awful that I needed to be sneered at?

And also!

The Oscar Meyer mobile was at the commissary! (that's the woman who bagged our groceries and brought them out to our car for us..she was old and I felt bad about forgetting where I parked and made her walk further than I intended. I'm sorry.)

Glad to be home.

06-26-09

2009-06-26T13:57:00.005-05:00

I checked my camera for some pictures I may have taken recently and haven't stuck in my blog yet..but there honestly aren't any. The last picture is Orion pushing the bubbles in the foot bath down.

So if I'm not taking pictures..what AM I doing??

Well, I know I've been reading about picture taking (Nikon D60 For Dummies..I admit it). I've been reading and re-reading the section on manual shooting because I want to get it right. I want to be able to not use the auto shooting just because it's quicker and something I don't have to think about using..I want my pictures to be better. I want to be better.

Orion and I have been talking about maybe going to Japan in November instead of one of the other islands. I really want to see as much as I can while I'm here, ya know? And because we already live at the halfway point..it's like..why not? I want to see Japan. I do. I need a passport though. We would be flying Space A (space available..military style, baby haha) and staying at the military hotel they have in Tokyo. I'm pretty excited about this possibility. Orion works with a guy who took his wife and including Space A and the hotel and everything, they only spent like $400 for the week. We have two kids and would be getting a family suite so it'll be a little more expensive..but still.. STILL so much cheaper than it would be if we flew commercial. Yay, adventure!

Orion leaves for WLC (warrior leaders course) on the 7th (it's taken a long time for him to go because of his leg issues and having to go to physical therapy and not being able to run and without running you can't really pass a PT test. But like a week or two ago, he ran and even took 2 minutes off his fastest time ever..so horray!! And now that there's a passed PT test..he has to go) and he'll be there for 2 weeks. No coming home..no calling..so :( but, we've been without him for much longer periods of time..so this is okay. I'm going to be so bored at nighttttt.

We've been signed up for another Strong Bonds retreat. Orion was approached because they needed to fill slots..so..we're going again. A different hotel this time..still Waikiki. Monday-Wednesday. Good times.

I made a scrumptious chocolate caramel cake last night. No real recipe to go look at..it was an experiment of sorts.

I guess it doesn't look the best. But! There are three..count them, THREE layers of ooey gooey delicious caramel (seeping throughout the cake, really) and a warm fudge frosting was poured over top and dripped down the sides and oooo!!! It's not for the faint of heart but more for the PMS inclined. Hello, darling. I've been craving you all week.

I've been working on the little boys' room. It was looking way too plain to me and while I think it looks cuter now, it probably wouldn't to any of you and so I'll save you from the bore of those pictures. There are still some things I'd like to do in there, anyway.

Maddox shoved a peanut up his nose yesterday. He was complaining that his nose hurt and blowing it wasn't helping. Today he's still complaining about it..so I asked him. I asked if he put anything up there. He said "mmhmm..a peanut" "you put a peanut up your nose?" and Calix said "yeah, he put a peanut in his nose yesterday" well thanks for waiting until now to tell me, fellas. So I get to see if I can tweezer it out..if not? Uhh..well..I don't know. Do these things work themselves out? Do I take him to the ER? I'm new to this whole kids sticking things up their noses thing..though I do have to say it doesn't surprise me one bit. It really doesn't.

The joys of motherhood are never ending, aren't they?

06-21-09 Father's Day!

2009-06-21T13:41:00.005-05:00

I'll be adding to this post as the day goes on..but I just thought these couple of pictures were adorable and had to share them immediately. That's just the kind of girl I am.

Because Orion and I really watch what we eat these days, we don't really do big weekend breakfasts anymore. So yesterday when I asked Orion what his perfect breakfast would consist of, I wasn't too surprised when he said "French toast, eggs, bacon, and sausage". No problem. So I got up before the kids even stirred and got started. After they'd eaten breakfast, they followed me upstairs to deliver a sleeping daddy his Father's Day breakfast.

he wasn't even joking..he was *asleep* when we came in. But the boys got to give him morning hugs and wish him a happy father's day (Calix actually said "Happy Mother's day!" because there are just too many special days for this kid to keep up with).

I think this picture's absolutely precious. A deep daddy hug. Awww.

We have all of these gorgeous flowers growing in our front yard. This happens to be a hibiscus..pretty typical around these parts. I wouldn't normally clip one from the group, but it gave Orion's breakfast the much needed pop of red I enjoy.

Perhaps there will be more later..but for now, I must go put the roast in the crock pot.

**next day**

I really should have just said "here's a peek inside of Father's Day" or something because promising to update and then having your husband play video games on this computer for the majority of the day doesn't really work out. I don't want to install my camera's software on the laptop just so I can upload photos when Orion's playing the Sims or Flight Simulator X or something. I don't want our photos all over the place and it all just seems an annoying extra step. I'd rather wait.

Anyway, so we had plans to go spend the day at the beach but if you know how paranoid I am, and you saw that I mentioned putting a roast in the crock pot..then you know we didn't end up going to the beach. I just can't help it. I know people start a crock pot and go to work or out or whatever ALL THE TIME. I know. But it scares me. It seems an unnecessary risk to me. Just like I don't leave flat irons plugged in and on when I leave the house..why would I leave a crock pot plugged in and on when I leave the house? Houses burn down from less..and I'm not interested in my house burning down. I'll pass. Fire really scares me, ya know? Anyway. So those plans were shot down..but again, it's not like we don't go to the beach all the time anyway. It's there..we'll go another day. No big deal. I just hate letting the kids down.

So, Orion tried to set up that old baby pool we got when Maddox was 4 months old and Calix not even 2. It's a small pathetic thing. We've decided we should probably get a bigger one. Maybe one we can even get in, too haha.

waiting

pumping..but then it was discovered that hey, after 2 years of sitting in sheds..it got a hole of sorts and wouldn't hold the air. Plan B. C? 3? Whatever.

sprinkler!

treat time! Maddox's first official popsicle. I know, worst mother ever.

But don't worry..because this is only Calix's 2nd.

Maddox, you're messy..go rinse off in the sprinkler

Like how he thinks he's rinsing off but the water isn't even touching him? What a cutie.

shiver shiver shake shake

For dinner, I made 3 Envelope Roast from Real Mom Kitchen..along with some mashed potatoes and gravy and corn and blah blah blah. We had great conversation..the boys didn't touch their dinner.

I kept meaning to make that man snickerdoodles because they're his all-time favorite cookies. I've made them once or twice the entire time we've been together. It's just that I ate them so much as a kid and they give me acid reflux now as an adult..so they don't have me rushing into the kitchen to whip up a batch. I'd rather make something more difficult..but they ARE his favorite and so I should just make them already and stop stalling (how about a snickerdoodle bunt cake, O? haha). I'll do that today. I'm sorry..I honestly just ran out of time yesterday because I was busy with *everything* else!

I promised him I'd pamper him. Pedicure, facial..*cough*shavehisback*cough*...because I am a woman of very little money (it's hard financially when you have date night/daycare, anniversary, and father's day along with everything else fun and basic that you do..in one pay period) these days and I think it's kind of weird to ask Orion for money so I can go buy him something. I think I said this a few days ago..but the man has just about everything he wants and anything he doesn't have (like a Glock 21..) is just too expensive for my little self at this stage of my life. And that makes me sad and I can't wait until the boys are in school so I can go get a job and surprise that man more because he totally spoils me and I'm left like pulling out the lining of my pockets and having lint drop out and I'm all :( I wish I could give you everything. It's kind of like that poem "what can I give you, poor as I am? If I were a shepherd I would give you a lamb. If I were a wiseman I would do my part..but what can I give you? I'll give my heart" and while that might not be exactly how it goes..you get the idea. So more often than not, I give Orion my heart and the small tidbits that I can do and feel aren't really worth much..seem to mean the most to him. He's pretty cool like that.

Soak those feet!

oooo..bubbleesss

Too many bubbles! Down, bubbles!

His feet were soaked and scrubbed and buffed..his nails were clipped and filed..his feet received an awesome massage while being lotioned. He admitted that his feet have never been that well taken care of..that he felt like a new man. O, you're the cutest. And because it was so late, we didn't get to finish the rest of his pampering. I'll do that tonight for him.

I'm off to go start some snickerdoodles for him. That'll make him happy to see when he comes home for lunch.

06-17-09

2009-06-17T21:08:00.005-05:00

Hey guess what? This is my 700th post! Awww. This blog's 3 year anniversary is next Wednesday..and that doesn't really mean anything because it's not like I have a huge following or anything..but I think it's pretty cute. Tons has happened in 3 years!

How cute are these?

the boys are going through this phase where they take all of the shoes off the shoe rack and wear them around. I should try to get cuter pictures than these..maybe dress the boys up in some of Orion's ACU's and print them out and frame them for Father's Day.

So yesterday was our 4 year wedding anniversary. We didn't do a whole lot because Orion worked and what not. But, he did surprise me with a super awesome gift

He did a dang good job of wrapping it! Yay, Orion! He said he sat in the back of the van after PT wrapping it and cursing because it was taking so long..and then I texted him to see if he was okay (I do that. Ya know. If he's taking way longer to get home than normal, I check to see if he's okay because I worry.) and he said something like "1st Sgt. PT" and I thought maybe the first sergeant was conducting PT and was making them stay longer or something..I didn't really question it, whatever. And then a few minutes later he strolled through the door like "there's no such thing as first sergeant pt" dude, like I know..but thanks for lying to your wife haha. Look at how proud he is..what a prince!

Check him out taking the price tag off of it hahaha. It's not the exact set I wanted (I wanted the same set my mom has..not the nonstick) but they ARE Calphalon and they ARE my first real set of pots and pans that weren't previously someone else's and they aren't going to leave pieces of teflon in our food (gross) and hello?? They're NICE! He looked at my Amazon wishlist and he went out to find the item (and Target didn't have the exact set I wanted anyway)..so you know what? Kudos. Total kudos go out to this man. There's something to be said about the kind of pride one feels when they have a set of pots and pans that cannot be put into the dishwasher and so they're lovingly washed as per instructions by hand. I love them. I love him. It's all perfect.

And because we never had a cake when we got married (we split a cupcake), I attempted to make a wedding/anniversary cake of sorts. Don't make fun of the way it looks..I'm not an artist or a cake decorator. I work with flavors, man..and this was super extra delicious. Orion declared it the yummiest cake he's ever had.

it's not perfect, but I was trying to get it done before he came home for lunch..and I was literally putting the dome on the cake as he walked through the door. It was a last minute surprise..and he was surprised.

lemon cake with two layers of lemon filling and the center is a coconut cream filling. Buttercream frosting. We smashed it into one another's faces to make up for the time we didn't haha. It really was delicious. Seriously.

Here's something you guys probably didn't know about me: I left something out of my vows when we got married. There's a reason for it!

We were pretty poor when we got married. So when the judge said "for richer or poorer" I said "for richer" because I couldn't imagine us being any poorer than what we were (though we did get there). Is that horrible of me? I laughed at the time and so did everyone else who caught it. At least I didn't leave out any parts about fidelity. That's gotta count for something.

Anyway, we popped some bubbly after the babies went to bed and we toasted us (what I got for Orion wasn't that great because he has everything he wants and anything he doesn't have is too expensive for me to get him..but know I would get that man the world if I could.). Here's to another fabulous 80 years! Hehehe

06-15-09

2009-06-15T19:32:00.009-05:00

I keep coming to Blogger. I have stuff to blog about..but I haven't been able to concentrate on words. It's so annoying. My fever's breaking (it broke all over the couch during a nap)..so that's good. We all got sick while at the Hilton a week and a half ago. Orion got sick first..but his was just an annoying cough for a few days..and then the kids both came at me with fevers and runny noses and icky attitudes..and then Orion busted out with what the kids had and just when I thought I was going to squeak by this illness without being touched..I kissed Orion. On the mouth. On accident (sometimes the man's so irresistible I forget he's sick and let my guard down). And the next day? BOOM..I was sick too.

First, it was a sore throat. The next day, my face hurt from sinus issues. Then the fever and the chills and the confusion and the coughing..oh my GOSH the coughing. I hate when my lungs feel like they want to jump out of my chest. Ugh, painful. Drippy nose. My ears are all plugged up and achy you need to speak clearly and close to me and then give me a few moments to filter what just happened because I'm so friggin confused and out of it. It's embarrassing out in public. Oh, and I've been out in public..a lot.

Orion and I have been half joking the entire time we've been sick that it's the H1N1 virus and when he would mention it out in public I would shush him because shhh you're being embarrassing. And because I haven't really been all there mentally this past week..I didn't know he was being serious about what we had. I just thought..a nasty cold or something that the kids picked up from the daycare during the Special Bonds retreat. No biggie..kids pass stuff on to one another..they'll get better..whatever. Until I got it. And then it suddenly clicked in my slowed mind last night that..dude, we have swine flu. How embarrassing. Out in public..around ALL kinds of people..and we're all diseased. When I told Orion of my realization (after doing some online research about it), he said "I know. I told you we did!" Nice. I thought he was joking.

On Friday, we did our grocery shopping (mostly because we really needed to..because if it could have waited..I would have waited. I felt like CRAP). We then took Calix to get his first official non-mom haircut at this cute little kid's salon

because the kid had a mop head and it was getting embarrassing and I didn't want to give him another mom haircut and ruin his chances of going to a little salon for another month or 2.

My nose was runny at this point.

starting to look handsome!

Maddox wanted to sit in one of the cars and the woman there said he could..so..he did.

And he drove that stationary car all kinds of places in his mind, I'm sure.

awwww

"cheese"

Well look at you, handsome guy!

Then we went to go find me a new swimsuit. Clearly, I wasn't thinking properly. I told you..I was just out of it and drugged up on Dayquil. But I needed a new one and the kids kept asking to go to the beach so fine, I'll go buy a new swimsuit. It's not fun, or easy, to go suit shopping when your eyes are watery and your nose is runny. And because it was getting late..we took the kids to McDonald's for dinner. So they could also play in the playplace (O's been promising them) because we're just asking for trouble and obviously can't take a hint about being sick and needing to be home. What's this you say? Home when you're sick? But why?

pretending to be asleep

You don't see Maddox in any of these pictures because he was too busy climbing all the way to the top and then changing his mind halfway down that big twirly slide. A big kid talked him down the rest of the way..and he came out crying talking about how he didn't want to and how he now wanted to go home. Aww..traumatized.

Saturday was date night. It's been planned for a while..and the kids' daycare fees were paid upfront and even though I told Orion I just wanted to sleep, he said it wasn't really up to me (a man determined to take his woman out..pitter pat). So I slept all day and then took my time in the bath and getting ready for my darling.

Do I look horribly sick? I felt it.

Wait, I love this set. I'm gonna call it Kiss Anticipation

Awww..Orion's facial expressions are the best.

So we left the house at 5:58pm because daycare is at the end of our street. The boys had their pillows and blankets and were all set with full tummies from dinner. When we pulled into the lot I said it looked too empty to be held there. We got out anyway and checked the doors. Locked. We then checked every building's doors..maybe it's being held at the teen center? Maybe the community center? Locked..and the other was having a party. Oy. So we drive home and what do you know, daycare is being held at Fort Shafter this time..not AMR. So we head on out there. Find the building..unload the babies and head inside. It's about 6:30. Time's ticking away. The flyer said closed toed shoes. Living in Hawaii and the boys not being in school or anything..they have two pairs of shoes right now. Sandals..and crocs. The crocs were closed toed..so they wore them. When we got inside the lady was putting their name tags on and then looked down and said "uh oh..are those crocs?" "yeah" "they can't wear those here" "why not? It said closed toed..they're closed toed.." "they're getting ready to go outside to play and it's just unacceptable footwear for playing outside" (which is bull because my kids play just FINE outside and at parks with crocs on!) So we load the kids back up into the car AGAIN after I may or may not have mumbled some words outloud about this being bullcrap and ridiculous..and we headed out to find a store that sold children's sneakers at a decent price because I am NOT okay with shelling out $40 (and up) for two pairs of tiny shoes that my kids will outgrow and barely wear. Where's a friggin Payless? Target..go to Target. Orion dropped me at the door, I ran in and grabbed a pair of size 6 and size 8's and some socks and made my drippy nosed way to the check out. It's now 7:10. Time's ticking..I'm upset. I get in the car and rant about how if they mean SNEAKERS they should just say SNEAKERS and not closed toed shoes. I can't even go in the building to help Orion drop off the kids because I'm so furious (that and me being around when they're dropped off makes it harder for them to stay. They freak out if I leave them). It's 7:30. They split Calix and Maddox up..Maddox is freaking out because he just wants to be with his brother (and hey, I understand. I was the same way with Hannah)..but after about 15 minutes Orion finally sneaks out. I just want to go home at this point. It's stupid and pointless to even go out now..but Orion gently reminds me that it's not up to me (pitter pat).

We get downtown around 8pm and we have until 11 before the boys absolutely have to be picked up. This means the movie we were going to see is no longer do-able because we waited to do dinner..and now it's an either or situation. Skipped the movie..went next door to Dave and Buster's instead. We sat at the bar and had drinks while we waited for our table to be ready. Orion ordered some chicken and avocado sandwich..I ordered the Philly cheesesteak ("just meat and cheese..none of that other bullcrap"**) because I haven't had one in a while and they claim to get their steaks from South Philly. I wanted to test that out. My ears were clogged and I could barely understand what the waiter was saying..and by the time it registered, it was too late anyway. That was embarrassing. But I still say I was probably his favorite customer of the day. I had him laughing like crazy and he called me old school from the way I was talking. So that was silly. And I almost got him to freestyle at the table. I told him I had faith in him.

We were going to do chocolate fondue for dessert and feed one another because it's cute..but we were way too full after our meals and we didn't have a ton of time to sit around and think about it or anything..so we paid and headed upstairs to the games. Had tons of fun up there..won bunches of tickets..my nose dripped a few times. Ya know. Keepin it classy. We cashed in our tickets..picked out a few things for the kids with our winnings and then headed out. We got to the sleeping babies around 10:45 and were glad to see that they put them back together (seriously..when you're a kid and you're thrown into a large group of other kids that you don't know and you think you're safe because you have your brother with you..and then they take your brother away..how scary! So I was really just glad they put them back together). Brought them home and tucked them into bed before retiring for the night ourselves.

On Sunday, Orion got the boys all riled up about the beach. Come on! Let me just be sick! Let me curl up on the couch and sleep and get better! COME ON! So we went to the beach (well, first we went to pick up some more sunscreen and a floaty raft)..where I didn't bring my camera..but took these two pictures of Maddox with my phone:

because he was rolling around in the sand..and putting his face in it to secretly eat it. Gross.

I swam for a few hours..er, I treaded mostly, with Maddox in my arms because he wanted to swim with me and not play in the sand with Orion. He practiced his swimming (where I hold him out and on his belly and he kick kick kicks! Kick kick kick!). I couldn't take any more than that..and I'm sorry. But I just wanted to sleep. My body was so achy it felt bruised. The worst weekend to be so active, ya know? But it is what it is and I think I might be almost done with this whole mess..and I hope that I am because I honestly cannot be out of commission for this long. How annoying!

So this is where I've been and what we've been doing and now I need to go see if there's anything on my dinner menu plan for the week that I can make quickly because this short post turned into a massively huge one that took like 2 hours.

Tomorrow is our anniversary!

**in which other words were really used but I'll edit for the sake of readers.

Primary Colors

2009-06-09T14:50:00.004-05:00

Something from Strong Bonds that was pretty neat..it's called Primary Colors Personality Tool. Play along and then at the end I'll tell you what color I am..and also what color Orion is..and what that means. Oh golly, I hope Blogger lets this turn out the way I've written it out and not smash it all together!

There are seven rows of boxes. First read Row 1 and choose the set of words that sounds the most like you and put a 6 in that box. Then read through the rest of the boxes in that row and choose the next set of words that sounds the most like you and mark it a 5..keep going until you get to the one that is least like you and mark that a 1. 6 is the most like you..1 is the least like you. Do the same for rows 2-7.

Ready?

RED Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple

ROW 1 - Forceful, Bossy. Likes variety, Likes people. Peacemaker, Agreeable. Fair, Honest. Likes clear instructions. Productive, Responsible.

ROW 2- Likes goals, Takes action. Inspiring, Great communicator. Patient, Caring. Humble, Can be trusted. Perfectionist, Picky. Gets things done on time.

ROW 3- Speaks mind, Strong-willed. Entertaining, Life of the party. Supportive, Gentle. Committed, Dependable. Thorough, Accurate. Focused, Completes things.

ROW 4- Determined, Direct. Loves fun, Makes quick decisions. Gives in to others. Spiritual, Respectful. Likes ideas, Likes to solve problems. Organized, Level-headed.

ROW 5- Wants to win, Competitive. Blurts out what comes to mind. Warm, Understanding. Sincere, Accepting. Under control, Intense. Likes to teach, Follows rules.

ROW 6- Intimidating, Short tempered. Risk taker, Jumps at opportunities. Easy-going, Avoids conflict. Purposeful, Thankful. Likes order, Likes details. Blunt, To the point.

ROW 7- Power -driven, Prideful. Lots of energy, Spontaneous. Likes romance. Thoughtful, Polite. Curious, Likes being alone. Likes high standards.

Now, you should have a line of 1-6 on every horizontal row. Don't add those up. Add up all of the reds, oranges, yellows..etc. The highest possible score for each column is 42 and the lowest possible score is 7. The column with the highest total is your Primary Color, and the columns with the next highest totals are your Secondary Colors. These colors are likely to describe you. Every personality has strengths and weaknesses.

RED: Takes charge, determined, can have a temper, can be demanding of others, forceful, competitive, direct, impatient, opinionated. (Need for power and control)

ORANGE: Outgoing, takes risks, likes variety, likes to have fun, likes to be center stage, can be inspiring to others, can act without thinking. (Need for attention and excitement)

YELLOW: Understanding, kind and caring, puts off decisions, likes being around people, can give into people, happy to do things for others. (Need for approval)

GREEN: Fair, tolerant, humble, unyielding, deeply-committed, respectful of others, can be judgmental, trustworthy, values harmony. (Need for harmony)

BLUE: Likes details, perfectionist, disciplined, organized, likes to spend time alone, wants to get it right, can be a know-it-all, asks questions, likes order. (Need for order)

PURPLE: Frank, organized, independent, gets things done, follows directions, can be impatient, level - headed, thorough. (Need for accomplishment)

***PITFALLS FOR PERSONALITY TYPES***

When you look carefully at the color chart, you will see that each personality type has strengths. Below, a major strength of each color is listed first. There are also a number of potential pitfalls or problem areas listed for each color type. These can be useful to think about in terms of who you are and how you treat others. The descriptions can also help you think about how others in your life are different from you, and how you can best relate to them.

RED PERSONALITIES-

A Major Strength: Your greatest strength is that you can take charge and lead when you need to do so.

You can be too rigid. "My way or the highway" thinking can cause people to leave you.

Red personalities love being RIGHT, so much so that there are times that they would rather be RIGHT than be loved. You must remember that your opinions are just that - opinions - not facts.

Your tendency to make your temper or bad mood someone else's problem damages trust in your relationships.

Your gruff exterior can keep people from really knowing and loving the best parts of you.

You can be too focused on yourself and not enough on others around you.

PURPLE PERSONALITIES-

A Major Strength: Your greatest strength is that you are good at getting things done.

You are always at war with time. You believe there is not enough time to accomplish the things that need to be accomplished. You have difficulty getting your priorities in order - tunnel vision with your work can harm your relationships.

You love having the RIGHT answer to a problem. But you'll do best in relationships when you remember that others can assist you in solving problems, and you learn to value their viewpoints as well.

Your focus can be very narrow. This, at times, can cause your communication to be abrupt. You need to try to have conversations with your spouse or partner, children and co-workers that are longer, at times, than what is necessary.

Your tendency to be efficient can leave your family and friends feeling left out of your life. You need to remember to make time for the people you love and love them in a way that feels like love to them.

You have a tendency to define yourself by what you are able to accomplish and produce.

BLUE PERSONALITIES-

A Major Strength: Your greatest strength is that you are organized and focused.

Sometimes you don't communicate your feelings because you can't find the perfect way to do it. You sometimes think too much about things.

Blue personalities are doers and need to do things the RIGHT way. This causes them to sometimes not take time to relax and listen. You need to understand that people will think you are much smarter and more dedicated when you show you are willing to listen to them.

Watch out for a tendency to talk down to others, to be a "know it all" or treat others without respect. Try to be more accepting.

You tend to judge others but that may actually make you (and others) unhappy and frustrated. Try to be more understanding. It could turn your world around.

You have a tendency to be a perfectionist. This can make you and all those around you very unhappy. Learn the difference between perfect and great.

GREEN PERSONALITIES-

A Major Strength: Your greatest strength is that you are respectful and accepting of others.

However, you must watch out for becoming judgmental, or feeling that your perspectives and values are superior to other people's, even your partner's.

You are likely a big picture thinker. You may tend to have trouble solving a specific problem until you know how the problem relates to the big picture. Sometimes you make things more complicated than they need to be.

Sometimes green personalities have such a strong inner spiritual focus that their partners feel like they are not important. Make sure you make your partner feel like a priority.

Greens become discouraged when they think the world or people around them are out of tune with the RIGHT values. They don't care as much about being right as they care that things are right with the world.

Your focus on what is fair or right for the world can make you less sensitive to the needs of individuals.

YELLOW PERSONALITIES-

A Major Strength: Your greatest strength is that you are gentle and understanding.

Your feelings can be so strong that you sometimes do things without thinking. Your heart can overrule your head, so be sure you make clear decisions about relationships.

Yellow personalities don't care as much about being right as about being loved. This could make you more vulnerable to picking or staying with partners who might not treat you well.

Because of your gentle nature, you have a tendency to give in to others. When you are hurt or are not appreciated, you might use guilt to attempt to get what you need rather than being direct and telling others what you want to see happen.

Many times you will sacrifice your needs for the needs of others. This makes you angry but your anger comes out in very passive-aggressive, or indirect, ways.

You have a tendency to over-commit yourself. It is very hard for you to say NO. You need to speak up for what you want and need. This is a skill that you need to develop in order to have happy, healthy relationships.

ORANGE PERSONALITIES-

A Major Strength: Your greatest strength is that you help people have fun and try new things.

You can communicate well when you take the time to do it, but you need to work on slowing down to really listen to others.

Orange personalities aren't as interested in being right as they are in getting their way. They are so good at talking that they sometimes wind up manipulating people. This can make it hard for others to trust them.

You have a hard time balancing your commitments and having fun. The song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was written for orange personalities. You can be so focused on yourself that you sometimes have a hard time following through on the things you told others you would do.

You can act without thinking about the consequences. This can get you into trouble in relationships - even at work and sometimes with the law. Learn to think things through carefully.

You have a tendency to want to be the center of attention. This drive for attention can lead you to ignore other people, even those who are most important to you.

WOO! My hands are tired! Okay, how'd you like this? Was it fun? Did you learn anything? I'm a Green..and my secondaries are Yellow and Orange. Orion is Yellow with his secondaries being Green and Orange.

06-08-09

2009-06-09T00:05:00.002-05:00

Why this man will always make my uterus do the empty shake around baby ache..in 6 pictures or less:

He plays Jenga with Calix and REALLY gets into it..hahah! Loves it!

When Maddox randomly climbs on the back of his leg, he'll give him a ride as Maddox screams "weeee!!!!"

Ugh, I love him. I love THEM. All of them. Ugh. I'm so disgustingly in love with my family.

I made trifle last night..because I haven't made any in a couple of years and it just sounded right. I need a trifle dish.

Calix is sick sick sick. Orion was sick all week and now Calix has a stuffy cold face and it's making it hard for him to sleep and be nice to his brother. Ya know.

I'm thinking about not going to Colorado in October and instead taking my little family to one of the other islands in November as a joint birthday present for me and Orion. It's a one or the other type thing because it'll cost about the same to take my entire family to the Big Island or Kaua'i or Maui and stay in a nice hotel for a week as it will for just ME to go to Colorado for not even an entire week. I'm sad the SuperFerry isn't up and running anymore..that would have saved us some money in the transportation to the other islands department as we could have taken our van and not needed to rent a car or anything. But..it is what it is, I guess. Still up for discussion though.

That's pretty much all that's been going on here. I'm tired. I'm tired all the time and I don't know why.

Time for trifle.

Day Two..Date Day and Night!

2009-06-06T12:39:00.005-05:00

Day two started out with the babies starting their talking at 5:32 and after trying to coax them back to sleep didn't work, I slipped out of bed and made my way out onto the balcony to try to get a picture of the sunrise. I was a little too late..and also not in the best spot to catch it.

Still pretty though, shoot.

I think that's called the Duke Kahanamoku Lagoon. Orion and I went there later that day.

Same shot..after breakfast. The sun's up..everyone's out and about..

I love that chandelier! Tapa ballroom..where our classes were held. Something else the very same chaplain said "The way a woman spells love is L-O-V-E. The way a man spells love is R-E-S-P-E-C-T" and you know me..I called him out again. "That's ridiculous! I deserve respect, too! So I'm supposed to just bend and respect him and he doesn't have to respect me? What kind of crap is this?!?!" and once again..the women around me echoed my feelings. This chaplain was ridiculously sexist..and the other chaplain would choose the wrong words for inflection. It would be like he was talking normally and then all of a sudden shout out a word or two and it was like 'whoah..whoah..I'm awake!' haha. Honestly though, those are my only complaints about the classes. I'll share some of the neat stuff from our work books (yeah, I know) in the following days so you can play along too if you'd like.

After class, we went to Tapa Cafe for lunch (we ate there most of the time) and then Orion headed home to pick up more diapers and the boys' blankets because they were going to be in daycare until 10pm (!!!!!). While he was gone, I napped for a bit and then soaked in some sun on the balcony while sipping a whiskey and coke (I sip on drinks throughout the day while we're on a vacation of sorts. It's just what I do..don't judge me. I don't get plastered..I enjoy myself.) Anyway, after Orion returned, we put our suits on and headed down towards the Duke Kahanamoku Lagoon. I left my camera upstairs as we planned to be in the water the whole time and didn't need an unnecessary risk..but I had my cellphone on me and took a single picture. Consider this the start of our date day.

We rented out a peddle boat for half an hour..and I think ours was broken or something. It just would not steer correctly (and I know the lever is backwards..like to turn right you move the lever to the left. That was not the problem) I was sitting there with my head back and cracking up while these little kids were zooming past us with no problems and we're just going in circles. I thought it was hilarious. After returning the boat, we swam together for an hour. The hook on the back of my swimsuit snapped off (so embarrassing). We floated while holding hands. I wrapped my legs around him. We bobbed and talked. We kissed. Ah. No children talking about how they wanted to go play in the sand. Just us. We haven't gone swimming alone together literally since I was very pregnant with Calix. I missed it and it was very much appreciated.

After swimming, we laid on the beach to dry off before heading back to our room to shower. When we got out, I announced I was going to leave just my towel on and go sit on the balcony for a bit. It was kind of like being naked..but no one on the balconies around can tell. My darling agreed and played along.

Shortly after, we went in to roll around in the sheets. What? You can't have an entire date day with no babies around and NOT go for a romp. I'm just honest about it.

We put ourselves back together and headed out to dinner as we had a 6pm reservation for Bali by the Sea.

Our view from our table. It was panoramic and gorgeous. This picture doesn't do it justice.
Our waitress announced we were to have a 5 course meal and listed off what was planned for us (there were a couple of courses that we had a choice between..but otherwise, it was pretty much just picked for us). Course one was a basket of 3 different breads..all delicious and carby.

Course two was Sugar Cane Crusted Scallops. Ponzu Beurre Blanc, and a warm Arame salad. I'm not a seafood person. I'm not an adventurous in the food department person. But you know, I figured..since we were in this swanky restaurant and these chefs know what they're doing the majority of the time..I will play along. I'm so glad I did (and glad I wasn't like some of the other couples around us who turned their noses up at it declaring they won't eat it..gross..get it away from them. Really? It's an experience, you guys!).

Orion gives it a thumbs up.

Course three for me was Island Greens with Farm Fresh Tomatoes..Japanese Cucumbers and Bali Champagne Dressing. Spicy and delicious. Orion chose the soup..Kahuku sweet corn and Maui onion soup finished with a touch of coconut milk (can you tell I'm copying the menu? You didn't really think I knew all of this, did you?). I sampled it and my goodness, it was super delicious!

Course four was Grilled Black Angus Filet Mignon with Potato Puree, Caramelized Maui Onions, Baby Island Vegetables with Bordelaise Sauce. It was out of this world crazy delicious. When asked how the food was so far I simply responded with "gorgeous"..and man oh man it was. In taste and in sight.

Course five was the Koa Box..Chocolate Kahlua Mousse, Feuillantine with Hazelnut..and the rest was not listed on the online menu as it was brought out to us. That's a pure chocolate rod..and I know the red sauce is raspberry..I never got around to tasting the green sauce because I was stuffed. I could not finish dessert and I'm still bummed about it haha..it was THAT good.

After dinner, we strolled as lovers down to a bar nestled on the beach where I asked the tender to surprise me. Make me anything. It was blue..and it was tropical and he told me I can't come to Hawaii and not drink one of them..but then I told him I've lived here for a year. But it was delicious and gave me brain freeze more than 3 times. Orion had..I don't know..another specialty.

Afterwards, we slipped our sandals off and walked hand in hand onto the beach..the waves crashing at our feet.

I love this man..we have so much fun together!

our shadows holding hands in the water. Awww we're so nerdy.

We made our way down the beach and onto the pier

Where we kissed and took nerdy pictures

As we were walking back to the hotel..there was another older couple walking down the pier. I suggested they dance when they get to the end..gotta keep the romance alive, ya know? Orion laughed because he thinks I'm cute and wouldn't you know it? By the time they reached the point with the lights and we were at the other end, I turned around to see them slow dancing. Honestly. I love it!

Gazebo..

And down at Tapa Bar there was a live band doing Hawaiian spins on Eric Clapton greats and other randoms..but I was dancing and into it. But, it was late..and the babies needed to be picked up. Maddox was asleep in a playpen and when we brought him out into the hallway and he heard the music, he sat up and started wiggling in my arms and said "dancing, mommy..I dancing!" because he's awesome and knows how to melt his mother's heart just when she feels like she can't hold anymore amazing love. Sigh. I really have a great life. I never deny that.

After the babies were put to bed, Orion and I sat out on the balcony talking about how far we've come as a couple (and little family)..and future plans for us. But mostly just really aware of how dang lucky we are. Not a day goes by that we aren't grateful.

It's been 2 years since Orion and I have been on any kind of a date alone. It was very needed..and now that the babies are officially signed up for childcare, we have plans to go on dates twice a month. Our next is on the 13th because Orion has to work on our anniversary..so we're doing the date part of that a couple of days early.

Woohoo for fun times with spouses! Now, all of you..go do something fun with your significant other..and if you get the chance, grab them up and dance. Closeness is required. :)

Strong Bonds Day 1

2009-06-05T22:36:00.011-05:00

I'm going to need to split these pictures up by day because there are just THAT many. I'm sure if I'd gotten a decent amount of sleep within the last 3 days I'd be up to throw them all up here right now..but ya know, I didn't. I didn't and I'm that kind of exhausted one is after vacation with children who like to go to bed at 10 (usually 7:30-8pm) and wake up at 5:30 (usually 6:30-7am) because they're wired from the daycare giving giving giving just to keep them quiet. But, there was loads of quality time and even though some of the classes bothered me (by way of basically saying the woman's needs don't really matter and ONE TIME, I kid you NOT! I kid you not that one of the chaplains seriously said making love is for men's gratification! Then I spoke up and said in front of everyone, "well, I know *I* appreciate it!" to which many of the women in the room said "I hear that!" and laughter erupted because DUDE, what year is it?? Do you really feel that way? Your poor wife. That poor poor thing.), there were also a few good things to be taken away from this retreat. Classes were only 3 hours long (with breaks) and we sat in the back mostly chatting it up with other couples (which was totally nice).

ANYWAY, so before the first day's class started..and after we dropped the babies off at daycare, we had an hour or so to wander around. So we did.

pretty flowers

I was going to seriously do an entire post with just pictures of statues because I took that many pictures of them.

Hawaii..the only place you can wear a mumu anywhere and no one even bats an eye. It's more than socially acceptable.

These were hanging from rooftops everywhere. I was walking around all like "oooo..flowerssssss" cause I'm entertained easily.

This woman's cart had some of the most gorgeous jewelry. I wanted more than half of it.

But? It was insanely overpriced. Like see that big fat chunky longer than the others in its section turquoise necklace? I wanted it. It went perfectly with what I was wearing..but it was $88. I didn't think Orion would really want to pay $88 for it..but I told him to take notes anyway. Ya know.

dude, there were live animals all over the place. Look, flamingos!

Hello, darling. (off topic, but today? One of the chaplains asked me how I was and I said "I'm just dandy!" and he laughed. He laughed at me and I was all "well golly, it's the way I talk" and then he laughed more..but ya know what? If I want to speak like a jolly woman from the 50's...I dang well will. Your laughter will not deter me!)

We tried to get a picture of Calix with this statue a few times..but he would SCREAM and be all "NONONONO!!!!!" like we were going to FEED him to it. I guess it does look a little scary haha.

waterfalls everywhere!

hello, unaffordable (for me) lover.

Our room. Tapa tower..20th floor..room 52. If ever you come to Honolulu and want a fabulous view..not just of the beach..ask for this room. Or maybe another on this side of the hotel between floors 18 and maybe 26. Just because you don't want to TOWER over everything..but be able to appreciate it. But I mean, different strokes.

Still chubby..but I think you can tell I'm shrinking a bit, right?

How to call an elevator when you're 2 & 3.

Step 1 - Dad shows you which button to push

Step 2 - push the button

Step 3 - show up too late when you're the 2 year old. Get promised the next pushable button.

Tapa cafe for dinner

these two pictures are brought to you by Orion as I was on the hunt for food for the babies. Buffet. Oh, how I hate buffets..but this one wasn't bad. Pretty tasty.

After dinner we took the babies on a walk to go find the penguins. Dude, I know..penguins in the hotel. AWESOME!

checking out the penguins and fish and turtles

an after dinner stroll on the beach with the babies (check out that girl taking a picture of herself on Waikiki beach during sunset. Teehee)

Teehee we do it too. No shame.

Can you just feel the cool sand between your toes? Oh, I can.

And these last few pictures are why I suggested the room we were in.

Take it in

take it all in

oh, the life

freaking gorgeous! And know I didn't do any fancy tricks. I just held the camera out and snapped pictures at varying times. No flash (which is why some of them are a tad blurry..sorry).

Amazing, right? Ugh.

Tomorrow: Day two..AKA DATE DAY! AHHH!!!

06-02-09

2009-06-02T23:32:00.003-05:00

Dinner tonight was pretty simple. I haven't been feeling all that well..and was honestly just going to pop a frozen pizza in the oven or something..but I got to browsing recipes anyway. I came across some meatloaf and suddenly for the first time in like..4 years, I was craving it. I used this one for Mini Meatloaves from Allrecipes.com..stuck the mixture into a muffin tin and ya know what? Mmm, mmm, mmm, Clark! They were tassstttyyyy!! Threw together some homemade mashed potatoes (no gravy.. I knowww, but it was high enough calorie without added gravy!) and mini carrots and it was good eatin.

The kids didn't eat them and I don't even know why except for maybe they thought it looked different. I don't know. I coaxed Calix through some of his dinner by telling him if he didn't eat, he wasn't allowed to go to the hotel with us tomorrow. Which we all know is ridiculous because of course he's going with us..but kids don't know, man. There's still that fear for another year or so..and you know what? I'm using it. I don't care how that makes me look because that kid NEVER EATS ANYTHING.

I must go pack. I've been waiting for all of the laundry to run through before I started..but whatever, it's only a couple of days and our house is down the road in case someone forgot something. It got moved BACK to the Hilton Hawaiian Village on Waikiki..so I'm extra excited all over again. I finally get the chance to photograph Waikiki! Er, try to anyway because I'm not a fabulous photographer..yet. I need to call to make sure there's going to be a fridge in our room..children and milk and what not. Not children in the fridge..milk for the children in the fridge. Ya know.

Here's to hoping these classes don't make Orion and me (I? It's me isn't it? Either way..you know who I'm talking about) see that we really hate one another! Hahaha..oh I laugh but it's a worry!

Have a holly jolly!

Also.. Happy birthday, Alyssa!

And Happy birthday on Thursday, Josiah! Love you, silly sailor!

05-31-09

2009-06-01T00:22:00.006-05:00

It's been like a week or something. I'm here..I'm here. Busy and sleeping, ya know. Let me go through some pictures..see what may have happened this week. Clearly not much that was photographed.

This was the day that Calix said "I have a heart for you, mommy..see? Because I love you!" and he made a finger heart with his cute smile and dimples and needless to say..I died. Ugh, I'm so lucky.

Open the fridge and turn your back just for a second and Maddox has climbed in and is getting cooled off while browsing the shelves. Oh, Maddox..you're awesome.

Tonight for dinner, I threw a random pita together for me and O. I don't know. See, what happens is I go to the grocery store and buy like..whatever (on top of stuff I need for recipes) jumps into the cart and seems like a good idea..and then I get home and need to figure out what I'm going to do with that object before it goes bad, ya know? Anyway. So I had pitas and veggies and ya know..tuna. Sure..sounds like a good time. Oh, and it was. It totally hit the spot.

And because I'm all hormonal..I need chocolate. Listen, don't argue with it..just let it be. So anyway..I scoured Allrecipes.com for a nice chocolate cake recipe and found this baby Black Magic Cake oh, sweet baby in a cradle is that a good cake base..woooo weee! Then I smeared it with this Creamy Chocolate Frosting chopped up some milk chocolate chips and mixed them with coconut shavings and slapped that all up on the sides and mmmaaaaaaannnnn is she a good one. So good I can feel the zits coming to the surface, know what I'm sayin? Shoot. Fact is, it's a fabulous cake (though it may not look that great..because a cake artist I am not.)..and if you have some time..and a sweet tooth, may I recommend it?

Besides all of that, we're probably heading to the beach tomorrow morning because Orion has off and we're all healed from our burns and blisters. Wednesday, we head out to the Turtle Bay resort (they filmed like..Forgetting Sarah Marshall there..and I believe those brats from The Hills were there like a month ago filming) and will be there soaking up the sun and taking classes on marriage or something (I'm still in the dark about all of this but game anyway) until Friday afternoon. I was pretty bummed for a bit that they're not doing the retreat on Waikiki..because come on, it's Waikiki and there's TONS to do around that area and I was looking forward to wandering around with my love on my arm and the babies in daycare. But it was moved to Turtle Bay which is in the middle of nowhere basically..so instead of driving for a bit to do shopping or whatever..I think we'll just take advantage of the seclusion and the beach at our doorstep and just relax. It'll be fun..and if not fun, then funny.

So there's that. Let's see..I've lost 12 pounds so far..so that's good. I'm like 5 pounds away from being what I was when we first moved here..so that's something. Roughly 50 more pounds till my total hotness goal. I love that clothes are fitting me a ton better now..ugh, I'm excited!

Seriously though..how is it that tomorrow is June already? Where did May go????

Memorial day..tons of pictures. Tons.

2009-05-25T23:51:00.009-05:00

Today was Memorial Day..and to us..it's more than just bbq's and hanging out. We're a military family..Memorial day is really about remembering the men and women who so readily gave their lives for our freedom. Some people have Jesus..we have the military. Ya know. Different strokes.

So what better place on the island to go show your respect than the Arizona Memorial? No better place.

The first is a Polaris A-3 submarine -launched ballistic missile..the second is an A-1. Didn't think they were actually that big, did you? Me either.

The USS Bowfin. Submarine (for those that thought it was a ship).

I really love pictures of the American flag. Did you know? Ugh, it just fills me with such pride.

memorial markers for every submarine the US has lost. On each one it gives a summary and then a list of all of the men and women who lost their lives when each was destroyed in whatever way it was destroyed. They refer to them as On Eternal Patrol. That simple phrase gave me goosebumps. Not every memorial marker had names on it..which is a relief of sorts.

For some reason, I just really like all of these pictures I took of the markers.

Hello, Chubby. I know, you're trying.

One of the ferry boats to get to the USS Arizona's resting place. Before getting on, they have you watch a short film about the history of the ship and Pearl Harbor. Tears. Yeah, I cried.

Orion snapped this while on the ferry. I like it.

Me and Calix on the ferry

There she be

Even after 67 1/2 years, there's still drops of oil from the ship bubbling to the surface.

the babies and babe look on and take it all in.

The names. Did you know there were something like 33 sets of brothers on the ship and 23 sets died that day? There was also a father and son on board who also perished. Can you imagine?

Bits and pieces of the ship

Looking at the USS Missouri from the memorial. We visited that in September.

I love this picture. Partially for the flag. Mostly for the building's design.

Me, Calix, and Maddox. I haven't claimed to be thin in a very long time..but I'm honestly working on it. Love me for other things.

Hello, short one.

One day you boys may tower over your dear old mom..let her have fun with her height for now (even though there's no real promise that you boys will be tall because your father's side of the family is on the shorter than your mother's side of the family..side. I'm rooting for you, though. Eat your veggies.)

loves it again

Orion with the original anchor to the ship. Wow.

Now, that's not to say we didn't do a backyard picnic of sorts. We left our grill in Kentucky and still have yet to get a new one. Orion's holding out for a smoker or something. I don't know. So I made some foods while the babes played in the sprinkler and The Burbs played on tv (The burbs!).

I did the baked beans and potato salad from scratch..er, the potato part was probably an obvious one. But who does baked beans from scratch these days? This girl. Orion teased that the hamburger buns weren't homemade but I assured him that I had a recipe for those too and if I'd had more time I would have pulled that one off as well. Don't think I won't!

I think wet children wrapped in towels and eating after playing in sprinklers and the warm sun is one of the cutest sights ever. It makes me feel like I'm doing this mom thing the right way..and also brings me back to my own childhood. I love when I see parts of my past in my children's present (I won't be saying that forever..because we all have some years we're not the proudest of. No? You don't? Just me then? Well, this is awkward.).

After a literal day of mulling over what to make for dessert..lemon meringue pie? Lemon sorbet? Lemon lemon lemon (I have lemons I need to use), I randomly decided on fruit parfaits. Homemade vanilla pudding (I mentioned to Orion how I should keep Jello pudding in the house because it seems like every recipe I want to make lately involves it. It didn't occur to me that hey, you can make it from scratch and it's SO much yummier..until last night when I randomly looked it up on Allrecipes.com..just to check), berries, and homemade whipped cream. Easy easy and totally yummy.

The babies are in bed dreaming of their day on a boat and sprinklers and dessert, even though they didn't finish their dinner, because it's a special holiday and I'm that kind of a mom. The dishwasher is whirring away and I'm beat. Time for me to cuddle up next to my love and take in a flick. 300..his choice..but I like it, too.

Jolly good.

05-22-09

2009-05-22T19:30:00.002-05:00

Let me tell ya..it feels awesome to see a lower number on the scale every morning. It feels awesome to know that Wii fit says I've lost 6.6 pounds since getting home from Arizona..and to also have my own scale agree. And honestly? I haven't been working out. I haven't been able to get a real shirt on because of the sunburn..muchless a sports bra. That's coming soon though. Probably on Sunday I'll start the treadmill again. I've just been eating. Nicely. Pretty naturally, really.

For breakfast I usually have one slice of whole grain toast with half a tablespoon of butter and a handful of berries or other random fruit. Morning snack I'll have an apple or an orange. For lunch I'll either do a big salad (with or without cut up pieces of a Morningstar Farms chik patty) or a decent serving of leftovers from dinner the night before..snack will either be cut up veggies or a fruit and then for dinner I eat whatever but stay in my calorie range (and something that's been bugging me is that all of these food blogs don't normally do the calorie count and I'm like..ahh!! just tell me!)..and while I'm cuddling up with Orion at night watching a movie or whatever..I'll have one of those real fruit popsicles. I drink plenty of water throughout the day. I'm *not* hungry one bit and I feel GOOD about what I'm feeding myself..even though it's roughly 1,000 calories every day. I'm not starving.

I hate that I'm 26 and I'm just learning how to feed not only my body..but my family's bodies correctly. I've been pretty awesome about learning HOW to cook since I've been with Orion (even though I swore I could cook before I met him..and now that just makes me laugh)..and now I'm learning about WHAT to cook. I love opening my fridge and seeing mostly fruits and veggies and knowing they actually get eaten and aren't going to waste. I'm paying more attention. What can I substitute in this meal that'll make it healthier for us? What desserts can I make (because I still love baking..you can't take that from me.) that won't kill my day's progress? I've been reading that little calorie book and I've been putting mental sticky notes about what restaurants have the healthier choices and even sticky notes about what won't be overkill if I DO go places like McDonald's or Burger King (and it ain't the salads, I'll tell you that). Because while I want to eat healthily..you can't take EVERYTHING from me. It's mostly just learning about what works. I don't want to deprive my body. I'm not that kind of girl. If I want something? I'll have it...but be smart about it.

I feel like there's hope for me.